h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

By the way, must be ugly to pronounce the "h" strongly when you are stinking of beer out of the mouth. Ugh!

And in Norway a pint at the pub cost about four pounds!

I hate this business of having to subsidise the navy or health service or whatever. If the tax was lower, I'd drink more and the government would achieve its aim and I'd be happier. Well TGIF then, but that doesn't work either as I've got a glass until 8.30pm by which time most happy hours round here have finished.

Is the use of "glass" when "class" was meant a Freudian gym slip?

Sure is. Slurring the words without benefit of alcohol. Also, not that it's any excuse, a common Cantonese mistake.

Can I order a beer please? (American)
Can I order a beer please? (Canadian)
Carn Oy order ah beier pleuase? (Welsh - you just got to say it right, okay)
Carn Oy order ah beier pleuase? (Irish - yes, I know it's the same as the welsh, you have to say it faster)
Can uy orduh uh buhr pluhse? (Scottish)
Cahn ioy ahder a beeeer please (Australian)

Sorry , that's all I have to offer

In Austria (depending on the regions dialect):
"A Hoibe" ... means something like half-a-liter-from-spoon
"A Kriagl" ... means the same: "Kriagl" is the name of the 1/2l-Glas
You need not to tell you mean beer anyway: no one expects you to order half a liter of wine or brandy...

just to easy pronouncation:
"A " is pronounced like "a" in "half"
"Kriagl": "ia" is pronounced somehow alike "ier" in "wierd"
"Hoibe": "oi" is like "io" in "going" (but without the "ng"), "b" alike "w"

I think we could do with a few more additions to this repertoire as well

Oooh! Thanks very much. Make mine a Becks

My - quite considerable! - experience is that if you hold up the requisite number of fingers, say beer and smile, you'll end up with the required number of beers. I've visited a lot of countries on several continents and it's never failed yet.

You'll also arouse the interest of the locals - unless you're in a tourist bar (best avoided anyway) - which is quite nice most of the time.

In Switzerland: a stanga (3dl), beeta; as grosas, beeta (pint)
But normaly when you try do order in swissgerman or in german the bartender just looks at you an answers in english.

I could show you how to write it in Braille....

In Welsh: 'Your round, boyo!'

One of my friends claims that in Latvia a beer can be ordered by tilting the chin slightly upwards and gently flicking the throat using the middle finger and thumb. Or forefinger. Oh, and its *your* throat you do this to before everyone legs it to Latvia and starts attacking the locals

I presume there is good reason for this and it is true as he has been there and a mutual friends wife is latvian.

At least I think that's it.

I was very *very* drunk you know.....

In Czech :

jedno pivo, prosim ( pron: yehdno peevo prozeem )
if it is two then :

dva piva, prosim......

jedno, dva = 1, 2
pivo = beer
prosim = please


you'll also find that the resulting pint is about the best beer you have ever tasted.

Nurse! More plasma!

In Danish: "En øl, tak."

If you're more polite (early in the evening?), "Jeg vil gerne have en øl, tak"

In both cases you can substitute your favourite brand for "øl" - which is, you might have guessed, the generic Danish word for beer...

In Swahili, if you want to say "I would like one beer, please", it's "Nataka bia moja, tafadhali". That sounds incredibly formal, though; dispense with the frills and just say "bia moja". (Or "bia mbili", if you're ordering for two.) Of course, most people order by brand, and in Kenya you'll probably be drinking Tusker or Pilsner. "Tusker mbili" - "Two Tuskers". They'll serve it at room temperature unless you specify that you want it cold - "baridi". "Tusker mbili, baridi."

After the first round, you don't have to order beer; they'll keep bringing you more until you tell them to stop, which will confuse them - why would you not want another round?

When you receive the beer, you'll sound overly formal if you say "asante" - "thank you" - that's reserved for serious gratitude. Just say "sawa" - "cool", or just nod and grunt.

According to my newly acquired Cantonese phrasebook, beer is "bé jáu"