h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This may seem like a bit of silliness for the sake of silliness, but I'm completely serious here: why do men have nipples? Appendix notwithstanding, the human body is a remarkably efficient machine with little to nothing in terms of wasted space. Why nipples for people who aren't likely to start lactating anytime soon?

A question never to be answered...

Actually it's not all that difficult.

We all start out the same. The gender doesn't kick in til we're well on the way to developing. Once that happens, certain parts of our already-sketched out form begin to develop according to the blueprints for that gender. I'd go into explaining the differences/similarities in the development of the genetalia, but I'm afraid that would be a bit too graphic for a mixed audience. (Mixed as in youngsters about and parents who'd rather I let them do the explaining. )

They may exist to help us check that our vests are on straight,
or be present as a safety feature--to warn us how far out from the beach we can safely wade.

Obviously you gents are .. erm.. haven't met.. erm... would.. uhm... Never mind.

I would, and I have.

How is it that you're always the one who winds up saying the things that make everyone blush? Not that i'm complaining....

Actually, in some cultures men do feed the babies

      o      o       o      o
° ° ° °

If you consider that people used to be primarily nomadic, then men having nipples is a very sensible idea. Obviously the woman couldn't continually administer to the baby, and - say in crossing a gorge or something with a hungry, noisy child - the man would use his nipple as a form of dummy.

Actually, there are quite a lot of useless bits in the human body. Anything we no longer need, we still have unless it's actually an evolutionary disadvantage to hang on to it.

Actually, they're not completely useless. For example, all nipples regardless of gender are excellent indicators of the cold. And for people with pierced ones they provide a useful spot to secure one's keys.

As though we need extra cold indicators....

And as for the keys, thank you so much for putting that thought in my head. Ow.

Just the kind of thought a Devilish Fiend might require (to implant in the minds of others), one might imagine.

Anyway, I 'd rather have my car keys clamped on my nipples than an 8 lb baby...

Also, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Okay, stop groaning. I never realized the male nipple was so useful! Thanks everyone for setting me straight on that one.

I can't believe that people are stupid enogh to question the "purpose" of male nipples. Isn't it obvious?!

No, it's really not. Indulge my stupidity, please?

Errrrrr....*ahem*.....

Although one could hardly say they were _designed_ for that. It's more of a very fortunate side effect.

I like that one... so you're saying that basically men are dummy's?!!!

Moi?? *adjusts halo* ... I'm innocent! Honest!

As my husband isn't very tickle-ish, the nipples are one of the few places I can go for and get any kind of reaction, so I'm glad he's got them!