h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

some one help me pleez! ive got a new b/f but he gets 'over excited' (he says) lets just say im lucky if i can get all my clothes off and into bed before hes finished? pleez, some one tell me how i can help him?

1. Get him to wear a condom. A good thick one. That'll slow him down.

2. Get him to stimulate you so that you have plenty of fun (ie multiple orgasms) before he even takes his trousers off. That way you won't care if he only takes a few seconds.

3. Billy Connolly's suggestion is for the man to recite the 9 times tables. He says that he once got as far as 81!

4. Lots of practice, so that he is relatively bored by the whole proceedings.

i tried to put a condom on him. he finished before i even got it on. lots of practise is out of the question its a long distance relationship?

also i havent told him theres a problem. im mindful that that would make MORE problems.

A courteous man would masturbate before the date to keep him a little bit calmer during the date and the prelims.

Tell him to think of spinach at the crucial moment. Or turnips.

Sprout

Or use the method of Queen Victoria:
Just lay motionless and think of England

I understood that there was evidence that Queen Victoria rather enjoyed the shagging bit. It was the pregnancy and child birth bit afterwards that she wasn't so keen on.

evidence? surely she didn't mention it?

None of the guys here are admitting they know anything about this problem.

They've probabiliy read it, then headed for thou hills!!!

Well, how could I not turn up in this thread.

A good thick rubber should work wonders. If not, be patient and wait for the second time around - that will definitely take a bit longer.

"Billy Connolly's suggestion is for the man to recite the 9 times tables"

As long as it's not the 23-times table.

"3 23's are...oh, never mind"

B

I think it was Johnathon Ross who said "it takes men 13 hrs to regenerate to their normal sperm count". In my experiance it can 1% of that, if you dry them up (men) for a while, just say "no sex for a month"!!!

"a good thick rubber should work wonders"

What, like a bicycle tyre?

Alternatively, the person afflicted could always try rubbing some of that numbing cream (normally used for stings) on the body part in question?

Might work.

Disclaimer - never take medical advice off the Internet, always consult your GP, blah, blah.

Sprout

Numbing cream?!

D'you know how much that stuff stings?

... Oh, never mind...

B

A hand job before the date is certainly to be recomended. Pulling down (gently!) on a chap's balls will also delay climax.

Very gently!

Pulling down harshly will delay climax too...just for a bit too long

Yes well, I was about to post then thought I'd better add that word

Or it can cause a wailing and a nashing of teeth