h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well that is better then people telling me they are a piece of national heritage! Anonymouse - I will see what I can do - but you have to agree to run away to the Bahamas with me!

Hey, I *am* a piece of national heritage! Check the grey hairs, man!

DOH! What did you have to mention the seashells for? I had forgotten about that, and now I have been reminded it will drive me nuts trying to work out what the hell they were for!!

Please, someone enlighten me before my small intestine tries to throttle my brain!

*packs a teeny suitcase* ... Bahamas, eh? NOT a problem!

"Ah, the condemed man"
-Lev Arris, Privateer 2
"Charity is good for the soul"
-The condemed man, maybe?
"Nice guys finish last"
-Nice Guys Finish Last, Green Day

The preceding hilosophical views should be ignored but considered.

Nice Guys Finish Last: A Rebuttal:

My firm agreed to buy me a new car, a Volvo V70. The basic spec, but with auto transmission. I was nice to the man at the Volvo shop on my several visits, and nice to the woman in Human Resources who handles cars, and nice to the Human Resources Director.

Volvo deleted the 2.0 from their range as we placed the order. The man from the Volvo shop was nice right back: he negotiated, without prompting, with the leasing company and my firm, to get me the 2.5 20-v SE model with leather interior, climate control, CD player and wooden bits. At the same price.

Who says nice guys finish last?

Nice Guys Finish Last: Another Rebuttal:

I took my old dad to a meeting of the Tiger Moth Club, because his friend Jerry had invited him and he was a bit unstable on his feet at the time having just retired with blood pressure in the 200s. So I went along to help out a bit, and to do the driving.

That day I met John "Cat's Eyes" Cunningham, which name students of the air battles of WWII will recognise, and got a joy ride in a 1931 Tiger Moth.

Who says nice guys finish last?

Nice Guys Finish Last: Yet Another Rebuttal:

I went to see a school friend once and found his mother numbering concert tickets by hand. I offered to help, and gained free admission to the first of many concerts. This one was, I think, The Vienna Boys Choir. As a result of helping Pam with ticket numbering and chair moving I have seen, generally free of charge, several major symphony orchestras, many of the world's finest organists, cabaret acts and actors.

Who says nice guys finish last?

I'll stick with Vengaboys, thank you.

Good to see that one can be nice. Should you have stolen the car you could have driven it longer.

Personally, I don't like Volvos but who am I to judge?

I think it would be hard not to like this one, from the drivers seat anyway

Any way Some Guy I think that you are arguing that nice guys finish last only so that we will think you are a machiavellian schemer and are impressed in some way!

You're right. I just need some attention. No wait! I don't need attention, I need some X
Personally, I really like this Volvo convertible but I dislike most Volvos

Me, I hardly have any Volvos at all. Just the three of them.

Awww. You poor baby.
You're getting yourself Volvos by the dozens while I go to a public school. Sure it is the best Junior High in New York, or even the whole eastern seaboard but it is just junior high.
Say, umm, you think you can lend me one when I get my license?

me too - I could do with one - it doesn't have to be too flash!

Um, I think there might be a problem here. First, even the legendary rustproofing of a Volvo is unlikely to survive the drive across the Atlantic (mental note: make sure to put ventilation on recirculate, or the car will fill with water).

Second, my bro-in-law has just approached me to sell him one of my Volvos to replace his, er, Volvo.

Sorry, guys

Tsk this is sooooo unfair

Don't care much for Volvos myself, but thanks anyway.

The printer I use at work is useless. It chews up 3 sheets of paper for every page you print. I thought about offering to buy a new printer myself.

Good heavens! Where did this resurface from? Takes us back a bit, eh Lochangel? If you can't get that printer serviced so that it works properly, do buy a new one. It'll save you so much in torn hair.