h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Of course women are an alien species. And they are not originally indigenous to Earth.

Consider,
They are always cold so they came from a much warmer planet.

They are always late, so the rotation of that planet was much slower.

They are always concerned with weight, so the planet had less mass.

They are always concerned about the way they look so,
a) they are somehow masking their real appearance and
b) are concerned that the atmosphere of this planet as looked through by men's eyes might distort their physical appearance.

They generally have a smaller brain pan and yet they have superior intelligence. Obviously alien.

If they hadn't switched over our ancestors reproductive systems from parthenogenesis to the more pleasurable method we now use we would never have pushed them back into their spaceships.

<<

Why do men.....

.... touch the radiator and then say 'cor blimey it's hot in here, like a ing sauna'!

Why do they have to touch a raditor to apparently know it's hot in a room?

It drives me nuts and if BigR does it one more time I'll chop his ing hands of >>

Could it be......

1. He is trying to drop a hint that it is time to turn the heating off or at least turn down the thermostat that for some inexplicable reason has eluded your acute (or should that be selective) female intuition

2. He is displaying displacement behaviour revealing his deep seated anxiety about the impending utility bills.

3. As has already been pointed out we men will sometimes preform onerous task badly in the hope we will not be asked to do them again* -have you considered that some of us have evolved to the point that we have worked out that by acting in a way that fulfills your low expectations of us you'll feel so smug and superior you'll leave the poor little man to do his own thing - we can do passive aggression too

4. ....or if we annoy you enough you'll go off to moan about us and we can do our own thing - is it possible that while you were bemoaning masculine failings on line BigR was sat on the sofa with a beer happily watching telly.

*..women do it too with the pretending not to understand and "you do it so much better" routine, the only difference is you think us knuckle draggers don't realise your doing it and you think it is you that is massaging our egos

Why do women always question things?

I've given up on questioning why women do such and such, and I do put it own to abduction and return by .

Still it keeps the Male of the species on his toes, and occasionally !

MMF

< 4. ....or if we annoy you enough you'll go off to moan about us and we can do our own thing - is it possible that while you were bemoaning masculine failings on line BigR was sat on the sofa with a beer happily watching telly. .>

BigR was Cleaning the kitchen in fact

I never let anyone get away with doing a job badly. I just go on and on and on and on and on and on... until it's done properly