h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have developed some golden rules that seem to apply universally such as:
* You will get served quicker and more couteously if you smile.
* The sooner you pay a bill the less sleep you'll miss over it.
* It is more important to check the sense of a letter than to check the spelling....
and a few others.

Does anyone else have any "Golden rules for a better life" that I could use?

1)Do what is best, rather than doing what is easiest.
2)Return everything you borrow.
3)Stop blaming other people.
4)Admit it when you make a mistake.
5)Understand that life isn't fair. (A fair is a place where you go to get cheated at games, eat bad food, ride unsafe rides, and look at smelly animals and has nothing to do with life.)

Mostly

Do a simple thing well, rather than a complex thing badly!

Treat a Waiter with respect

Never regret what you've done, regret the things you haven't done

Never burn bridges

As an extension of the waiter one:
* Treat everyone as the person they are, not the job they do.

THere's an old addage that the person who treats the waiter badly is really not a nice person

And I agree - treat everyone as you expect to be treated

Another I've heard recently:
* What's written down takes longer to forget.

In a similar vein to writing things down DJ, one I heard years ago (and still think applies)
What I hear, I forget.
What I see, I remember.
What I do, I understand.

I think it's very altruistic of you all to want to give Duncan a better life!

But, seriously I applaud the idea and wish I could think of something. Life just isn't black and white like that. Basically I would say: just tolerate everyone. At a Sunday School service I went to when my youngest was tiny, they used an analogy which works best for me: it was a story about an oyster, which everyone just ignored because it was so ugly, but inside was a lovely pearl. Now I try and remember that inside everyone there is a pearl, and no one is all bad, boring, useless or despicable.

And be natural is important, too. I find it most offputting when people do things like use my name too much, or touch me when talking to me, because they have obviously learnt in some course on being a good salesman or a convincing speaker that this is how you win a person over.

Never beleive any of the following;

The cheques in the post
I'll pull out in plenty of time
I never get sick on whisky
I drive a porsche
My wife doesnt understand me

"YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, AND WHEN YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DONE.
1. Enjoy life while you can.
2. Be nice to others; they only get one life, too.
3. Live for today, but plan for tomorrow; Life's short, but it'll be a lot shorter if you don't take care of yourself.
4. If you must believe in some sort of life after death, try reincarnation; at least that will encourage you to leave the world in good shape for future generations."

Who wants to get run over by a bus when there's still money in the bank?

That's the one,TC
Die owing the bank rather than vv.
Some "friend" has given me a fridge magnet that says 'Time spent teaching is never lost". I think if 'learning' was subsituted for 'teaching' it would be a better golden rule. I try very hard to learn something new each day. Sometimes the tutorials are a bit intensive eg at Manchester airport I had to phone one son on a land line to find out how to contact the other on an unfamiliar mobile. Well, at least they had a laugh about it. That's the other very important rule: laugh as often as you can, at yourself if necessary

Complete honesty with those you count as friends, always.

26199

Life is TOO short to be taken TOO seriously.
"From hhgttg" I'd rather be happy than right any day
Rocket

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

Chocolate is full of Vitamin E.

What goes around comes around.

You only have one reputation.

You never know when the phone doesn't ring.
(ie - when you've done something badly you won't get offered something better)

The collective noun for bankers is a "wunch".

Keep your tyres inflated correctly, or they will wear uneavenly.

Never say "yes" when a policeman says "Do you know why I've stopped you?" Don't say "no" either.

Check the door is locked before you go on holiday.

Never say the unforgivable thing to your spouse - even if you are in the middle of a divorce.

*The* Golden Rule is "He who has the Gold makes the Rules"


Damnat quod non intelligunt. (Lat.: They curse what they can't comprehend)

One does not love because of but despite of.

Don't confuse vulnerability with weakness.

Jealousy is the ultimate waste of time. [Either it's unfounded or too late]

A deer without shame is without grace.

Every depth smells of underground.

Never raise your voice over your horizon.

Real chosen ones have no choice.


For more rules (incl. loads of was to cure a hangover) check out "The gown-up Guy's Guide to Life" by Joan Saunders & Matt Ford (ISBN 0-330-35857-X). And there's a "Girl's"-Version, too.

PS: Though only one of the above is from the book.

Could you expalin the deer one, please?

Argh! Ok, I admit it. I stuffed up the translation. I thought that the word "shame" had the same double-meaning in English as it has in German. Try this one instead:

A deer without shyness is without grace.

Might make a little more sense now. Still, I shall not hold back an explanation.
A deer or even more so a doe is usually seen as a graceful (ie: characterized by elegance or beauty of form, manner, movement, or speech; elegant) animal. But if it was not to posess a certain shyness (ie: being easily frightened away; timid) but rather frearlessly approaching (humans) it would not seem as elegant but more blunt/rude/brusque.
Thanks and HTH!