h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't like the Rolling Stones, quite like some of Elton John's stuff, can take or leave Billy Joel, have never heard of any of the others. Are they American artistes? Other likes are Mike Oldfield, Phil Collins, Clannad, Adiemus, Queen, Sky, Rick Wakeman and stuff by Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Strauss, Tchaikovsky ... I think what's in the chart's at the moment is cr*p (in Britain, anyway. I don't know about anywhere else) - most of the decent songs are cover versions. I have never bought a single (they're a waste of money), only albums.

OK, so how old am I? If you over-estimate ...

First of all it's he. Read the screen name.
I am indeed thirteen years old however I do have rather high IQ.
I don't care about age either, but was trying to make a point which escapes me for now.
Something about paper or something. Speaking of which, the American schoolboard is planning to don away with textbooks and replace them with laptops made for reading and reading only as I understand. Save the rain forests while saving a few spines. You can get such a notebook for three hundred dollars. Reading from a computer screen isn't so bad. I have So Long And Thanks... in Word format. I own the book so it's probably legal.
p.s. I'm new how do you make the fish?

Sorry forgot about the guessing game.
They are indeed American bands but most people over 25 never heard of any except N Sync which is probably one of the most popular(not the best, hooray for The Offspring) bands in America.
Anyway I think you might be somewhere between 30-35. Could be lower, should be higher for an American

> < >

Thanks alot!

What I find tends to happen is that I have to produce a report that will print onto pre-printed stationary. The process goes something like this:
1. The name is a bit too high - move name down
2. The address is a bit too low - move address up
3. Repeat for everything in the report until successful or pile of papers reaches critical mass

OK, you win. I was 35 this year, but I'm told I don't look it.

I have had this problem as well. However, after a while we worked out that, for a lot of things, it didn't matter whether the company logo was in colour or just black and white. So we had some templates made for letters, faxes, memos and reports, and were able to produce decent printed matter without decimating forests. I now do this whereever I work.

Try it and let me know if it helps.

The dull-but-true answer is that whereas a piece of paper used to move from person to person until it reached its intended recipient, sometines gaining a circulation sheet along the way, every single person in the chain on a "paperless" system tends to print the document through force of habit, so that five times as many pieces of paper result.

There is also a small side-effect that, having printed something yourself, you will tend to keep it rather than immediately bin it. In the old days you would file the incoming piece of paper or throw it away, but in a paperless office there are no filing cabinets so you pile it all on the corner of your desk.

So what can I do to clear my desk?

Try putting 50p in a charity box on your desk each time you click "print"

Or one can always use a paper shredder.
I also hear some lighters can light up as many as 2500 times,hint hint.

I suppose it depends on where the paper comes from. If you're printing it, try to get used to reading stuff on the screen and only print out what you absolutely have to print.

If people are dumping it on your desk take the 'Read it; do it; file it; bin it' approach. In other words, read each bit of paper. If it needs action, do it at once. If it doesn't need immediate action, file it (and ask why it was put on your desk in the first place). If it's rubbish, bin it (again ask why you received it).

You could also check out whether some of the stuff could be sent by e-mail. After all, you can do attachments. I assume your company has e-mail, as I don't see how you can maintain a paperless office without it.

Set fire to it. Smash up all the equipment, burn the building down, I'll do the same here, we'll smash the state, and then we can go and live in a tent somewhere.

Cluttered desk=cluttered mind
Empty desk=?!?

Suicide maybe?
Nah, the office will still be a mess.
Okay, this one should work. Before the person has a chance to put the papers on the desk tell that person to take them back and do whatever has to be dome. Should he/she do a good job, take the credit for it. Should he/she do a bad job tell your superiors that you never recieved those papers due to the incompetence of the person who brought you the papers.

If that fails suicide may be your only option. Apart from maybe getting your own shredding machine a the ability to keep a straight face when you deny all knowledge.

Nah, no shredding machines.
I already used one in a privious message. My lawyers will get in touch with you about that soon!
So tell me, do you think a jump from the Verazzano Brigde in Brooklyn, New York or spring for the dollar fifty subway fare to go to Manhattan and jump of the Emire State Building?

Correction: thats Empire State Building and happy landings!

Does he also have one that says "You don't have to be mad to work here - but it helps!" ?

And anyway, what about the three seashells?*

Tim

*Now there's an obscure reference.