h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right I'm a guy. I've asked women out. Now I've noticed a trend recently, and I'm beginning to get paranoid. The answers for most of the women I've asked out over the last few years when I've plucked up the courage to ask them out have been that they're still heart broken from a previous relationship, and aren't ready for a new relationship. Now once, maybe twice, okay but this is becoming a regular thing. Is it because I'm 24 and is that some sort of age when women grow up from less mature boyfriends? Should I expect more women to be "ready" in a few years time? Or is this another cunning put down I was previously unaware of? Whats going on?

Let me guess - you live in England?


az

Yep... why? Is there something different about English women (or men)?

Took me about a year to get over my ex even though I was the one who left him.

I guess it depends on how much you loved the person and how much they hurt you.

Us women are just as scared of entering into relationships now as you men as to many times we have picked the wrong blokes and got stung - mainly by selfish mummy's boys who just want a replacement mother.

I know there are some good guys about like women, but they are hard to find.

My advice to you is to stop trying so hard and I bet you will find a nice woman and you just slip into a relationship.

(took me a while to meet my now partner - he's not perfect but I love him loads)

You're asking the wrong women out
It's sounds like an excuse to me, one which i have used myself when not wanting to be direct and say 'not a chance mate'

You're probably right. Though not trying hard isn't easy... I think its something I'm really only just getting my head around, if that makes sense. I don't know... there should be some flippin step by step guide book

It does just seem that every single woman I've met is getting over someone, or has just got involved in a relationship thats going to last years... I think its called paranoia. Or maybe I just need the chronometer in my head fixed...

"You're asking the wrong women out"

Is there a place were I can find the right ones?

Yes I agree, you seem to be bumping into the broken hearted ones.

Psst try Make Friends Online they are really good thats where I met my partner hehehe

There no easy way to get your head around what women want or expect....we are a complicated species
The best advice i can give (which is'nt much ) Ask out the women that obviously fancy you. How will you know? Simple really, she will hang off your every word, laugh at your jokes even if they're not funny and always be smiling when you're around. I expect some more ladies will be along soon to give you a few more tips
Good luck

Traveller in Time with a perfect handbook
"Well, it is empty, as it should be. Try not to hard, do not push it, only get involved with a lady if you like eachother mutually.

The only signal that really means you have to ask is when you both dare not to ask each other, as it could spoil the already good relation you have at that moment. "

Venus said >she will hang off your every word, laugh at your jokes even if they're not funny and always be smiling when you're around<

Yup, works for me.

My advice, don't sweat it, when it happens it will drop a 2 tonne weight on your head Enjoy trying*.


Contrary to popular belief, even if you look like a bag of spanners, there is (usually) someone out there for you.

*runs back in and sticks the second * before 'Contrary'*






Oh, for and 'edit' button!

Yes, it is probably just an excuse. Perhaps you go for the wrong class of women.

This might sound like a daft question, but have you tried getting to know them first? Maybe it's just me but I'd rather be friends than be in a relationship just because everyone else is in one. That however might be just down to the mindset I've entered due to being single for 7 1/2 years.

I agree with Croz, the majority of my friends, both real life and online, are female. For those who think it's not possible for a man and woman to be close without it being a "relationship" then I would say you're looking at friendship in the wrong way to start with. I do think women find it more difficult at times to establish trust again when a relationship goes wrong especially if it happens more than once.
By the same token I tend to be more cautious as well, once bitten, twice shy has been my motto for years.

ST, if you ask around, you'll find that it's another anomaly of hootoo. Typically the men will have a vast preponderance of female friends. And vice versa. That has been discussed on and off line for ages.

As to the rest, I agree that being a friend first is often the best route. No expectations, fewer affectations, as you begin to know each other. Atleast for me, that is how I met Mrs. Nick #2. And we will 'celebrate' our 20th anniversary in the UK region, visiting hootoo friends.

Hi Terran, just to let you know that if you're only 24 don't worry about it!! A woman is ready to move on when she finds someone who is worth moving on to. That sounds cruel actually, but it's not meant to be!

I'm a 29 year old woman, I've been single for over a year, I'm perfectly happy, and I've stopped looking for the right bloke for now, he'll turn up when he wants to!!

I put more confidence in fantastic friends who will be around for a long time, rather than a gorgeous bloke who may think I'm amazing for a day, but doesn't want anything more.

Basically what I'm trying to say, in a VERY long-winded way, is , the "lovely one" will come along for you, just don't try to rush anything, it never works!! (I speak from experience!! )

Look after yourself Terran,

L x

Lots of great advice, I actually expected this to disappear off the page without a post, so thanks everyone. Not panicing is great advice though! I can't really agree with the friends advice. Don't get me wrong I think that you do whatever works for you, but as much as I want friends, I want a relationship. Not too long ago I would have agreed with you, but I've come to the conclusion that if a relationship becomes platonic it takes a cold day in hell for it to become something more. I think relationships take time, and I would be willing to wait a long time for that relationship - I used to be a very patient person! But I think that it is important to make it clear that you do actually want a relationship.

This comes from making the (what I perceive as a) mistake in accepting friendship when someone had turned me down, with hopes that it may become something more. Or even starting out as friends with the hope of something more.

In many ways I'm an old fashioned person, in that I do want a family... though I don't know if its a good idea to tell someone that, after a particularly emotionally painful episode a little while ago...

I guess only I can sort this out. And the only way I seem to know how to do things is the excrutiatingly hard way... and I guess thats how I'll have to figure things out in the end...

Oh, bless you, I want to give you a !! That's not patronising, even though it might sound that way!!

You sound like a lovely guy who should be with someone wonderful, so, please , don't settle for anyone less than you rightly deserve!! I made that serious mistake, and learnt from that particular episode in my life!

Women are strange creatures, I should know, I am one!!

However much you try to understand us you won't, so just go with the flow, keep treating special women in your life with , , and s, and I promise you the right one will turn up!! Probably in the most unexpected place!!

Just don't give up on women, some of us are lovely, really!!

L x