h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I want to know some rather hoopy things to say when I ask people to leave, at the minute it's "and pick up your p45 on the way out", it used to be "grab your coat" however that got mixed views!!!

Said to good friends, who won't take offence..

'Here's your coat - now B****r O**'

I misunderstood this when I first saw it and thought it meant when people leave their jobs, so I thought I'd tell you anyway what I wrote on the leaving card of the person whose job I now do. She was on maternity leave so I'd been doing the job for 6 months when she decided she wasn't coming back. I wrote 'Good luck (name) thanks for giving me the job.

Lots of people thought it was a bit shocking but others thought it was funny. I just wanted to thank her for not coming back.

"Get out now or I'll tell them all about what realy happen with [insert embarising secret here]! "

"Sling your hook" is a popular one!!!

"Don't let the door hit you on your way out"

"Well, it's been awful: let's not do it again. Lift's out, by the way, but feel free to use the window"

"feel free to use the window"I'll be using that one!

'You're going?'

'Oh good, I heard there was a village somewhere missing its idiot'...

"Go on, get aauut of it, go on, get aauuut of ma pub"!!!

"Go on leave, we need to recover from you" is something I get rather regularly from a very good friend and his wife

Some nicer ones, just to balance up the pointless nastiness posted thusfar:

"Bye!"

"See you later"

"Cheerio"

"Begone to the foul swamp from whence you emerged, and never darken my door again"

"see-ya, wouldn't want to be ya!"

"yes, please go, you are lowering the average IQ in the room by a good 75%"

"Begone to the foul swamp from whence you emerged, you wrench, and never darken my door again" is a quote from Black Books!!!

this posting is just a simple excuse to get another balck books quote in and has nothing at all to do with the thread

ta ta!



"Do you think i should wash my beard?

yes, i think you should wash it, then shave it off, nail it to a frisbee and fling it over a rainbow"

I would like to help you out...

Can you show which way you came in?

F S

Yeah, well I do watch Black Books, and it must have just stuck in my mind. (A bit like the scene where Dylan Moran gets ripped to pieces by zombies in Shaun of the dead).

Things wot I've written in cards as people left the company...

"B*gger off then"
"And what was it you did here?"
"And your name was...?"

"RF

p.s. to people I knew quite well, natch