h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm rapidly becoming aware of having less than 12 weeks left of life as a single man. At 38 (or 39, as I will be, when the day comes) it's a whole new experience for me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to it tremendously, but I'm sure you'll understand that occasionally I'm guilty of looking back at the 'old days' and wondering what I *really* should have done as a single man, when the opportunity to be totally selfish and irresponsible was still there.

Tonight I sit with my Hamlet cigar, a and my comfortable slippers, looking fondly toward to a life of clean socks, proper meals and regular sex. It couldn't get more perfect!

But should I buy that quad-bike? Hmm...

All suggestions of things I should achieve in less than 3 months gratefully received.

Have you got any single mates left? If so, get 'em together and go off on a JBO somewhere.

Hmm...

If your wife-to-be, for whatever irrational reason she may put forth, has a dislike of prawn, then look at as much prawn as you can get our hands on over the next 12 weeks.

Here's some to start you off... http://www.dram.org/rd/artwork/prawn.jpg

RF

Perhaps avoid a quad bike as was it not a famous rock star who nearly died on one a couple of years ago when ho broke his back/neck?

You might be thinking of Rik Mayall.

In the mean time, if any of your close friends are single, it might be a good time to try and get them stitched up, so thye have someone to keep them in line at the wedding and so that you can do fun coupley things together, rather than them just being someone you feel vaguely responsible for. Any forien travel plans you have evr had might be good, like, say, South America or the Middle East, or Glasgow. Anywhere, really, a bit of a trek round the country even, the last chance you'll have to wake up in a strange place with nobody but yourself to consider when you decide to stay in bed until one o'clock, that's something to savour. Do you like sport? Watch as much of that as you can, you'll never see it again.

If I think of anything else I'll let you know.

Good luck.

SS, What, you mean I've got to be sensible three months earlier than planned? Oh, dear...

OK, no quad-bike, what about those curved y sticks you attach to your legs and go ing down the street on? Can I get some of those, instead?

Ben, I don't mind a bit of snooker and watching the odd game of bowls. (Yeah, I know, I know...)

But I'm really wondering if I should do something totally mad and 'rad, man', before I lose the chance.

Visit a goat farm? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm

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BoB knows who you're marrying mate, but I aint washing none of your smelly socks nor slaving in the kitchen or bedroom! Nor am I marrying a man in slippers! May have to rethink this marriage lark..............

Why don't you go climb Mount Everest or summat and get yourself out from under my feet while I'm faffing about with flouncy frocks and ribbons?

P.S. 12 weeks? You've got 10 and a half buddy, so get climbing now or you'll not be back in time!

RF, I love that prawn!

Hmm... The goat's looking surprisingly attractive at this moment in time!

Does anyone want to warn him first? Give him a sporting chance and all that...


Or shall we just let loose with pre-marital wrath now?

Ach! let the poor chap enjoy himself ..the chances are he will probably day dream and then do absolutely nothing about it.

Remember 'Bleat' really means 'Yes'!

Psst Deakie
I think you should have a ceremonial burning of the slippers now....just to make sure he don't turn up in them on the big day