h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is Jesus really coming back? And if so, what would he think?

Why should he? If he was going to come back 2000 years from his birth
then he should have come a few years ago.

Eris, on the other hand, is already here. All Hail Discordia!

Not to put too fine a point on it: BUGGER THE MILLENNIUM!!!!

As a software engineer I've had 'The Millennium Bug' for the last three years or so until I'm sick of it. And I'm sick of all the other Millennium crap that's going around. Especially all the year 2000 souvenirs. O.K., so we're rapidly nearing the year 2000, so the first digit of the year changes from 1 to 2. SO WHAT!!! The year 2000 is NOT the start of the new millennium, unless you regularly start counting at 0 (which software engineers do, but most normal people don't). The first year of the first millennium was AD 1, not AD 0, because the monk who was ordered to work out the dating system did not know about the number 0. So the new millennium doesn't start until 2001!!!

And I've just used the 'M' word, which I'm sick of, 6 times in this response. Consider me to have stormed off in a huff!!!

Well, it's nice to see that you can spell 'millennium,' anyway. I'm a little bit bored so I decided to disagree with you even though I'm sure you've heard this point of view before...

Sure, there was no year 0 so the next millennium starts 2000 years from the year 1AD, which is the year 2001. But the year 2000 is 2000 years since the year 1BC. Some time around 1994 was 2000 years since the birth of Jesus Christ. 1984 was 2000 years since 17BC (or something... don't take any notice of my bad arithmetic, two years of university mathematics has left me able to perform strange and sometimes unknown operations on Greek letters but not add numbers.) My point is, it's always 2000 years since something... and what's so special about 2001 being 2000 years since the year 1AD? Nothing, really. But there is something special about the year 2000... not because of what it's 2000 years since but because it *is* 2000... basically, it has a nice name, which is more interesting than being a nice number of years since some arbitrary other year. I'd much rather give a child a nice name than take some other word, encode it using a nice name as the key, and give my child the encoded moniker. Mind you, some of my nieces and nephews have names which sound like they're encoded in just such a way, but the names are still pretty cool.

Anyway, I seem to be rambling too much so I think I'll go and try to draw a very simple picture of a sunrise which has nothing to do with millennia.

Actually, I've always understood that Christ was born in 4 B.C., so yes, we have already missed the 2000th anniversary of his birth. But people have been talking about A.D. 2000 as the new (insert m-word) because it is 2000 years since his birth, which it isn't because, as I said, there was no year 0. There has actually been a mock-news program on British television called 'Bethlehem: Year Zero' which totally misses this point.

O.K., so 2000 is the first 4-digit year that starts with a 2 instead of a 1. And it is 1000 years since the last initial digit change, so I suppose it is a new (insert m-word) in that sense. But it is NOT the start of the third (insert m-word) A.D., unless the first one only had 999 years, which is silly!

(Excuse the use of 'm-word', but I am so heartily sick of the subject that I am NOT going to type m!ll@!*m )

Actually, every year - in fact, every moment* - is the end of a m*ll*nn*-m (the one which began 1000 years before that moment) and the start of a new one. So we could say that a new m*ll*nn*-m begins at the start of the year 2000... and the one before that started at 1000AD and before that 1BC.

Since I'm a mad acronymist, I may as well mention a few acronyms, the first by my friend Tony McCoy O'Grady and the second by me. Please excuse my use of the m-word in capitals.

Acronym: MILLENNIUM
Expansion: Mixup Is Looking Likely - Each Notational Nitwit Is Ultimately Mistaken!
Credit: Tony McCoy O'Grady, insisting that the new millennium - a period of 1000 years - will not begin on New Year's Day 2000, rather will it be on New Year's Day 2001!
Acronym: MILLENNIUM (2)
Expansion: My, It's Long! Lavish Empires Newlyformed & Neutralised In Uno Millennium.
Credit: Angela Brett

*Well, maybe not every moment... it might be difficult to decide exactly when the m*ll*nn*-m which will end on February 29th, 2000 began since 1000 was not a leap year.

blah blah blah yankity shmankity

This is probably the sanest response in this conversation!

Well, I don't actually care whats going to happen tomorrow, I'm just going to go to bed and if there's a giant bug devouring my home town....I'll be dreaming about exams (or supermarkets).

