h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Rather than the wrong oddity that your parents make it out to be? I ask because from such threads as "What can I do with my life?" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F19585?thread=243110) the general response seems to be that most people don't know what they want to do with their lives, have no focus to work towards, and just seem to muddle along and get on with whatever crosses their path. This is in a marked contrast to the feeling I've always been given by my father, in that there's something wrong with me because I have no plan! I'm interested in many, many things (fads rule!), but nothing enough to say "that's what I want to do for the rest of my life". So at the moment am muddling in seccy job, and am doing OU course in computers because of my more long term interests, computing will make the most money! Is it the norm? Have you always had a plan? If so, why do you think this is so? (i.e. encouragement from parents with interests etc.) Have you found focus? If so, how? Let us learn from your wisdom! Queegle

I have focus.

I just can't focus on that focus.

That, is a very good point, and a whole new problem to surmount!

Q

I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with my life.

I always had a plan, unfortunately life didn't work according to that plan so now I have mini-plans that go something like 'this seems like a good thing to do for the next 5 years, that'll be my career'

Particularly now, as there is no such thing as a job for life anymore, I would say that having a definite plan (and sticking to it) at age 16-18 must be more unusal than not having a plan.

I know that I have to write. That's the easy part. It's just dredging the mind to do it, and trying to LIVE through it that is the difficult part. Most people are turned off by difficult things or they think it is unattainable. Hence why most people have no focus.

I think you'd find that if you asked people, "realistically, what would you like to do with your life, if you could do anything?" and people answered seriously...might be different? Maybe. I'm just lucky that I feel I can sit through the rubbish to get to what I want.

That is, when I have focus. Right now, I'm just whittling away more time on h2g2.

Maybe it's about having a sense of vocation?* Some people feel a stronger calling than others. Sat's calling is to write, mine is, well er, something vague about wanting to right wrongs or fight the side of the underdog...
I'm not sure that having a plan is any more effective than not having one. A friend of mine at school spent months preparing for her Oxbridge entry exam, got through, spent a week at Cambridge then chucked it in to go to art school! And maybe having a plan is actually a substitute for knowing what you want out of life. A "planned" life seems very much oriented towards the materialistic rather than the spiritual, if that isn't too pretentious.

*Me, I'd rather have a sense of vacation!

I think you are wrong to say that other people lack focus because they are afraid of hard work. Asking 'What do you want to be for your whole working life' just isn't a sensible question anymore. Most people want to be happy, and do something they enjoy. Some want to do something that will have some positive benefit to society.

I doubt many people think, at 16, I want to be a credit controller, or a tourist estate manager, or an actuary or whatever - they start with vague notions that they might like to work outdoors, or with people, or they want to write (like you) or whatever and then through a process of elimintation change jobs until they (hopefully) find something they are good at and enjoy.

I was certain I'd be a research scientist in industry, until I got to a point where I found it didn't make me happy - I realised I wanted to work with people. So I went into consultancy, and did that until life made another change for me (redundancy) - I carried on for a while but all the time was thinking I wanted a change of direction. Now I'm teaching. Loving it at the moment, ask me again in 10 years

Another friend of mine who got made redundant when I did changed direction completely and is now a plumber.

In order, the various 'careers' I have wanted to do:

Fighter Pilot - got as far as the aptitude tests at RAF Biggin Hill, failed miserably on the algebra and decided I didn't want to do it if it didn't mean wearing cool sunglasses and pulling 'birds' whilst sun bathing on the wing.

Professional American Football player - won a partial overseas scholarship from two minor colleges in Iowa... scholarship wouldn't even cover the colleges tuition fees, let alone living expenses, and without wealthy parents, had to decline.

Superstar Club DJ - spent thousands on record decks and records, obtained plays in many pubs, one night in a major Bristol club and a one month residency... then I kinda stopped.

Author of Comic Fiction - kind of still fumbling around with this one but have the usual troubles of getting an inordinate number of ideas into any kind of cohesive story, well, anything over a couple of chapters anyway...

My interests have also seen me consider, however briefly, archeologist, space engineer (as in outer space), historian, biologist, physicist, journalist, TV presenter (sports programmes), sports physiologist, sports coach, radio DJ... blah, blah, blah...

And what have I actually done?

Worked in a variety of call-centres, shops, factories etc, etc... I have recently completed evening classes to enable me to seek employment as an AutoCAD operator. Not a dream job by any stretch but with greater earning potential than what I am currently doing...

Sometimes, as in my first 3 examples, I can focus well on a definate aim, but only up to a point. Soemtimes I'm inspired by something I've read and might read another book on the subject... as someone said, fads are great!!! The AutoCAD course is the only 'sensible' (as my father would see it) career direction that I have focused on long enough to see a conclusion (nearly!)

Of everybody I know, only one person has had a plan and seen it through (he's a professional sports photographer)... every one else, including those who have degrees, seem to wait and see what life throws up...

I started off as a nurse, became a social sciences lecturer,then a researcher, then a psychologist/counsellor..now I am at a crossroads again...so will have to re-focus. Or I could just drift a long for a while. The only reasons parents say to focus is they worry about your future. my father is still saying to me I wish you would settle down..I'm 47!

I have no plan and no focus, beyond packing in this crappy job and going round the world. That's been the plan since the last year of university, just go away for a bit and see what happens.
I am desperately hoping that I will come across something I really want to do!
Needless to say, my dad thinks I have lost the plot and should have a mortgage already. Mum is more supportive.
My problem is that I seem to want to do things that cannot logically go together. I want to be v successful in my chosen field and make a good living from it. I also want to travel and help people in disadvantaged countries, probably through voluntary work, which doesn't tend to help you make money. All this to be done at the same time as settling down and having several children....
I think I'm just going to toddle along without really worrying about a plan too much and see where i end up. I am constantly being told that things never turn out the way you plan them, so there probably isn't a lot of point!

