h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But Mrs Zen, if you are going to believe in life after death, believe in the one that lets you be you. Is what I do. I shall be very cross when I don't get to see what happens next.

But Twiglet, aren't you supposed, in some metaphysical way, to be working through your issues and character flaws and such? That's what you get.

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My big difficulty with reincarnation and afterlife is that I don't know why anyone would want them. I'm quite comfortable with the idea of oblivion, myself. I know that it, conversely, makes some queasy - and I don't get that either.

Reincarnation - the soul's journey from newness to enlightenment or Nirvana. So the theory is that you pick a life where you have the opportunity to learn a particular lesson at the level of the soul. Need to learn to cope with suffering? - Be born in poverty. Comittee genocide? Spend a millon lives being murdered every time. The nice thing about reincarnation is that it says everyone gets their just deserts, if not in this lifetime then the next. I like the sense of almost mechanical orderliness and balance you get with reincarnation.

Being sent to a fiery pit for giggling in church? Get time off for saying "sorr-eeee"? Nah. That sort of justice didn't appeal.

So where does the Bardo fit in?

My preferences: Rim down and loose end out.
I even turn peoples toilet rolls the other way around if they've got i "wrong"... I'm sick... lol

And when it comes to rim down, I picked that one up from my ex-husband who worked as a bartender.. Something to do with glasses staying really clean where it matters; on the inside...

>> So where does the Bardo fit in?

In between lives. A sort of waiting room perhaps? Or the spiritual equivalent of a shower and a change of clothes? What do I know?

By the way, I do get what Twigster's saying here, (or I think I do). It's about deciding when and where to be an arse, and in particular not being an arse to people you like / are in a relationship with / value.

You are hardly innocent of arsiness yourself, ntm. I remember once reflectin on some of my own personal short-comings and you pushed me hard to try to turn them into some kind of judgemental hypocrisy on my part and moral victory on yours.

On the other hand, neither am I innocent of arsiness. As demonstrated.

Right, I’m going to tackle these as I read them, and Bob help you if they’ve been answered already:

Knives and forks in dishwasher: blades up. Stops grungy bits hanging off the end. (cf. mugs in cupboards)

Bacon: I presume you’re talking about the bacon sarnie (because only weirdos would eat bacon outside a sarnie *with* a condiment). A question is often posed about this: brown or red? To which I reply: yellow. The only acceptable accompaniment to bacon in a sarnie is strong English mustard. Outside a sarnie, there are no acceptable acccompaniments.

Mugs in cupboard: for BoB’s sake, haven’t you people heard of mug trees? Who keeps mugs in a cupboard? Weirdos, that’s who.
Mol on mug trees: you’re right.

Loo roll: over, obviously. I’m a bloke.

Cereals and cold milk: well, it’s OK to answer this if you’re still at school, but really, cereals are kids’ food, and you should’ve graduated onto a more mature breakfast offering by now.

Condiments in the fridge (and jam/marmalade etc.) is just plain wrong. They’re *designed* to last outside the fridge.

Dressing: Shirt before trousers, clearly. How else are you to tuck your shirt in properly?

Undressing (ladies): pretend you’re a stripper. Knickers off last.
Undressing (men): no-one wants to see you strip. You can leave your socks on until the penultimate stage (if you sleep naked), or the ultimate if you sleep in your grundies, which is the preferred choice of all non-weirdos (aside: pyjamas – how weird are *they*?)

Showering: Start from the top down: Shampoo hair (if any); wash face (preferably with face-specific wash); rest of body downwards. Particular attention to armpits, groin, arse, and in-between-the-toes.

Rotation: Obviously, you put the glass/cup/plate that you’ve washed up at the back of the cupboard, or bottom of the stack, to ensure even wear and tear on all items?

Books: sorted by genre, alphabetical by author unless biographies (by person biographed) or science by subject.
Books by colour: doesn’t work if you have lots of penguins. You’ll need a system for those.

Poo before shower: surely everyone does this? That’s kinda like “shit before wiping arse”?

Knives: the only person allowed to put knives into, or take knives out of, the “chef’s good knives” block is the chef. So no confusion should arise.

Dishwashers: should be emptied when their cycle has run. Draining boards should also have stuff put away when it has dried. I once moved in with someone who was confused about where the cutlery had gone, because I returned it to the drawer, and they couldn’t find it. As far as they were concerned, cutlery lived on the draining board. Weirdo.

Pillows: the pocket flap is there for a reason. Use the reason.

