h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Obviously popular amongst 'swingers' ark-ark

Well you know how when people are getting interviewed at farms, and there's always a pair of animals in the background making the beast of one back?

Now that we're getting lots of TV pictures with the main focus being on burning witchcows, I'd like to strike a blow for mammalian equality and perform in the background. Let's see how they like it, when their starring role on the bovine o'clock news is spoiled by a hairy human bum going up and down like a fiddlers elbow (or Peregrin on his bungee rope if you prefer).

Public Health Warning : Any horny couple with a penchant for making love whilst inside pantomime cow costumes should, on no accownt, attempt the above activity. All it takes is one shortsighted farmworker and you'll both be in heat.

Sorry to come back for second helpings so to speak, but I've just been over to the Unusual thread and couldn't help but notice that there seemed to be an underwater club featuring fountainearing females, etc.

Now, my problem is this. Neither Wummenbeevil nor myself can swim. Can we become honorary members of this club if we do it standing up in foot spas with the wave action turned on?

No? Not even if we sprinkle sand in the foot spas (why isn't it FEET spas, were they originally marketed in pairs or something) and add a couple of lobsters and piranhas for excitement?

.....not even if we wear three brass diving helmets?

....and flippers?

Tell you what, for added realism, we'll even hang turds and Dureyfish from the ceiling.

No?



Oh (scuba)suit yourselves.

*ding dong, door opens* Ah good evening Father Murphy, we were just errr.....we were just putting up the decorations to celebrate the Enemancipation of St. Richard of Constantipation. Oh... the Dureyfish? Errr.... Mary, Jesus'n'Joseph, it's amazing what these spiders get up to isn't it?


Will someone please take me away and strap me into my bed or I'll be here all night.

Hahahahaha! Now I just can't get that last image outta my mind!

Did you hear about the young couple caught on camera in a London Eye pod? Now that sounds pretty cool - nice view etc.

Yeah, I've often thought that would be a great location; only problem there's usually crowds of people, you might have to wait a while to get a pod to yourselves.

Good idea anyway

There was always the dome, especially on those hovery type thingies. The 20m high club?

** moderators occupied for hours checking out hoveries but the pause proves far from pregnant **

You know the 'mile high club' - people who have done it while airborne; I'm wondering whether anybody has joined the 'zero-G club' yet

I'm sure some of the astronauts in the International Space Station or Mir must get bored, especially as they're posted there for several months at a time.

It's probably one of mankind's great 'firsts' which we'll never get to hear about.

There was a married couple who went up on a shuttle mission. All the press wanted to know if they got down up there. The couple assured them that they were professional and just took care of the mission. Personally, if I was in orbit with my significant other, I'd really join the zero-G club, and tell the press the same thing......

Actually NASA revealed not long ago that they have been trying out sex in outer space. Different positions, one including a 3 meter long yellow plastic tube. It wasn´t told what that one was for though. It was for experiments, I don´t think the astronauts have been doing any stuff on their own initiative. There´s always a risk of getting pregnant, and that is not a good situation in outer space. Personally I´d also like to try 0-G sex. The mile-high club is useless now they have planes you can hire with a bed in the back. Then it´s just a matter of money for joining, where´s the challenge?

Inspiration everywhere I browse tonite - how about the Ground Zero club - woooooosht! Now that's a rush. That's a quickie. Does a neclear-shadow smoke aftward?

...and is that a Nuclear intae 'er?

Nein!









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Bump'nGrind 0?

Actually the idea of the Mile High Club is getting it on in creative ways with out getting caught... Like in the coffin-like lavatory in one of the seats under blankets in various ways....

On the Sphinx's back. In the absence of sandstorms.

>> On the Sphinx's back... <<


Methinks you've had some sort of precognitive vision.
What else did you see?

Not big on precognition?
Ok, I'll be watching the news for stories outa Egypt in the next few days.


~jwf~

Precognitive vision? Aye, with a bit of luck!

At the moment I'm not too concenred about the next where as the next when.