h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You've met the person of your dreams, everything's perfect but for one wee thing ....

What one attribute in a partner would make a relationship impossible for you,

1) Too tall
2) Too short
3) Too fat
4) Racist
5) Sexist
6) Poor personal hygiene
7) Extreme political views
8) Extreme religious views
9) Welsh
10) Smoking
11) Excessive drinking

Or could you cope with the negatives if the positives outweighed them?

Err you forgot lack of brain power..how could you forget that?

But then they wouldn't have been the person of my dreams I'd already met I suppose.

You forgot homophobic.

B

You forgot ex-convict with tattoos.

perfect in all other respects so they only have one of the faults?

any of these would be a dealbreaker for me:

3) Too fat
4) Racist
5) Sexist
6) Poor personal hygiene
7) Extreme political views
8) Extreme religious views
11) Excessive drinking

of those: if I thought they would seriously tackle the drinking/ personal hygene / too fat and stick with it it might not be a dealbreaker, but they would have to be pretty perfect in EVERY other respect.

of the rest no no no. And it would have to have surfaced after the relationship started because they're unacceptable.

(replace Welsh with Scottish... )

4,5,7 and 8.

And some of those HAVE been deal-breakers for me.

Those sort by

1) physical things that can't be helped (too tall / too short)

2) addictions (too fat / smoking / excessive drinking)

3) poor personal hygiene

5) narrow minded bigotry (racist / sexist / homophobic / extreme political views / extreme religious views)

6) Welsh

Of these, narrow minded bigotry of just about any stripe is a deal-breaker for me. The world is nuanced, I find people who cannot accept that very frightening indeed.

Ben

Can I get po-faced for a minute and question why anti-Welsh sentiment is often considered an acceptable form of racism?

Love me, love my ability to pronounce my double Ls properly. (Theres no C in it!)

I don't think my nervousness around the Welsh or around Catholics is acceptable. Both run very deep and at one time required conscious compensation. You can take the girl out of Gloucestershire, etc.

I still find it hard not to consider Catholicism over-indulgent and in slightly poor taste, despite the fabulous rituals.

My instinctive stance is (a) unsupportable and (b) entirely irrational. As I said, I compensate with rationality.

Ben

For me the big deal breakers are racist, sexist (any kind of bigotry really), extreme religious or political views (I have ended serious relationships over those two) and excessive drinking: anyone who has a more unhealthy relationship with drink than me is out. I don't have a problem with the occasional smoke, but a heavy smoker would probably be a deal-breaker too.

Can't say I'm that fussed about personal appearances, I have my preferences but two of my most important relationships have been very different to my type. Personal hygiene is pretty easy to change and wouldn't stop me if the other things were good.

I pretty much agree with what's been said about extremism, but apart from that, the big deal breaker for me is 'humourlessness'...

That's so deeply unsexy.

I think that it depends what I'd want from the relationship. If I'm looking for an affair, some fun, and a fling, I'm not going to care much about their political views. If on the other hand I'm considering spending my life with someone, and raising a family together I'm going to have more stringent criteria.

I've dated a tattooed ex-convict! Actually, he was one of the most right-on politically correct pro-feminists I've ever met.

I've ended relationships at the phrases "I think marriage should be between a man and a woman", and "Look at the size of the girl in the hula skirt over there!"

And absence of sense of humour. Though that's obviously a subjective criterion.

I don't think I've ever met someone with no sense of humour at all. That would be a very strange thing in a person.

Yes it's subjective.

But it's top of my subjective list.

I think I have. For years, I have always suspected he had a deadpan sense of humour, until one day I got the very definite feeling that no, it was just utter humourlessness.

Hmm, people who think The Office and Jim Davidson are hilarious no doubt HAVE a sense of humour. I still don't think I'd get on with them.

If you hadn't included both 1) and 2) then you could actually find someone with all of them

Oh, and where *is* Taff, these days?

As the Mike Leigh film Happy Go Lucky suggests, someone with *only* a sense of humour can be a little wearing.

Yes...where *is* Taff?

Coming to terms with not being able to use h2g2 on his prison night shifts probably.

You gotta love Marxists sense of humour though.