h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>> ..doing a fairly time-consuming IT course at the moment, <<

Are you the one who's been creating all these strange
new AI sockpuppets who`ve been popping up?

Someone seems to be testing the thresholds of h2g2
hospitality by logging on as dumber and dumber and
obviously not native english speaking but with a keen
sense of the power and influence of good manners.

I suspect the Raj Institute of Keepur Pequerup.


-jwf- aka I.M.Notten-Humber

Regarding 'going to hell in a handbasket', apparently the phrase was originally 'going to hell in a hand cart'. It originated with the idea that some people would be taken off to hell in a wheelbarrow. The original idea was English, the handbasket or hand cart came from the USA. You can find out more here: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/hell-in-a-handbasket.html .

One phrase my in-laws used when the weather looked dark and stormy was "It's black over Bill's mothers'." My dad's version was "It's black as Newgit's (Newgate's) knocker," the 'knocker' in question being the door knocker of Newgate prison. I don't know if Newgate prison ever had a door knocker, or why it needed one if it did have one.

English has lots of nautical idioms:

Copper-bottomed
Three sheets to the wind
Give a wide berth

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/nautical-phrases.html

(actually, that whole site looks like a valuable resource: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/index.html)

Also Cricketing idioms:
To bowl a googly - To do something or come up with an idea that is unexpected or difficult
To hit for six - To completely astonish or incapacitate
Close of Play (often used in business) - at the end of the day
To draw stumps - to finish what youre doing
On a sticky wicket - to be in difficult circumstances
Off his own bat - of his own volition
Thats not cricket - thats not fair

(more? anyone?)

I hate idioms used in the office, as most people do. All that low-hanging fruit, blue-sky thinking, and helicopter view stuff. We can blame your one-time namesake Mr de Bono for a lot of it.

And if I hear anyone who should know better saying "close of play" I look witheringly at them and correct it to "close of business".

"Cannabarse" : something someone can't be bothered doing, or someone who cannot be bothered to do something because they're under the influence of marijuana. So lazy, in fact, that they cannot be arsed to pronounce the words "cannot be arse" as three separate words.

I.e. *almost* as lazy as someone who, when presented with some insultingly easy English homework, goes online and asks a bunch of strangers to do it for them so they don't have to think.

"Idiomatic": the knee-jerk way in which people will answer questions online, even when the question is either (a) stupid or (b) transparently a homework assignment. Portmanteau of "idiot" and "automatic".

ouch Twiggy! Round here that sort of comment would elicit "You've got a right one on yer!" to which you should duck.



"Right one on yer!" = looking as if you're spoiling for a fight.

"About as popular as a visit by the Ton Ton Macouts" Something that only a true Masochist would enjoy

"All around the Wrekin" = the long way round; all around the houses.

e.g. The bus driver was new and didn&#39;t know the route. We went all around the Wrekin!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wrekin

Hi Eltheza!

Welcome to h2g2 I was driving down from the Staffordshire moorlands the other evening, and way away on the horizon we could see the Wrekin. So we know that phrase well here. What a co-incidence to see you mention it.

I hope you have fun here.



Lanzababy

like greased weasel-s**t off a teflon shovel - same as the one before but maybe a bit quicker...

Built like a racing snake - extremely slim

Hi Lanzababy!

Thank you! I&#39;m a Midlands girl, so it&#39;s a familiar expression to me, but I find that it&#39;s not widely known in &#39;other parts&#39;!

"About as reliable as a Syrian blog" - used on Saturday live on Radio 4 yesterday.

As useful as a chocolate tea pot .... self explanatary in it

...another one enshrined in smiley form:

I had an idea years ago that Cadbury ought to make and market chocolate teapots. I'm convinced they'd sell at least as well as some of their easter eggs. You'd aim them at people wanting to buy a sarcastic gift for someone they work with. Let's face it, every workplace has someone who deserves a chocolate teapot. I was picturing something about the size of your fist, hollow, with a handle and a spout of solid chocolate, and a lid that didn't detach.

I'm convinced they'd have been a success.

You've probably got a good idea there twigster . Gift shops could stock them next to their collection of over-sized wooden spoons**. You could make money by selling this idea to chocolate makers.


**'give them a wooden spoon' is a phrase you say about someone who likes to stir up trouble.

http://www.chocopot.com/

An oldie but goodie:

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/how-useless-is-a-chocolate-teapot/