h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Eat leeks, shout Oggy Oggy Oggy a lot.
Death(or a wet weekend in Rhyl) to Anne Robinson

Isn't it time we picked on... The Swiss?

Their cheese is full of holes.
They can't be bothered to invent their own language.

Shoot arrows at their children

Ban airlines, tell no-one and then say "I told you so" when they crash elsewhere.... or is that a little bit to current and political for this thread... feel free to yikes if necessary.

Mel

looks fine to me


they all have special pocket knives

very keen on banking,

make very nice rolls

Zurich is full of gnomes.

Actually, a friend of mine just spent Noo Year there, and says that in reality it's full of sex shops

Consists entirely of snow-covered mountains, with the odd lake or too.

Their finest soldiers protect the Pope but the country is full of Protestants.

The trains run to precision timetables.

Breakfast costs about 20 dollar/euros

Foisted cuckoo clocks on an unsuspecting world.

Spend their time eating fondues and yodeling

Don't have a navy.

Y.

Are unbearably smug about their non-participation in a war for centuries.

Have 2 fully automatic machine guns per head of population and until the other year no one had ever used them in a mass murder

By law the men have to pee sitting down at night.

The water out of the taps is like evian .

They all have access to a nuclear bunker so are probably going to outlive the rest of europe in the event of a nuclear war - it'll be full of cockroaches and the Swiss.

At least there'll be cocroaches

Will allow any passing nazi, gangster or drug smuggler to open a secret bank account.

It's high time that students had a go!


Fridge interior is unintentionally green.

Likely to quote Sartre and Tinky Winky in the same sentence.

Favourite bank is 'mum and dad'.

Don't look out of the window in the morning (leaves them nothing to do in the afternoon).

Would complain more about the top up fees if they didn't have to get out of bed to do so

Mel