h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

wheeled up and down the street in his wheelchair

He attempted a launch

But the girth of his paunch

But struggled with his paunch when he started his launch.

(I'll use the first option)

...but the girth of his paunch
Stuck outside and he caught a bad chill - brrr!

*****

Hey Merkin lad, where have you been?

of Merkin I know not nor of him have I seen,
but my lamp has been exstiguished
and the unplugger must be punished!
But who-dun-its? a bugger.. so visit my entry
and take a stab at the mystery! to capture this fien--------d.

Have you been to London to visit the Queen?

(ahhhhhh, nursary rhymes.....)

Did she make you a cuppa?

Or something for supper?

or give you the toilet duck and make you clean?
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THere once was a fat bloke called Homer

(And thanks Peet - feeling much better.. even if it doesn't show in my rhymes...)

saw a bomb go off in Oklahoma

(Glad to hear it!)

so he ran to a church

With the Adam's Family and Lurch

went off to plant thistles in Tacoma

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Oh my, but these yams are scrumptious

Perhaps bumptious and boisterous

(Looney, 'bumptious'?)

baked in syrup with marshmallows

by some devious fellows

one thing's for sure they're not noxious
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(sorry - it's the Loony effect...)
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Once upon a time in the north

Food with attitude, delicious

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A three-toed sloth was limping