h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We noticed the mention of Tom Lehrer's 90th birthday on 9 April, 2018 and were sorry not to have known about it in time to celebrate the occasion properly here and on Social Media, given that there is an excellent Edited Entry about him A907517

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There will never be another Tom Lehrer, and the one we do have is not going to have another 90th birthday. So let's relax and resume breathing.

I suppose that the few of us who appreciate his tomfoolery assume that if we haven't heard of him in awhile, he has likely died without anyone mentioning it. So, when we realize that he has just passed a big birthday milestone, we are of course delighted but not in such a way that we know how to celebrate the event.

Certainly it would be hard to celebrate with food, as the following lines from his songs would illustrate:

"Lots of things there that you can drink,
Nut stay away form the kitchen sink.
The breakfast garbage that you throw into the Bay,
They drink at klunch in San Jose."

or how about

"For breakfast she makes coffee that tstes like shampoo.
I come home for dinner, and get peanut butter stew,
Or if I'm in luck,
It's broiled hockey puck."

Or how about celebrating with sports references?

In "Fight fiercely Harvard, lehrer has the line

"How we shall celebrate our victory?
We shall invite the whole team up for tea."

Okay, how about a walk through the park, poisoning pigeons as we go?

If we dress up for the occasion, we might want to go dancing -- to the Masochism Tango. Afterward, I might hold her hand in mine, being careful not to get bloodstains on my tie.

Of course, we weren't supposed to all still be here. We should have all gone together when we went.

We will all bake together when we bake.
There'll be nobody present at the wake.
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotissery,
nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.

Yes, steak. It takes a strong stomach to appreciate Tm Lehrer, and I would recommend he steak as the best option after all.

{If you know of more suggestions for topical events such as that, where there are Edited Entries already in the Edited Guide, let us know!}

A3332233

"1916 - The Isle of Wight's seaplanes destroy led Zeppelin