h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the pub at lunchtime today, I was told the most outrageously unbelieveable thing, but it's supposed to be true.

If you put a piece of raw liver near a glass of milk, after 24 hours the liver will have moved towards the milk. Can you believe it? Is it really true? Does anyone know?

Surely you should know better, liver is (of course) quite inanimate and is entirely incabable of self-locomotion. Making your public house proposition highly preposterous and improbable. This is, however a widely held misconception amongst certain people. It is, in fact, the milk that is moving towards the liver.

Milk is actually highly magnetic when placed in a glass container. However, it usually takes an object high in complex organic iron compounds to give this a noticable effect. The presence of these molecules moves the valence electrons of the molecules in the milk into a highly excited state causing them to emit photons (try putting the milk under an object which is responsive to ultra-violet lightinside a partial vacuum chamber, and you will note that the object will emit a faint glow.

This excited state creates highly unstable ions of strontium-91 which then begin generate a highly charged electro-magnetic field which increase pressure on the interior surface of the glass moving it approximately 3.156277654x10e-12 millimeters per decaliter of liver towards the liver's center of gravity (mitigated of course by the friction coefficient of the table or other surface).

Unfortunately in order to observe the Liver-Milk Magneto-Kinetic Phenomena you will need to have some sort of highly precise optical measuring device within the confines of a geologically stabilized environment.

Either that, or quite a lot of liver and milk.

Oh my!

you guys kill me.
i bet the memory of this will keep me going for at least a hundred mini inventions.
LMAO
ROFWL
cant breath.

Ever heard of tongue in cheek?

Tongue in cheek? Liver in milk?
Next y'll be talking bout dat peasant-under-class stuff.
What ever happened to a burger and fries wit dat?

~jwf~

a correspondance in Fortean Times came out roughly on the side of: yes, liver likes milk. I can find it out if necessary.

I'd love to test it but I don't like liver and have troughed all the milk.

cant stand the idea of eating any bodily organ, i have to force myself to eat meat and veg though to survive.

man Fielix where the hell do you get all that stuff?! WOW!
and eating liver is just GROSS!! *gag* rather eat my own skin
cheers
ford

quote post 1: >>>If you put a piece of raw liver near a glass of milk, after 24 hours the liver will have moved towards the milk.<<<


quote post 2: >>>It is, in fact, the milk that is moving towards the liver.<<<


Question: does the milk jump out of the glass onto the liver, or does the milk move the glass towards the liver?

good question!
or does the milk seep through the glass?... twiight zone!
cheers
ford

Does this attraction only work within 24 hrs if the liver is beef and the milk is of the cow variety?

I wonder if the attraction takes longer if either the milk or the liver comes from a different sort of animal. Perhaps there's more embarrassed standing about if the milk comes from a goat, for example.

haha.... i wonder if the udder of a cow moves towards its liver?... hehe
cheers
ford

Is this why as women get older, their...no, no, NO! Stop!

RF

~jwf~

It could explain why pregnat ladies aren't known for being attracted to drunks.

hehe
nice!
cheers
ford

did you know that milk contains something called IGF1, a growth hormone factor that can cause cancer? its proven.

also american milk is banned in europe becuase they play with it too much. God Screw america.

liver-cancer?

churchhills ghost can hiss my @$$!!! USA! USA!USA!