h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hia i just thought i'd start a Story! lol u can join in2 and u can hav any character init u want!



It was a normal evening for Buffy as she got ready to go on her nightly Stakeout.........

until she found the hwk set for history stuffed under her stakes. Going into a state of panic she called Willow to find out when it was to be in, unfortunaly it was the next day. Subsequentley she ended up skipping patrol and doing the hwk. Oh how she wished she hadn't.

because a sick lookin evil had come dat very nite, and woz plannin 2 take ova de world, and he ... i mean it ..... had captured de rest of de gang (spike, williow, xander, dawn, anya, giles, tara ...... i think datz all) while all diz woz goin on buffy woz havin truble with her hwk becuz she had fallen asleep in class ...... so she thought she wod get a glass water and wen she went down stairs she found dat dawn was missing, she went ova 2 spike's cuz dawn goes ova der somtimes , but neither dawn or spike woz der......

After goin in2 another state of panic she ran 2 the phone and started diling Willow's number. No one anwsered.....

hi! ur online now cool....
anywayz bak 2 de story....
she started to panic more and rang giles ...... no answer , den she rang xander , but still no answer she ran out side lookin 4 dem in de woods and dat but she saw nothin, then she remembered dat she had given dawn a mobil , so rang dat......

Dawn's mobile rang and rang but no anwser! after phoning all her friends ( who didn't anwser ) she started 2 think


Buffy: ' who else could i phone? oh where could they be? i no what i could do!


she picked up the phone again and started diling a number.....


Buffy: ' Hello Angel, i need your help!

so angel made his way to sunnydale
and den de search began but buffy codn help herself and fell into his arms and started to cry
i want u angel she cryed ....

Angel: Buffy, u no i love you and i always will but...

Buffy: ...there can never be anything between us

Angel: Yeah, you no what happened last....
( Buffy stops him by kissing him. )

Buffy: ( she pulls away and says ) I Love You

Angel: ( Angel just smiles )

Buffy: anyway we should be getting on.

Angel: yeah


Buffy and Angel start walking on they spot something on the wall as there walkin on.....

it said .... i hav ur friends buffy ... com 2 grve yaurd by de skol and if u do as i command ur friends will return 2 u

so buffy went to de grave yuard and der dey were ..
spike shouted... no buffy don't do it .....
buffy sed . do wot?
spike: ull c
spike gets knocked out by de "thing"
dawn: buffy!
xander: jst kill it
buffy stakes it , but nothin happenes
buffy: how?
williow: u hav 2 make it eat its own tail

(ok Mizzy_Masters Ewwwwwww.... eat its own tail!)


Angel run's towards the 'thing'! and grabs the 'things' tail..... but the 'thing' swings its tail and Angel gets slamed agants a brick wall. Angel vamps out.


Angel: Ok buster, ur gona regret that!


Meanwile Buffy busy untying her friends Willow, Dawn, Xander, Tara, Giles and Anya are all free and Buffy tells them to run out of the grave yard! the only person who is left to free is Spike! Buffy runs over to Spike but the 'thing' wacks her away.......

(sorry ..... wot can i say .... stuff like can only go on in buffy)

Spike: Buffy (sorry i no its a weak line , but his alwayz sayin dat)

Buffy throughs a knife 2wards spike

Buffy: here use diz
Spike: erm.... how my hands r tied!!!
Buffy: erm... no erm.... wait

angel is really angry and grabs de "things" tail and starts running

Buffy runs towards spike and frees him ...

Buffy : r u ok?
Spike: yea ... erm ..... i think so
Buffy: ok den help us fite

Buffy and spike distract the "thing" while angel comes up from behind and .........

stuffs the tail in the 'things' mouth! the 'thing' exsplodes but doesn't leave a trace of anything behind. Buffy runs towards Angel and jumps into his arms of joy!


Buffy: U did it! U did it!

Angel: (slightly imbaraced by Buffys outbreak)Yeah

Spike: ( slightly jelous ) WooHoo Mr Bigshot saved the day again


Spike turns and walks into the night and vanishes in the misty darkness of the grave yard.



NEXT DAY.....



Buffy runs down stairs and rushes down her breakfast because she is late for school! she quickly glances at the clock and runs outside to see if she can catch the school bus........

but dam ...... too l8
so she runs to school , and makes it b4 de bus does
meanwhile dawn is havin a day off so shes satyin @ spik's which is havin trouble with his soul.

While Buffy is at school trying to get a job, the headteacher says while in the middle of the convisation.


