h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Let's see where this takes us)

Once upon a time .......

as I wondered through darkened backwaters of my mind,

the puddles made my feet wet.

Even through the toughened outer shells of my titanium hardened climbing boots a present some years earlier from the Government of Nigeria.

Strangely, in Ireland, they are known as Brogues.

Which is probably why the water had leaked into them, yes it'd been a bad choice not to wear the wellingtons, but could I ever come to turms with that, and other choices.

Like my decision to wear a red and yellow striped woollen hat, especially when I saw what was speeding towards me.

Pottsy was a skilled driver, I'd give her that, but I hadn't ever seen her riding her new machine, and it terrified me to my mettacarpulses.

As I jumped aside to avoid getting squished as flat as ray-fish pancake, I saw that the "machine" was shiny, blue and very, very big with a strange looking metallic loop sticking up from the roof.

What was very worrying was that she wasn't exactly in the machine, or on the machine, but more attached to the machine by a long thin cord.

Suddenly the cord snapped and Pottsy was thrown through the air.

Now the machine, with cord flailing and no-one to control it, was going round and round in circles immediately below Pottsy!!!!!

It was then I realised what I must do.

I did absolutely nothing, even though i wanted to, i couldn`t move....

because my boots were stuck in some kind of purple goo.