h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not so much ignored but totally blanked out

Just been to the shop to buy the vital things - fags and cat food - and i was queueing (next to be served) when a woman with a pram struggled to get through the door. This was less than 5 foot from the till, and everybody watched her struggle, so i left the queue to hold the door open for her and when i went back to the queue, everyone had just moved up and i had to go to the end again. They had all watched me do it, they knew i wasnt going to get a forgotten item and i didnt have a basket full of stuff. Mean mean mean world.

totally rude s i thought.

Thanks Kelli

Sounds like we've got a lot of potential SHADOW members here!

That, making suggestions in a committee & being ignored, then when someone else makes the same suggestion it's hailed as wonderful, been there, done that, lots of times.
I'm the one hovering in the shop trying in vain to catch the assistant's eye.

I'm also definitely inaudible sometimes - you know, you having a conversation & the other person completely ignores what you've said.........

Then there are those postings that seem to get lost in amidst a thread......

Sir Mort, comfort yourself with feelings of superiority, that you helped & they didn't

Also quite invisible. If only I was female I'd get served quicker at the bar not through having a loud voice but because I know the thumbs trick.

Thumbs trick?

I am a lass, and often get ignored at the bar, Zantic will confirm how I often give up, and somebody else the money to go and get served!

My ex was very good at listening to my half of a discussion, then completly ignoring me. Mind you, that was one reason why he is an ex!

I have a lot less problems now, I do think to an extent, it is a bit of a cycle, you feel undervalued, so shrink into the background, so you are less in the 'public' eye, so you get less input, so you feel less valued.

The thumbs trick according to some very good girl friends of mine involves sticking your left thumb in your right armpit, the right thumb in the left, and then pushing in to give your cleavage a boost, whilst leaning over the bar. That way you get noticed at the bar better.

I've tried this myself but it doesn't work for me for some reason

Moving right along here....



I find that I tend to be invisible when I'm driving. Better make that the *car* seems to be invisible. How can people ignore a bright red car?

Nearly been hit many, many times...




Back to the original discussion, it can be difficult to hear people who don't project their voices, and therefore if you talk too softly, it's not necessarily that people are ignoring you - sometimes they just can't hear you.

But yes, I've been ignored as the next person in the line at the grocery store checkout, ignored when I was speaking, looked over, pushed out of the way....

Things are better since I got a bit of a better attitude, although if I'm having a down day, we go back to invisibility.

If you don't project an aura of *some* importance, then you will be overlooked by most people. Then the ones who ooze charisma are the ones who get the attention.

So my advice is to decide that instead of expecting to be ignored (because it's happened so often that you've come to expect it), hold your head up high, beam self confidence (even if it's fake the first few hundred times), and project your voice.

It's not a matter of *demanding* attention - it's a matter of *commanding* attention.

Oh, and if you're ignored "at the bar", wave your money about so that they can see you need to be served. They may not have noticed *you*, but they'll notice that money and that's their cue to wait on you. I find this works well at farmer's markets around here, too.

Trouble is I'm a bit short for that!

*ahem*

I seem to have been ignored...



Was my post invisible?

















Just kidding!

Sorry bout that simulpost!

I do wave my money about at the bar, but it doesn't work. It's mainly one or two pubs I have trouble with, other bars I can be fine!

I may try the thumbs trick the next time I'm at the bar.Mind giving the barman whiplash might not be the most desirable way of getting attention.

Incog.

Lady Scott, if you want to be invisible on the roads try riding a motorbike...

I do attest and aver that Toc has been known to be the only person standing at a bar for twenty minute without the barpeeps noticing. Personally I found it quite funny (if I remember correctly she got served eventually after a nice man came in and, when about to be served, said I think this lady is first!)

Not really funny fromn the outside, but what are best freind if you cannot laugh at them? for Toc

I never feel invisible. I feel that I project my personality outwards to a distance of about 15 feet in all directions, and that people look at me as I pass. It helps to have a strong voice, strong opinions and total insensitivity to what other people are feeling.

But when I'm in my car, I often feel that people don't notice me. Pedestrians step out in front of me as if I was not there, cars cut across me, with a look of horror on the driver's face as he suddenly sees me.

Well, I was in a queue of invisible people the other day, bus dirver with only 6 passengers and not headed toward the depot or anything gazed over moronically at the bus stop with several poeple waving him down but continued on his merry way.

Anyway, yes, sometimes I too feel a touch on the invisible side. In the pub or whatever, group of us in an inclusive circle and a converstaion going on, have a good point to make, try and make it and get talked over by three people and when the conversation lulls the time is passed. It's also annoying when after this I get told off by girlfriend for not saying anything and being boring! I wasn't given the chance Also get that meeting thing occasionally aswell where commments or suggestions get ignored but it's very satisfying when things go wrong, they're annoyed and you give them a 'I tried to tell you but you didn't listen' look. It doesn't happen as often these days but still makes me angry when it does occur

That's just it, Bob, I wouldn't want to be any more invisible on the road than I already am... so no thanks, I won't be riding a motorbike any time soon!

I recall one time in a store waiting around for a salesperson to notice me. The item I was interested in was something that they only had a sample of on display, so I did need their help (this was back in the days before display samples had a packet of tickets that you just took to the checkout to tell them what you wanted). While I was continuing to look at the item, I inadvertently opened something on it that made a loud crash on the display shelf, and one of the salespeople who had just been chatting away with other sales people came running to help. Actually, he was probably just making sure I wasn't destroying anything, but he had been standing with his friends within my sight, so I know he had to be able to see me looking intently at one particular item in his department the whole time. Ever since then, I've found that doing something that makes a loud noise will get attention from salespeople (even if only to make sure you're not breaking something), as will loudly clearing your throat or coughing loudly, if you're standing with the salesperson's back to you.

When it comes to bars suggesting that someone else was there first *will* get you noticed and you *will* be served second...plus you help someone else get served quicker too (try to point out an invisible person).

As for getting attention in shops knocking things over works well (those big piles of printer paper in pc world are my favourites...or a bundle of cd cases).

Alternatively doing somethign unexpected works too...I've been known to sit down on the floor in the middle of a shop...after about 10 seconds someone wil be over to chuck you out/help you and you can ask them your question

Knowing the bar staff is always good too, though I'm sure it eventually takes it's toll on the liver to be able to get to this stage consistantly

True, but I find the key to bars is eye contact. Even if you are only recently up at a busy bar, make eye contact, and often even if you dont get served before others who have been waiting longer, they'll say something like 'I'll be with you next' enabling you to q-jump (selfish I know, but I cant stand waiting at bars...)

Of course, Ill always let a pretty girl get served first if the barperson comes to me...