h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's the best (or worst) warning that's been printed on the box or label of groceries or wgatever?

I've seen "Warning: contains nuts" and even "Warning: *may* contain nuts/traces of nuts" on tubs of nuts! I know it's to keep with allergy advice legislation and not geting sued, but - I could be wrong here - I'd *expect* nuts in a packet that's clearly labellled in big letters "roast salted peanuts" or whatever. Especially if it's a plastic, transparent tub.

Found on a baby buggy - "Warning - remove child before folding"

My coffee cup says

CAUTION: I'M HOT

My favourite one was on a Tesco's pudding (I forget exactly what it was):

Store upright.

It was printed on the bottom of the box.

RF

>Store upright.

It was printed on the bottom of the box.<

That's got to be the best ever!

>I'd *expect* nuts in a packet that's clearly labellled in big letters "roast salted peanuts" or whatever. Especially if it's a plastic, transparent tub<

I wouldn't, since peanuts are clearly not nuts. But that's just me... I do have a nut allergy and would be very upset if I found any nuts in a bag of peanuts.


A personal favorite? "Do not use if seal is missing". Printed on the seal itself.

On a pack of Cadbury's chocolate Animal Biscuits:

"Do not eat if seal is broken"

(and he was)

<<>I'd *expect* nuts in a packet that's clearly labellled in big letters "roast salted peanuts" or whatever. Especially if it's a plastic, transparent tub<

I wouldn't, since peanuts are clearly not nuts.>>

Exactly, they're legumes (same family as peas and lentils).

Not a warning but I have found no where else to tell this.
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On a label on a pack of Rectal Diazepam tubes.
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"Use one per anus"
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.....just how many anuses do people have, lol?
.
.
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(it is used to stop seizures)

<>

Most politicians have two... they use one of them for talking.

Well ok, I know peanuts aren't *technically* nuts. Knew that was coming. But still doesn't explain why they're in packets of mixed *nuts*, or why they come with a *nut* allergy warning.

Maybe we should have "Warning! Packaged in a factory that has also packaged legumes!"

RF

Maybe the guide lines should have guide lines!

I remember from somewhere that someone put up a sign next to another sign, which read: please do not throw stones at this sign!

Billy Connelly? I think it was in Australia!

In Australia, and probably in other countries too, they have dual carriageways that are joined by single-carriageway roads. If you're joining the dual carriageway it is therefore necessary, depending on the direction in which you wish to travel, to cross to the opposite carriageway (stopping, if need be, in the gap in the central reservation provided for such a purpose).

Some drivers, however, may not be aware that they're joining a dual carriageway, and may therefore start heading against the traffic in the right-hand (overtaking) on what they assume is a single-carriageway road. The fact that they don't hit another car immediately is due to the sparseness of traffic on these roads.

It is quite common to see a large sign a few yards after such a road has joined the dual carriageway specifically aimed at these drivers. It says:

"Wrong Way! Go Back!"

This needs to be read in an Australian accent for full effect. You can also add "you drongo!" at the end, if you like.

RF

Sounds like something that I would read! But those signs are helpful ... for me at least! But now I've got my TomTom (my saviour)!°

http://voice-of-timothy.blogspot.com/2007/10/nutty.html

"DANGER: AVOID DEATH"

http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/

Best one I saw was posted at a seawall near Victoria, BC :

"Warning: Under certain conditions the rocks may be wet and slippery."

Duh!

This a well-known one but there's the Walkers "Max" crisps with the picture of one huge crisp on the packet and the helpful legend saying "not actual size":

http://telcontar.net/Misc/packaging/Walkers-notactualsize.jpg

>Well ok, I know peanuts aren't *technically* nuts. Knew that was coming. But still doesn't explain why they're in packets of mixed *nuts*, or why they come with a *nut* allergy warning.<

Can't answer the first part, but as for the second... I'm deathly allergic to nuts. This includes anything that has touched anything that has touched a nut. So if it has been processed at a facility that also processes products containing nuts, and therefore might contain a nut or nut residue, my eating it could prove fatal. That is why labels contain nut allergy warnings even if the product might not contain any actual nuts.

Several of my friends have similar allergies to peanuts, soy or wheat gluten. It's nothing to due with litigiousness and everything to do with life or death.

A friend of mine had a sticker which read, in the style of the "explicit lyrics" labels -

PARENTAL ADVISORY: WE OWN YOUR CHILDREN

I bought a disposable camera once, which had a sticker on it telling me it was dangerous to put it into the microwave and that I shouldn't do it.