h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sure I'm getting worse the older I get I used to be able to get through the whole day only muttering one or two sarcastic outbursts. Now it seems be every second sentence!

I start of with good intentions in a morning, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, promising myself that today I'll be good, I will not utter one sarcastic comment.

But then people happen

forgot the question

Which is so you find the same or is it just me?

Sarcasm can be funny. Do people laugh at your sarcasm?

Yes

Sometimes they laugh when I'm not meaning to be funny

You're probably fun to have around. Please don't change.

Aww thank you Paul

And what's more, I wasn't being sarcastic when I said that.

I have a reputation for being grumpy. Sarcasm takes too much effort.

I've had to practice hard though. It's taken years to get like this.

PP.

If it takes years to become Grumpy, how long does it take to become Sneezy or Dopey?

A short while.

PP.

This is the pollen season. I'm Sneezy fairly often.

Ah that time of year when fresh air tries to kill me.

Living on the knife edge can be liberating.

Well at least that's what I tell myself

I have to say I am 66 and couldn't be any happier, sadly (the suicide note is in the drawer).

Fresh air doesn't kill you! Pollen my word, what nonsense!

I'm allergic to lilacs. There's a lilac bush just across the street form me, but so far I'm managing.

I can't bear the smell of lavender or the taste of gin. Somebody snuck some of the latter past me in a daiquiri once. I still haven't forgiven them.

Happy towel day peeps

I'm sure my towel will be happy today as long as I don't get it wet. Maybe towels like to be dry as much as people do.