h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The idea behind this thread is to change a common saying ever so slightly and create a definition to go with it. For example:-
Bitter late than never - he who comes second is not a happy bunny.
Short crushed pastry - snacks dropped at a football game.

Fortune favors the bald.

[Did you ever notice all the hairless billionaires who seem to attract pretty blonde women?]

Tompouce fugit [flying pastry]

Every morning I eat breakfast and then solve my pussword crozzle.

For all in tents, and porpoises.


Heard right before an important weather announcement at the Marine mammal sleep away camp.

Where do the marine mammals sleep away?

On the sea bed, of course.

And who maintains their pianos?


The tuner fish

When I was young, participating in church Christmas pageants, I loved the song "While shepherds washed their socks by night."

Yes, that was already enshrined in tradition in the fifties. Someone even extended it:

As shepherds washed their socks by night, all seated round the tub
A bar of Sunlight Soap came down and they began to scrub.