Ironing: well, obviously you do “non-presentation” bits first, as it doesn’t matter too much if you crease them later. Start with the back, then yoke and collar, sleeves, and finish on the front.

Packers in supermarkets: yes, they have no clue. They’re the teenagers deemed too irresponsible to be on the till – i.e. they’re unable to identify a bar code on a piece of shopping and pass it in front of a scanner. How thick do you have to be to fail that test? I don’t want them anywhere near my shopping, thanks, they’ll just drool into it.

Some people put milk into tea/coffee first: I think this means that they put the milk into the mug/cup/receptacle before adding the tea or coffee. As milk should *never* be put into coffee I’d’ve thought this was an easy one to avoid, but apparently some weirdos exhibit this behaviour.

Anyway, that's all the answers. Eds, you can now close this thread.

RF

I knew that about the Bardo, Ben. But it's more than a waiting room, surely? Bhodisvattas and demons do battle there.

Book recommendation:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Years-Rice-Salt-Stanley-Robinson/dp/0006511481

(ask pedro to confirm)

Incidentally, with showering, obviously top down soaping, but one should always go in stages: soap a section, rinse, repeat. Soaping everything first and then rinsing off in one go is wrong and someone needs to tell my husband that.

Yes, but, Mrs Zen, isn't he arguing that you only have to do it for women? Or is that a separate issue? I must admit I don;t get that at all. I was wondering if it were an intimacy thing. Ie if you are hetro you are going to be in a man/woman life partnership, which is the most intimate and intricate relationship of your life and can get tricky and uncomfortable for all sorts of reasons. I mean, I'm fond of my brother and dad and uncles and male friends and such, and my mum and aunts and female friends too for that matter, but I'm not forced to co-operate or co-habit with them in the same way I am with my husband. I'd be more likely to let go an argument with him than anyone else.

Which is to say, not very likely. But still.

I don;t see why that extrapolates to all women (or men) though.

Or perhaps I have more opportunities to let go arguments with my husband than anyone else. I mean if I let go 50% of our arguments in a year, that's a lot more arguments than I have with most other people ever.

Like I have time to read?

The distinction is between a disagreement a man will have with a man, which he is likely to pursue far past the point where he perhaps should have given up for reasons of stupid macho pride and competitiveness, and a disagreement a man will have with a woman, which he will very rapidly judge worth neither the time nor the effort since "winning", even when he's clearly, demonstrably and obviously right, will likely REDUCE his chances of getting laid, which is nobody's definition of winning anything.

When a man backs down in an argument with another man, he has lost, and he knows it. You can't console yourself with the knowledge that you were in the right. You backed down, you were weaker, he was stronger, you are worse, he is better. Who is right is almost immaterial. This is deep in the male psyche and you can see it happening on buses, in pubs, on golf courses, at work and at home.

When a man backs down in an argument with a woman, he can do so comfortable in the knowledge that he hasn't "lost" - he's withdrawn tactically. There's no hunter-gatherer-apeman derived shame from losing an argument to a woman, even if you're wrong, but especially when you're right. In a very real sense, losing an argument to a woman doesn't matter to a man - not like it would matter losing to another man.

My evidence? The interactions of every single married couple I have ever seen. The interactions of every single pair of disagreeing males I have ever seen. If men could just "let it go" with other men, the way that can - the way that HAVE to if they want to get laid - with women, there would be no war, little murder, and practically no violent assault. Saturday night in the town centre would be a delightful place full of happy people instead of a nightmare warzone.

Oh, and here's everything I know about Bardo: Sally Ann Triplet was HOT

True. And why aren't you wading through postmodenistic text boxes as we speak?

Mind you, he's also wrong in his argument with Kelli (what is the netiquette here? Do I assume they are both in the room or talk about them?).

I reckon the reason why his SO does stuff to please him is because he doesn't ask her do do things that she wouldn't like. I daresay this is subconscious. Really wouldn't like, as opposed to being a bit annoying or uncomfortable. And vice versa of course. The test isn't the mankini, but something one of us dreams up because if he's using that as an eg he can;t really hate it. That's why kelli doesn't want to wear the clothes Twiglet suggests, because that's the independant eg, but then that's also why kelli's husband doesn't want her to.

I have too much time on my hands.

"I reckon the reason why his SO does stuff to please him is because he doesn't ask her do do things that she wouldn't like."

Do you really think I would be taking this position in the discussion, and doing so in the tone I have employed, if my SO ever did stuff to please me?