h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm physically disabled, and have viewed the world through a slightly different point of view my whole life. When it comes to sharing my views, I often run into a brick wall because people have not been in my shoes (or wheelchair).

Anyone have opinions on the best ways to be heard and actually understood?

LHflu

LHflu,
that is a tough one.
Like you we are all conditioned by the handicaps we do or don't have. Maybe the best had been if you had not mentioned it, and just waited how discussions would go.

In this place you may fit in easily, there are people from so many cultures and backgrounds, that "just" being physically disabled will make no difference in online conversation.

Give it a try, if you can work a computer, you can be normal here. Different points of view will make it more interesting.

Thanks for the advice, but what I'm looking for has less to do with this site than life in particular. I know what I have done to try to be understood, but what have others done and how useful has it been? We all have so different points of view, but we tend to be isolational, and not let other people in. For example: I have had much trouble initially speaking to people from the UK, because although we think we share the same language, in some ways we don't. This is a philiosophical question, not so much a practical one. But again, thanks.

LHflu

LHflu,
you posted this question in "Talking about the guide", where we are supposed to talk about the guide itself. <./>Askh2g2</.> would have been a better place, there are also more people there who will see it.

Maybe one of the editors can move this thread.
Any editor around please?

For the rest, I will think about it. For me English is a foreign language, which gives me trouble understanding and creating, and the time-difference makes it very late for me.

I will be back.

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Talking About the Guide - the h2g2 Community' to 'Ask the h2g2 Community'.

As requested.

Mina

do not be afraid to open up about your physically disability.

I am born with 7 fingers. five on left and 2 on the right. when people stare I might react on it by asking or telling them about my hands. adults react in apoligic way. most kids listen and I hope they will be more open towards handicaps next time.

LHflu, persistence is the word that springs to my mind. I don't consider myself to be an assertive person. This format is ideal for expressing opinions becuase you can create a postign & not get interrupted - whether anyone reads it or takes any notice is a different matter!

In real life I think you have to be as my husband puts it, like a dripping tap, & eventually people do seem to get the message. Try different ways of saying the same message, if one metaphor/description/whatever doesn't work, try another.

I'm not sure if that's quite what you mean?

Lhflu: I don't think there is any way for you to make sure people can see things from your point of view. I think seeing from another's perspective is an innate skill which cannot be taught. All you can do is talk to people and hope for the best. Some people will surprise you.

You mean things other than dont yell, dont be arrogant, and do listen?Are you in a wheelchair or sitting a lot? That can bring about differences in eye contact, body language, voice direction or loudness, body heigths, all which can add some difficulties for differently abled talking to abled body. Also,is it any one particular topic you talking about? On the De Myelin Nation A889194 site Terri talks about cultural differences in body language. It pertains somewhat to disabilities but not exclusively.

LHflu, maybe you think you are special, and that is what gives people trouble understanding you.
The sad fact is, we are all special, and we all have trouble being understood, and not just with language troubles.
Do you realise that if you try to communicate a feeling to someone else, you may be very glad is as much as 25% is understood correctly? So much is lost in the process, from your setting your feeling nto words, through noise mingling with the words up to retranslating words into a feeling.
Communication is not just stating your views, but it contains also trying to get feedback on what the other actually thinks you have said, so you can try to enhance it.

Up till now you just stated you (or we) have problems seeing each others views, but apart from the language problem most of us have, we have no indication in what direction to look, except maybe the special view you get by being handicapped.

Lhflu I hope you return to clarify your question. Do you expect folks to ~~change~~ their minds (philosophy)after talking with you?

Lhflu I hope you return to clarify your question. Do you expect folks to ~~change~~ their minds or change what they do,after listening to you?

Well, let's hope lhflu does come back here because he or she's started off __the__ big discussion.

When speaking to a disabled person, I, and I am sure most other able-bodied people appreciate it if the person explains with no embarrassment exactly what their disability is and pre-empts the usual questions to get that out of the way so that no more embarrassment or awkwardness need arise. Then leave it at that and continue talking about some common subject which both are interested in.

It helps if a disabled person has a high self-esteem as this makes it easier to get on with them too, as you find you don't have to be apologetic or make concessions all the time. They often have to lead the conversation because the other person might be concentrating very hard on how to express himself and become very conscientious or, worse still, might continually put their put in it.

As for getting other people to see things from your point of view, then point it out to them. For example, as was mentioned above, the advantages and disadvantages of seeing things from a different height, and being more aware of the surface structure of the ground or something. These tangible and easily understood little differences in "point of view" might actually provide other, more narrow-minded people with a first step at looking at things through someone else's eyes.

if you get what I mean.

Anyway, come along to a meet if you can - Also Ran came last time and I'm sure she was really glad she did.

Not necssarily have someone change their minds. I'm looking for understanding of a POV, not necessarily acceptance.

Example: How would you get a deout Catholic to accept the validity of a Jewish person's religious practices without having to believe in them?


Well, it does involve some change (everything does) but an understanding and acceptance that this is what makes up the world.

Does this help?

Lhflu

Thank you, it seems you and I think many of the same ideas.

I started this as a philosophical question, the disability was just a starting point (because it was an obvious one to me). I have done research in this area and I'd like to write a piece for the Guide on prejudice and how to get through it, and I wanted to see what common opinions were (because I've buried my head in too many journal articles).

And, what is a meet? I'm new here.
Thanks
Lhflu

People who are more (1)*accepting of differences, (2)*listen to your POV and are more (3)*willing to try and understand . That may be a listeners personality, NOT something you can make happen. For the more open & accepting *personality, you have a better chance of it. Some will never listen, some will listen only to challenge. I think you need a personality with all three talents * to have a chance at influence. I think misunderstandings and non-acceptance also make up the world. Not sure that was any help!

Agreed - it's part of a person's personality that allows them to understand another's point of view. In effect, they could be holding two differing and opposing ideas in their head at the same time and have been asked to give them equal weight - something that most people (including myself) often find very difficult. (to give a slightly unrelated to main topic example: someone being asked to consider a biological perspective of psychology who believes only in a more Freudian/Jungian perspective. The two really don't jive.)

I think the only way to "get people to see things from your point of view" is persistance. Be sure they know you think your view is important - because it *is* - and I think if they're worth being made to understand, they will.

And if that made sense, kudos... It's 1 am and I'm falling asleep at the keyboard agai-

A meet is a RL meetup for fun! Wanted to mention that *tonsils revenge* asked the same question you have. You might enjoy going to his home page/journal!