Oh, and my focus on this AutoCAD thing is derived from now having a family with two young boys to provide for... I have this horrible feeling that if I had to do something for myself, I wasn't all that bothered/focuesd... but having two great kids who I brought into the world (well, helped with the good bit anyway) has certainly refocused my responsibilities.

Mini-plans are good. I'm doing an OU course and will see how things have changed in a year.

People are turned off by difficult things. I'm a firm believer that you really can do anything you want, it just depends on how badly you want it. It's easier to presume something is out of your reach, rather than work day and night to achieve it.

My sense of vacation is firmly intact! Going to Egypt last year made me realise I really can achieve my dreams (coming from a poor family meant everything seemed out of reach - affording membership at a health club was a Major achievement!), and now work extra hours so I can afford to do an "adventure" holiday each year.

The problem is more day-to-day stuff, there really is nothing I've ever had a burning ambition to spend my life doing!

Are people who know they 'have' to have a certain vocation in life (such as Saturnine with her writing!) the rare lucky ones?
Am I actually 'normal' in that I haven't a clue where I want to go in life??!!
How did your 'vague' desire turn into burning ambition?

Q

I'm 17, I have no plan, I see no point in making one. Life changes, moods swing faster than I can plan to fit them, interests and beliefs alter on an almost daily basis. Why should I plan for something when I know I'll only ignore it? There are much more entertaining things I could be doing with my time, and by doing them it might allow me to plan from experience when my head actually slows down enough for me to think more than 24 hours into the future.

I would like to say you are normal for having no direction... but that would go against my own experiences in my younger years... I definately wanted to be a fighter pilot, american football player, DJ... and still want to be a writer!! Although I focused and attained a measure of success, I think I never made it as I ultimately lacked the confidence to continue when the going got really tough....

With a long list of books ready to be written, I find the commitments of children, partner, work and college to use up too much time... but is this just an excuse and am I basing my newly found aimlessness on previous failures...

I'm currently in the process of dropping out of university, on a course which is perfect for me, in a town not too far from where I live. The accommodation at the university is dreadful, and one or two things about it are also far from ideal, but they don't have much bearing on this. I have a perfectly respectable set of A-Levels, and a slightly better (actually quite good, scarily), set of GCSEs. I'm about to go and work for just over the minimum wage doing a crappy job for two or three months in order to try and raise a small amount of money.

When I've done that, I'm going to be moving to the united states.

Ultimately, I don't personally think that there is any purpose to life; much like the god debate, even if there IS, it's practically impossible for humans to either alight upon anything approaching a watertight answer or agree on the same. The only thing that matters, ultimately, are other people, I think.. or.. there is only to life what you make of it for yourself, and for me, those are humanitarian things. To wax philosophical, as Voltaire wrote, "Il faut cultiver notre jardin" (lit: it is necessary to cultivate our own garden), or - as I interpret it - there is only to life what we make of it for ourself. Loosely. I'm prepared to argue and or concede this tenuous reference.

I happen to think that I've found someone who I'll both be able to make happy and who does make me extraordinarily happy, and regardless of what I end up doing, whether I'm a journalist or a barkeeper, a secretary or a computer programmer (all things I've worked doing, oddly.. ), I'll be happy as long as I'm there.

That's my focus in life.



Just my ...

- njan

Wow so many replies in the time it took to write mine!

Ferino - hit a nail on the head when you said "I want to be v successful in my chosen field and make a good living from it." Mein papa keeps trying to drum it into me that this is a foolish dream.

I've realised that I need some sort of plan. Yes, life changes, and it could all turn up, but if you never try and make things better in the first place, you'll definitely still be mudding along at 30 with no house, savings, career path.

Nothing is going to happen in your life that enables you to muddle along and financially afford what you want from life. (If you are expecting a windfall, congratulations! You are Very lucky!) Don't expect things to 'turn out alright' - you have to work on it.

Ok, so I'm quite relieved that I'm quite normal in that I have no direction. My problem is that I'm not willing to settle in a 'career' just that's what I've muddled in to. Hence why I'm still a slightly frustrated secretary.

Have you recently 'found' your vocation? How?
How do you focus?

Q

Sorry, should have elaborated a bit. I'm not making a plan NOW. I can't imagine I'd have a very stable existence at 50 if i'd never tried to plan stuff!
I think I'll fall upon a path and make plans from that. I'm just not so worried about it at 23 with the freedom to do what I want (up to a point, obviously!) I used to be a lot more concerned about it, but I realised that almost none of my university friends have proper plans yet, so I'm not abnormal and getting left behind.
Still, a windfall would be very nice. Maybe I'll take up the lottery!

<>... well, that's me... and I had plans!!!!

Having a plan is not the be all and end all, you need the focus/determination, whatever, to see something through! A collection of half-hearted and incomplete pipe-dreams certainly doesn't look as good, or feel as good, as a series of completed projects, ambitions, no matter how many you have...

It all stems from the fact that there is no longer such a thing as a 'job for life'. It is now the norm to change jobs every nopw and then over your life. People now know that, if their current job doesn't suit them, it is legitimate to pack it in and try something else. The choice to settle down in a particular position can be delayed indefinitely. Is that a bad thing? Yes and no, in my opinion.
I have a goal, and I'm working towards it, but it's a broad path and well trodden, so I have no reason to question it yet. Lots of people go to university for lots of reasons, including getting a career in academia. The difficulty will come when I have to actually make sacrifices to get there, and fight the flow of the multitudes.
I also have a couple of backup ideas, but I haven't made any attempt to look seriously into them.