Speaking as one who is currently being paid vast quantities of money to listen to fantastic live music whilst browsing the guide when I should be hunting the bug from 10pm NYE to 7am NYD, I can say quite happily that I can't give a monkeys danglers about the millennium, but I am quite looking forward to playing with the new CD players and mixings desk that it's just bought me.

just to prove the millennium bug doesnt exist im typing this as the clock strikes midnight. See no problem..dkrzbz ggaD skvkdfeoowjtvgsodgoovzogkgokaeorkgodogzmbvzmfbaem hgl lm bldzbmdzfvcz mdahhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wow, you only just got to y2k? It's weird actually... even though my computer is safe from the y2k bug, and even though it was 1p.m. NZDT at the time and my computer's clock said a few minutes after that, my computer froze at the stroke of midnight GMT... I guess it just didn't want to feel left out.

Happy New Day... It started exactly 24 hours (give or take a fraction of a second) after the one before it and approximately 24 hours before the one after it. My computer clock didn't flinch, my screen didn't go blank, my programs didn't leap out of the hard drive and start devouring my desk like so many termites. The lights remained on, I got a phone call at 0010 hours 1/1/2000, and my beer didn't go flat (or it wouldn't have, had I had some). The roast pork and saur kraut tasted quite good, the wolves outdoors continued to howl, and the moon didn't fall from the sky.

I did not watch the ball on Times Square in NYC drop (I have no TV), but I have it on good authority that it did not speed from its perch and splatter the 'gazillion' people over-crowding a completely sold-out party below, the "Happy New Year 2000" lights came on just fine, and even New York City didn't suffer a power outage (in itself a small miracle).

Yesterday was Friday in my part of the world. Today is Saturday. Tomorrow, as far as I know, will be Sunday. Members of my family worked yesterday, they'll work today, and they'll work tomorrow. The sun will rise, though it may not be seen, the day will continue until midnight, when a new one will begin.

Millennium? Isn't that a show that used to be on FOX network?

'Nonnie

How would you know about something on FOX network? You have no TV!

I have no tv -now- ... I -used- to have a tv. Millennium could -still- be on, for all I know, and I'd know if I still had a tv.

The BBC say that less than 10% of Y2K related problems will hit in the first two weeks of January..... just 'cause we've made it this far doesn't mean the whole world ain't gonna crash
visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_585000/585013.stm
or http://gartner11.gartnerweb.com/
I think.
Joanna

Well my mobile and everybody else's around me were unable to get a network connection for the first two hours of the Millennium. So everyone who was trying to locate their friends in the frenzy of people that was the crowd watching the fireworks had to revert to old fashioned methods like shouting and smoke signals.

The latter admittedly didn't work too well because of all the gunpowder trails. And trying to shout in a crowd of 40000 or so which was spread around the marina didn't work too well either. At least the champagne was chilled when we got home.

Welcome, one and all, to the Millenium of Marketing! Yes, forget about violence, politics and diplomacy, for they are obsolete in our new Golden Age! Marketing can manipulate individuals, institutions and nations with a speed and ease never before possible! If you don't believe me, just think about all those who've bought into this millenium stuff over the last two years or so.

If Humanity was half as evolved as it thinks it is, everyone would see this manipulative shit for what it really is.

Oh, well said that researcher! Here! Here!

My immediate family all watched Channel 4's "Eurotrash" which gave an amazing demonstration of a method for projecting Ping-Pong balls apart from being totally (c)rude and camp. Graham Norton's programme was also camp and fun too. It sort of made all the rubbish I've had to put up with regarding "the non-event" worth-while.

Bah! Humbug!

If Jesus *had* shown up at one of the New Year's Eve parties, he probably would've been arrested. It would've sounded like this:
Police officer: Come with me, sir.
Christ: No, really, I'm Jesus!
Police officer: Got any ID on ya?
Christ: I don't need any identification, I'm the Son of God!
Police officer: Get in the car, sir. Watch your head.
Christ: You can't arrest me! I'm--
Police officer: Sure you are. Don't make me spray you with Mace.
Christ: You don't understand!
Police officer:
Christ: Arrrgh! My Eyes!
Police officer:
Christ: Toldja so.
Police officer: (sizzle)
Sorry if this offended anybody.