h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Never been able to fathom what's going on here. I'm sure I'm not alone, but throughout my life I've found that there are people (whether in social or work environments) that I consistantly impress, and other people that I can *never* say anything remotely intellegent, funny or insightful to

In some cases the cause is more certain; I still get somewhat tongue-tied in the presence of beautiful/confident people but other times it's not that.

There's a manager, a few grades above me at work, who i just never fail to impress. It seems like no matter what he asks me, I have an answer for and can expand upon any subject he broches with me.
On the other hand there are some junior colleugues that I just always end up saying infantile and un-funny things to and can rarely answer their questions vey well.

There are also other high-up managers who I fail to impress and people below me who I do, so I don't think it's a rank thing

Is it just one of those random things that many people encounter or does someone have a better explanation?

I rarely pay much attention to astrology, but in extreme cases it seems to be on the mark.I'm a Taurus and my brother's a Scorpio -- two very incompatible signs. And that's just the western astrology system. In Chinese astrology I'm a Rat and he's a Horse, which are also extremely incompatible.

There's also a sibling rivalry thing going on.

Astrology is probably not "a better explanation," but like many other things it comes out of nowhere and randomly happens -- sort of like reality .

I think that the only person in my life, in any capacity, that I always failed to impress or satisfy was my mother. But then, she made 6 kids and I am one of the 4 that were no more than the Catholic obligation.

My mother didn't even try to make me toe any religious lines. I wouldn't have done it anyway, so she saved some effort and avoided some aggravation, though by no means all, as I was quite headstrong in my way .

The higher that people are in the system the more tolerant and friendly they tend to be their subordinates, as they have nothing to prove.

A good manager is aware of this and uses this, those below you always tend to be more reserved, is just human nature. The armed forces rely on this tendency.

When I managed a department, I was friendly an tolerant, letting my employees work out how they wanted to divvy up the job duties. I was only dictatorial in the sense of insisting on a good quality end product. Later, when there were huge personnel cuts and I found myself taking on some clerical tasks, this became a detriment. Then they claimed I wasn't dictatorial enough.

winnoch2, I think I know what you mean, although I'm not especially aware of impressing anyone!
I feel it's probably a personality issue, some you gel with, feel comfortable around & some you don't.

Perhaps a similar vein, there are people who 'don't take the hint' & those who do, when you are trying to deter their determination to 'be friends' with you/ ask you to do something.

I vaguely remember a few scenes in some sitcom (Modern Family, I believe) where one of the main characters wants to impress this one other fellow and EVERY time they meet he either says something wrong, or something happens to make him look foolish.

It's definitely not a unique concept.

I'm glad that I got out of managing people, and went to more of a customer service position. I could tactfully find out where people were coming from, and tailor my services to what they wanted. Much less stressful than being a boss.

I think so to Teasswill. I think there is also an element of becoming increasingly aware that you are repeatedly failing to impress someone, so you try too hard, which of course always results in more failure, so you then try harder, and so on ..

That leads inexorably to burnout. I find that burnout becomes easier as I get more practice, but recovery is just as hard.

How did I just *know* from the title that this was a Winnoch thread !?!?

Anyway old chap, with you all the way. I just hope it's a two-way thing and that others find the same thing when talking to you.

It's not always words, either. My father was always telling me how clever/pretty/capable I was. But he still managed to give me a huge inferiority complex by his actions and by simoly never entrusting ne with any responsibility. As kids, we weren't allowed to do anything but pick up stones in the garden. So much negativity!

I hear you, but it's possible to give someone an inferiority complex while letting them do things. My father wanted my siblings and me to get off our butts. He even arranged a job for me at the town library: mowing then lawns i n the summer, and shoveling the steps in the Winter. Those tasks were okay, and I got paid for them. But chores at home were tricky because my father wasn't good about communicating what he wanted. I felt like an incompetent mindreader.

Heh... when I was a kid, I wanted to help with various projects, carpentry and car repair but I inevitably heard the following, "You wanna help, here, hold this."

Unless "this" was a flashlight, it was inevitably something that didn't need to be held. I finally learned when I heard that to just set "this" down and walk away. The ground or any other flat surface did a much better job of holding "this" than I did.

Ah, the loneliness of command.