Headteacher: How's Dawn is she feeling any batter?

Buffy: She's Fine....what...huh.....wait a minute....what do you mean?

Headteacher: Well, your mother phoned up and said that Dawn doesn't feel well and that she wont be in school today.

Buffy: (muttering under her breath) Mum's dead, how could, (realising what Dawn had done and speaking normal now) Oh Yeah, ermmm... i got to go sorry...

Headteacher: but what about the job interview?

Buffy: can we finish it of another day?
(Buffy gets up and walks out in a hurry)

Headteacher: But....


Buffy runs out of the school and back home, slame's her stuff on the table and go's back out.



(Spike's Crypt)


Dawn: Ok, What's happening with your soul?........

spike: its makin me feel pan 4 i've done 2 oders in the past

dawn: does it hurt?

spike: wot de hell do u think? and shodn u b in skol?
dawn: no its my day off
spke: so wodn u b goin shoe shoppin wid ur slayer sister buffy?
dawn: no she has a job interview and besides diz is betta
spikegetting up from the floor) so u wanna watch t.v or wot?
dawn : can u.........

buffy storms in

buffy: wot r u doin here?
spike: ur day off huh?
dawn: well .... well.... we weren doin anythin in class anywayz
buffy: dawn dat is no excuse, i ve had to run out of an interview because of u
spike: hey , lets jst be carlm here (gets one of does headache things)
buffy: wotz up wid u ?
spike: a stupid soul ... wot do u think?
buffy: it gives u headaches?
spike: much more den dat pet
dawn: well im not goin bak 2 skol
buffy: yes u r
spike: well the dayz nearly ova anywayz.... so derz no point .... any1 want a ... erm ..... alcohol r blood?, (looks at buffys woried face) don worry she ain had a drop
dawn: ya wonder y
spike: erm ...... i hav pizza, and juice ? huh? y?
dawn : oh we decided to erm.... well u weren here

Buffy: Spike

Spike: yes Buffy

Buffy: Can u give me and Dawn a minute here?

Spike: but...its...( Spike bust out in pain) OW!....my Bluddy....Crypt.....

Buffy: what is rong with you?

Spike: What do u bluddy think!

Dawn: Hello...im still here you no...isn't anyone gona tell me off?

Buffy: Dawn go to School! i have more important things to do at the moment!

Dawn: But Buffy.....

Buffy: GO!

Dawn leaves the room angry, and slams the door behind her........

buffy stays and walks towards spike
buffy: how long has this been goin on?
spike: since de day i got dz thing
buffy: well ..... here sit and ill erm ... bring u som ..... erm blood
spike: tanx , but shodn u b runnin off after ur key sister here?
buffy: she wants the attention and dat key thin is ova
spike: wow ..... whos got der knicers ina twist?
buffy: im jst tryin 2get a job and she wont even let me do dat

buffy starts to cry, spike walks over an puts his arms around her

then ....... u no de rest ... de lil moments de hav
bahin de place down an all ....... and ......hmmm

(i dont want Spike to lose his soul! so can u cut the last bit out plz?)


Spike: (kindly says) it's ok....

Buffy: sniff...sniff...thank you....

Spike: (spike fulls to the floor in pain)OWWWWWWW!

Buffy: We should erm....get...Giles....or some one that would help! erm im...gona... get him ok?

Spike: Nooo dont go! OWWWW!

Buffy: erm... i no i'll.... phone him.....

Buffy picks up the phone and diles Giles number.....

(erm.... spike can't loose his soul cuz he ain cursed , he went after 1 himself... but sure.... ok)

Giles: hello ......
Buffy: hi giles can u come to spike's?
Giles: Spike's? y?
Buffy: i .... well we need ur help
Giles: im nt helpin dat beast
Buffy: then help me by helpin him
Giles: wot do u need?
Buffy: books....... about souls and vampires

Giles: ok i will be around soon with the books.
Buffy: ok, thanks Giles


Buffy puts the phone down and runs over to Spike who has just screamed out in pain!


Buffy: erm....r u ok?
Spike: OWWW!!!!!!!
Buffy: oh....erm....stuipid question
Spike: Why do u bluddy always toture me!
Buffy: what do u mean?
Spike: you And Angel!
Buffy: what? there's nothing going on between me and Angel
Spike: (sarcasticly) Oh yeah, sure thats why you must of just triped and feel into his arms like that the other day!
Buffy: I was just happy that he beat him!
Spike: no not *he* beat him *we*
Buffy: are you jelous?..........