h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was just reading an article discussing this. I figured I would hear what the people of h2g2 has to say about it.

Can you define 'okay'?
You mean permissible?
In which circumstances?
By whose standards?

So far I have only two possible answers.
Yes of course and no never. Both equally
valid and defensible.

But we know there are always other options
we haven't yet considered.

Should we eliminate the 'okay' factor as being
an unnecessary social consideration or at least
a variable so full of complex cultural, gender,
age and economic dimensions as to be beyond any
universal determination.


~jwf~

>>When is it okay for a man to cry?

It's easier to state the times it's not okay to cry.

1. After sex.
2. During sex.

That's about it.

Patriotic celebrations.

Awards ceremonies.

when their footie team loses something big and important... when someone kicks them in the family jewels... in that bit in The Bridge to Terebithia

that's about it

When they damned well felt like it, because if they were secure about their masculinity, they wouldn't give a what anybody else thought about it.

There is no shame in crying, but for some reason it's been decided that there is... that it's not 'manly'. Well 'manly'. I was never asked what defines being 'manly'. I don't care that I cry, and sometimes get quite shrill when angry, or that I have quite small hands, or that I find sewing quite theraputic. Manly sucks. Gender roles suck.

More of a stiff upper lip type person I have to admit, but I don't judge others - I think post Princess Diana, we can cry when the tabloids say we can, no?

sprout

A man, a proper man, a real man, may be permitted to shed a tear in frustration but for no other reason.

I seem to remember something like that in military basic training.


So now we all know and can close this thread...

for Mr D. If I could I'd give you a big manly hug.

For me never crying is a sign of weakness, not of strength and as has been said shows the person is more concerned/afraid of what people might think than with his own feelings. To me that's about as far from strong as you can get.

I cry quite regularly: I cried last night over a scene in True Blood and there's a scene in Two Towers that always sets the tears flowing. Nation makes me cry every time, as does His Dark Materials. The Time Travellers Wife has me in floods of tears at several points. This is a good thing.

Cry when you feel crying. Stop when you don't. That said, two of my favouite songs involve stopping crying: The Streets Dry Your Eyes Mate and Oasis Stop Crying Your Heart Out.

Oh and hearing Leona Lewis has done a version of Stop Crying Your Heart Out makes me want to cry tears of rage and fury.

>>For me never crying is a sign of weakness, not of strength and as has been said shows the person is more concerned/afraid of what people might think than with his own feelings. To me that's about as far from strong as you can get.

OK, but if that's true, we should have more sympathy for people who show their vulnerability by never crying, poor dears.

Toy Story 3 made me cry...

The newer Star Wars made me cry for all the wrong reasons.

Mr D, you said exactly what I thought when I read the subject line.

Logically I agree that crying is OK but I do tend to see it as a sign of weakness. This isn't gendered, I apply it to women too.

About once or twice a term I have students in tears and I find it very hard to know how to react. If it's a women my PA tends to move in with tea and sympathy but if it's a bloke she tends to leave me to it.

some people cry, some don't. I have to say that I try not to at work but sometimes (=too bloody often, especially at my age) they wind me up so much, or shout at me in front of the whole office and then there's no holding it back (that sprint to the ladies with a tissue is a regular thing for just about all the women here which says more about the idiots we work for than anything else)

HI - which part of TTT? (is it dying elf-boy?)

"Toy Story 3 made me cry..."

Me too! Quite odd since it's about imaginary beings that are created by computer. Wait....Avatar made me cry too....

Nah Sho, didn't care about elf-boy. It's Sam's speech after rescues Frodo from the Nazgul (incidentally - spectacular image that) and he talks about none of them should even be there but they are, that what they're doing is right and how he believes it'll get better: "There's some good left in this world. And it's worth fighting for."

I also get choked up by Elrond's prophecy to Arwen: "Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die and will there be no comfort, nothing to ease the grief of his passing. He will rest, an image of the splendour of the Kings of Men, glory undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will remain in darkness and in doubt. Like nightfall in winter it comes without a star. There you will dwell, bound to your grief, under the fading trees, until all the world has changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent."

Stubbed toe, paper cut, hair pulled.

FB