h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The idea of this thread is to name a person, occupation, nationality and then to list the features of the stereotype. The idea is to produce more of a fun caricature and to parody people's perceptions of others than to create an accurate picture. I'm hoping it doesn't get unPC but it should be fun.

For example, the stereotypical football manager would have a sheepskin jacket, a big cigar, and cups of tea thrown at half time accompanied by *!$!*!.

The subject matter could be changed every 5,10 or 20 posts.

Starting with the Australians:

Wears a corked hat.

Gets a bit bitter when beaten at Rugby.

Begins every sentence with "Strewth mate!"

Throw prawns onto barbies at the slightest provocation.

Is irritatingly good at cricket

Regularly eats roadkill, washed down with a slab of dodgy lager.

sprout

Call women 'Sheila' and chickens 'chucks'

Look like Paul Hogon and Rolf Harris.

Like ABBA.

...wears shorts all the time...

Thinks meat pie and mushy peas is an edible meal

B

Only knows of 2 seasons : Football (Aussie rules) and Cricket

Instructs football linesmen to make ridiculously exaggerated arm gestures.

B

thinks sex comes between 5 and 7

This post has been removed.

*badumtish*

They appear in TV soaps, go on to have one or two top 10 singles, dropp off the face of the planet then reappear a few years later in a panto.

"Thinks meat pie and mushy peas is an edible meal"

Nothing wrong with that, but for some reason the Ozzies leave out the chips, which is bizarre. Oh, and meat pie: Hollands of Rochdale for preference! (I doubt this aspect of northern English cuisine has got that far into the Southern hemisphere, though. I mean, you're hard put to find Hollnds pies anywhere further South than Stoke!)

And Australians do every spoken sentence in a rising cadence that sounds as if it's a question?

and have you noticed (and this is not an Ozzie peculiarity)that the further away from home they get, the more Australian they become, especially en masse?

Hollands, the purveyors of meat pies are based in Haslingden, which is nearer to Rawtenstall than Rochdale. Have to agree with you about Hollands pies south of Stoke, ask for a meat pie and you're likely to end up with steak and kidney (although you can find the odd meat and potato one every now and then)

Thanks - I knew they were in that general region but couldn't exactly recall wherabouts, so used Rochdale as a general identifer (if nothing else, even the least geographically clued up non-Northerners will recognise Rochdale as being in Lancashire where they might not pick up on Haslingden)

Australians and music:- seventies prog-rock groups like Supertramp and the Little River Band, eighties irritations who should have stayed in soap opera, a nineties irritation who should have stayed in soap opera, some twonker who didn't have the sense to realise Paula Yates was bad news, topped himself in a hotel room, a 2000's irritation who should have stayed in soap opera, that bloke out of soap opera who now plays the lead in "Amazing Technicolour Raincoat" and sued a magazine into extinction for calling him gay (What was that Python sketch about the Bruces... Faculty Rules One, Three, Five, Seven and Nine....)