h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/3054680.stm
we read that Roger Federer was today presented with a cow by the organisers at the Swiss Open.
The article elaborates not at all.
Does anyone, perhaps a Swiss researcher or die-hard tennis fan, know why the tournament organisers felt the need to give Mr Federer a cow? Is there a precedent of bovine gift-giving at other tournaments? Is this intended as a token, a pet, or as, shall we say, a culinary gift? If a pet, has any investigation been made into Mr Federer's suitability to keep a pet mammal of this size and appetite?

Any insight welcomed.
Remember - a cow is for life, not just for the duration of a tennis tournament.

The Guardian is a little more informative:

http://sport.guardian.co.uk/tennis/story/0,10069,994400,00.html

I've got to say that it's really quite amusing in my opinion. Only in Switzerland...

I cant read the link, can someone explain why he was given a cow...

This post has been removed.

Wierd as f*ck...

As someone commented to me this morning, Henman must be gutted.

I've been trying to imagine what's going through Federer's mind: "Oh my god, first I win Wimbledon and now I've got a cow! Life gets better and better!"

He's probably on a high from his win so everything has a rosy glow about it. In a few months time he'll probably think 'wtf?'

Thanks for that Arch - That's quite, quite mad.
We'll know who to blame if he starts to grow a stomach and never wins anything again. I'm quite pleased it doesn't have to be re-homed - the rigourous travelling demands of the professional tennis circuit would doubtless prove detrimental to the health of most large ruminants. And, his Dad has a wonderful excuse not to attend wimbledon next year... (hands up if you got that?)

Is this a historical honour, and does it come with anything else, do we think? Freedom of the city of Gstaad or something, or perhaps the right to butcher a bull on the king's birthday?

I assume stud fees would not be a problem for a man of Federer's wealth - he might end up with a nice little herd of his own, each named after old tennis pros he admires and each carrying the traditional bell.

All in all I think this is a wonderful story - Wimbledon should begin to give out Aberdeen Anguses (Angii?) to the winner, while the US Open should award a bison, and the Australian one of their unique antipodean mammals. A platypus, say.

Don`t have a cow man!

Well,

Cows are grazers and keep grass short.

Roger could use it to keep his grass courts good enough to play on all year round.

The manure could be used as a fertilizer as well.

Aw, Arch's most useful but legally questionable verbatim paste of the whole Guardian article has been moderated into nowt.

Courtesy of http://www.expage.com/page/mizgorillascowpage
I learn that the Sanskrit word for "War" translates as "Desire for more cows".
Now, it is demonstrably true that over 70% of surprising facts found on the net are in fact bull, but given Mr Federer's recent exploits, do we perhaps find some corroboration in the old chestnut that sport is war in microcosm?

Or perhaps not.
Why do they put bells on cows? Is it to prevent them hunting birds?

the annanove article helpfully tells us that he had to name said cow, Juliette I believe, and in doing so resisted the calls of the crowd to name it Martina. Note that is what it said, not my poor attempt at a joke.
He now has to decide if he wishes to take it with him or leave it with the local farmers who will ensure they send him cheese from the cows milk as and when. The only condition is, apparently, that he learns to milk the cow himself.
Quite what happens if he doesn;t do this I dread to think!

I would think it would get quite uncomfortable for the cow....

Don't Swiss cows wear bells so if they wander off they can be found easier? That's an old school memory so forgive me if I'm wrong.

I was hoping for some input by a Swiss researcher here but they are probably being sensible and giving this thread a wide berth, they must have *herd* enough jokes about cows to last them a lifetime

I hope the cow comes supplied with its own vet, otherwise Federer is going to have to buy some really long glovesand I hope he remembers to remove his watch

Free milk, cream & cheese for the lifetime of the cow

Sorry my post was removed guys, I did copy & paste, naughty but I feel really sorry for you guys who can't read outside links.



*hopes and prays one of my questions on the radio quiz this morning is "What did the Swiss Government award Roger Federer as a thank-you for being the first Swiss to win a grand slam tournament?"

I want a cow now...

Gruezi Wohl!

Well I've asked the Swiss bloke in my office for his take on the matter, and his reply was that "maybe he (Federer) likes cows". Not horrendously helpful.

In the free paper I read in the bus in the way to work Federer is described as "der aktualle Wilhelm Tell des Schweizer Sports" (the real William Tell of Swiss sport), so I guess he is lucky they didn't give him a bow and a small child with an apple on his head.

And as someone else said to me earlier, Only in Switzerland.

but no

Bob I'll ask my contact in the Swiss Govt. if they can supply you with a cow, but I reckon you'd have to do something monumentally great for the country first.

Why not open a bank account?



*practises yodelling*

I once read somewhere that if you lie down in a field full of cows, they will mooch over and begin to lick you.
Does anyone have evidence to corroborate or disprove this? Perhaps someone out there has tried it, or knows someone who tried it? Perhaps someone has a late relative who was killed in a lying-down-in-a-field-full-of-cows accident? Perhaps someone's PC/office/desk is close to a field of cows and wouldn't mind blogging an experiment for us?
Come on - let's have your lying-down-in-a-field-full-of-cows anecdotes...

Oh so many. Where to begin?

The moment has probably passed, but the article also mentioned an offer from Alex Correja who has 'actually done the deed in Gstaad. "I'll take him up to the mountains and show him how it's done"' Oo-er missus...

[surrendermonkey: - nearest I can get to a hands up]

rt

*Eagerly awaits a cow from AGB's contact*


I can shoot an apple off a young child's head if they want?