h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fortunately he seemed extremely interested in my matchstick construction abilities and offered me a job on the spot.

Unfortunately the spot was only a very small one and I couldn't fit all the models I had brought with me into it. Note to self: must arrange to work from home.

Fortunately it was at that moment when, through the open window I spied the image of Lisanda, walking slowely over the DM's Jag.

Unfortunately, the image of Lisanda was a poster, and was being carried in one hand by a vandal who was climbing all over the Dungeon Master's Jaguar (well, that's what I understand by DM). The Dungeon Master was not very pleased...

Fortunately, and by a strange coincidence, the Dungeon master, and Potssy were one and the same, and I impressed Potssy by helping him/her attack, kill and mince up the vandel with the picture of Lisanda, at which point we hung hte picture on the DM's wall.

Unfortunately, Potsy still did not give me an immediate pay-rise in thanks for helping him.

Fortunately I had earlier embezzled electronically a large number of funds from the companies accounts into my off-shore banking account and was now rich beyond my wildest dreams...

Unfortunately, this meant that I had to be a bit careful about not attracting any notice when I eventually started the job.

Fortunately as I was working from home, nobody noticed me.

Unfortunately, not being noticed meant that my flatmates tripped over me, spilt their tea on me and were generally inconsiderate.

Fortunately, realising i was rich beyond my wildest dreams, which are, pretty wild, ment I could chuck out the flat mates, and hire a personal assistant to pamper me.

Unfortunately, without my flatmates the flat seemed very empty so I headed out to do some shopping.

Fortunately with my new found wealth I was able to avoid Nescos, and headed straight for Marks and Spencers, where I purchased several bags of shopping, and had an interesting conversation with a female shopper regarding the ripeness of bannana's, I wasn't so much shocked by the conversation, but her insesant caressing of my body, and her insistance that we exchange numbers was somewhat disturbing.

Unfortunately I got home to remember that I wrote her number on a banana, the skin of which I had discarded on the way home.

Fortunately, at the moment I was about to slip into dispair at the thought of not having her number, the telephone rang, and I answered it, being more than moderately supprised to find the voice of the girl from the supermarket on teh other end,
"Fredricco, is that you", she asked,
"yes it is I", I replied,
"good, as I' imagined you'd lost my number, you seemed that type of person",
"Not at all" I lied, my heart pounding like the beating of an ancient tribal war drum, and the dazzling expectation rising through my spirit,
"I'll be round in ten minutes" She said, and before I had chance to reply, she had hung up the telephone reciever, and I was left thus, standing with the now dead telephone reciever in my hand, and waiting for her arrival...

Unfortunately, Fredricco was not my name and as the minutes passed, I sadly realised that the door she was by now knocking on was certainly not mine.

Fortunately, it was at that moment my whife returned from her round the world trip, and walked into teh flat, looking astonishidly at the dead body of lemmings decomposing on the ceiling.

Unfortunately she insisted that I clean all the mess up to her satisfaction.

Fortunately the house-staff had returned with her, so I got them to work cleaning up, whilst I relaxed with a lemon.

Unfortunately it was not, as I thought a lemon, but was instead a lime, which took me by supprize such that I immediately fell down the back of the sofa.