h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you do it? And if yes, whats the funniest/strangest thing you've said?

Apparently one night last weekend I rolled over n asked the other'alf when he was going to 'fill in the forms' and I vaguely remember remarrking how geordie zombies on castors would be agood name for a movie

Anyone else?

I don't think that I talk in my sleep - it was never mentioned if I did...

When I was going to boarding school, I shared a room with two other guys, who both engaged in the noble activity of sleep talking. At one certain period of my school carreer, I used to come to my room late, due to being held up in the girls section of the boarding house. It was on these occasions that I was able to witness sleep talk conversations between the other two roommates. While R. was going on about stuff like "Hey! Hey, you know what, we should all go down to the club and dance!", M. was caught up in a world of his own: "Naw, don't. Mmmh. No." etc.

Quite entertaining. No, actually, quite scary at times.

Y.

Er...it's probably best if you don't get Odo started on this topic.

Apparently last night, I was calling out grid reference numbers.

B

Apparently I do it, but no-one will ever tell me what I say

'waits for Odo to come and spill the beans'

My sister swears! She rarely swears when awake (as opposed to me who swears like a trooper!) and I think she gets it all out of her system by releasing it in her sleep.

My Dad used to come and check on us when we were teenagers and the look on his face as he stood in the doorway and listened to the mouthful of abuse coming from his was hysterical! She doesn't talk in sentences, she just shouts out swear words! Her hubby is used to it now but he's sometimes scared she's talking to him!

I just snore.............loudly!

the last bit of sleep gibberish I sprouted was

"Pass the pyramid sandwiches"

For the life of me I cannot understand why it didn't make sense to anyone else....

I sleep-walk and -talk sometimes. When I was about 10 and my wardrobe was in my parents' bedroom I went in, opened the wardrobe and got my favourite t-shirt out. It was about 2am, my Dad woke and asked me what I was doing and I said something like "I'm getting my clothes for tomorrow". He just said "OK" and went back to sleep. I don't remember going back to my room and when I woke up I thought I'd been dreaming until I saw the t-shirt nicely folded on my chair. Apparently I'm very neat when I'm asleep

I can easily get up and turn off my alarm without waking up, and I have had entire conversations with my mum where I can't remember a word afterwards. A few days ago I remember saying "My shoes are going away" for some reason.

Apparently I talk in my sleep, but Hannah is either unwilling or unable to remember what I say.

Though I did once hear my cousin moan, "I want to clean the showers". I had no intention of stopping him.


Geggs

Mrs. D once told me to "take your f**king boots of when you're in bed"... this was at 3am and I was in my pyjamas.

Apparently I once made a big fuss over having to get a smaller oven.

HB, my ex, would quite regularly spout the most bizarre gibberish while apparently asleep.

The first occurrence was quite disturbing, when she sat up, looked me straight in the eye, and said, firmly, "Stuffed plums!". Not unnaturally, never having had anything like that happen before, I said "eh?". She replied, "Stuffed plums! It's true!", and lay straight back down and went back to "sleep".

Apparently she "likes the finest foods". She also told me she "liked the nose peg bags".

Apparently also "he's got a big cake and I don't like it one bit. So make sure you trivy it. Don't shout at it, you'll hurt it."

On another occasion, everything was "Hmmm.... slightly politely." And when I asked "What is slightly politely", I received a non-committal hand gesture, and the very definite statement "The WORLD."

There was also, on one occasion, some activity of concern happening "in the quarry by the furtapler by the sewing machine the makes a nice noise".

Also, I was once reliably informed that "You've got to have a drink now and again with the customers. I'm a slapper and I'm Swiss with my legs in the air. As you can see here." (hand gesture indicating presumably a Powerpoint slide only she could see).

I have to say I do miss it.

SoRB

SoRB, you have made a poorly and getting-to-feverish (but still at w**k ) man really laugh for the first time in days... thank you.

that genuinely made me laugh out loud

I have a friend who claims he and his then wife started 'sleep talk arguing' whilst asleep, and when they woke up they were heavily into a full blown argument but then they quickly realised neither of them knew what they were actually arguing about and both went back to sleep again.

But me and mine have never sleep talked. I snore horribly though if that's any good.

Similar here. Except my response was the silent quaking of trying not to laugh, which received concerned looks from my co-workers.


Geggs

dunno if I do, never had any comments.

Although I have, apparently, been known to elbow a partner out the way so I get more bed space And they never seem to believe it is unintentional!

My father used to, when he was sleeping in the day due to working night shifts. Once he shouted out 'Bazookas!' when my mum walked in (she was rathe rperplexed by this) and another time he said 'Shhh! I'm listening to the grass grow'.

I did once share a room with someone who had night terrors. 3am in the morning, he sat bolt upright in his bed, staring wide eyed at the doorway and screaming in abject terror. Just long enough to wake us up. As soon as we were awake he shut up, then lay back down and went to sleep.

Not a way to wake up that I'd recommend to anyone!

I went to a boarding school, and they're fabulous places for listening in to other people's nocturnal ramblings.

One girl would answer you if you asked her questions while she was talking in her sleep. We did awful things to her, like trying out the old "if we dip her finger in water, what will happen??" (nothing).

Another would sit up in bed and shout out one word, wake us all up (trembling and sweating) and then fall back fast asleep.

And then there was the girl who would sleepwalk. One night she got up, put on her nice yellow raincoat and went out to the dining hall and started to set the tables. Her sister rescued her and got her back into bed.

Then, there was the old toothpaste trick. Mean stuff. You put a dab of toothpaste on your victim's nose. The theory is that it will itch and they'll rub the toothpaste all over their face. I don't remember that one working, either.

Aren't kids awful!!

I'm glad I never went to boarding school . Got to admit I've never heard the toothpaste trick, though. Also, I was under the impression that it was putting the sleeper's whole hand in warm water that had an effect, but I don't know if that works

I don't sleep talk or sleep walk, although I'm quite able to push my husband out of bed (or at least, until he has about 6" of bed left to try and sleep on) and I apparently growl if he tries pushing me back . He generally gives up and gets in the other side of the bed. I haven't noticed him sleep talking or walking yet....

One of our friends was telling us some time ago that his fiancee sleep-talks. One night she managed to wake him up by asking repeatedly, "Have you put the cat out?" As they don't have a cat, he asked "Which cat?" She apparently replied, "The green one, silly!" .

I do apparently ramble and witter on about a whole load of unintelligible nonsense when sleeping, (not unlike my waking hours), anyway, only 2 things I was told I said spring to mind at present.....

"NO!! There my banana pants!"

"Let me hold the 'leebershlobflock?' cos I can see it better" (I was apparently very insistent about holding the 'leebershlobflock', and demanded to do so several times.)

I haven't done this in years and it is not exactly 'talking', but I used to get out of my really tightly made bed in my sleep and only realize it because I woke up freezing and discovered I was lying on top of the covers. The bed was just as neatly made up as it was I went to sleep.
Another thing I used to was get undressed in my sleep. I would wake up in the morning nude and look for my nightie and it would be on the floor by the side of the bed or even weirder be in the dirty washing basket.

Annie

Him indoors is brillant for this sort of thing.

"My team will beat yours, because we've got shoes"
"Don't get it wet, you'll ruin it, and I've only got one". Followed by "Germans, of course. No one else wears sausages".

I talk in my sleep too, but I make marginally more sense.