h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mean while the others have gone to giles house
xander: god if spike does anything to her
williow: xander, buffy can take care of her self
xander: ya, well im not convinsed, i dont know y she wont jst stake him?
williow: xander, give him a chance
xander: wot is it women, hey! u all seem to go 4 de bad guy, wotz wrong with me?
anya: ur taken
williow: no its jst well
Xander: wot? his looks? i bet u wodn like him if he looked his age
williow: no its not that, wot is wrong with u? first angel, than rieley now spike, r u jelous?
xander: no!
anya: yea r u jelous, cuz u no datz ok wid me
xander: well ok a little
Giles: well, i dont think u being jelous is going to change buffy and wot she does, u no she can be afually stuborn somtimes
Xander: well, i jst wish he wod die
anya: who?
xander: spike!

in de grave yuard buffy and spike r fightin a group of 8 vampires

buffy: u fought these all by ur self?
spike: i have marks if u want proof
buffy: but how? on ur own?
spike: well, unlike a human unless they stake me through the haert they can't kill me
buffy: y didn u tell me bout this? and y r there so many?
spike: we r close to the hellmouth

the fight finished, all the vampires were now dusted, buffy jst stares at spike

spike: buffy?
buffy: how close?

Spike: well erm....... really close

Buffy: Do u no whats gona happen?


(Buffy turns away from Spike, and looks around)


Buffy: this is bad.



(To be continued...........)

buffy turns around and than the ground starts to shake,
spike: buffy, (as he picks her up)com bak to the crib

at giles house everyone hides under somtin, xander and anya under the table and williow and giles under a chair

spike and buffy arrive at the crib
spike: r u ok?
buffy: yea think so
Spike: wot did u fall on?
buffy: i think it woz a rock, cod u take a look
spike: were is it

buffy points to her upper thiy

spike: erm, ok
buffy pulls her skirt up a little
spike takes a minute to stare
buffy: SPIKE!!!
Spike: erm, ya! rite, ya, erm, derz deep cut
buffy: dont u hav any plasters or somthin
spike: erm ill look¨

spike findin it hard to peel his eyes off buffy,but manages he find som
SPike: here
buffy: cod u, i can't see
Spike: erm, ya
buffy: ah! stings wot is dat!
Spike: oh i had som of this(showin her a bottle) its to help infection
buffy: oh, thanks
spike puts on the plaster
spike: there
buffy: thanks, how am i spose to get home? wot if theres another shake?
Spike: u can stay here, its not that cumfy, and i usally sleep on stone but i got loads of cushions
buffy: thanks , i'll call the others

Buffy picks up her mobile and phones Willow, Willows phone starts to ring and she anwsers.


Willow: Hello

Buffy: Hia Will, it's Buffy

Willow: Hey Buffy, where are you?

Buffy: Im at Spike's, Is everyone ok?

Willow: yeah everyone's fine, how about you?

Buffy: Ermmm.... apart from a little cut im fine.

Willow: Ok, are you coming home?

Buffy: No, im gona stay at Spike's for the night, i dont wana risk getting caught in another Shake.

Willow: Oh, ok

Buffy: Ok tell everyone i'll see them tomorow ok.

Willow: yeah, ok see ya later.

Buffy: Bye Will.



Buffy puts the phone down and walks (slowly and struggly) over to Spike, who's busy trying to make a comfy bed for Buffy to sleep on.



Spike: Oh, ermm.... here's a little ermm.... somthing for you to sleep on.

Buffy: Thanks



Buffy sit's down on the bunch of cusions and blankets Spike layed out for her.

At giles house
xander: is she ok?
williow: huh?
xander: dat woz buffy rite?
williow: oh, yea shes sleepin ova spike's 4 nite
xander: wot?!!!? and ur jst gonna let that happen
williow: well, ya, shes safe there, and at least if she stays there she won't die of another shake!!!
xander: ya, well, i don trust him
williow: i neva sed u had to

at spike's

buffy: thanks
spike: sorry, but wen u live alone u don actually think about if somones gonna drop in and spend the nite
buffy: i understand, but its good, quite comfy
spike: its wot i cod find
buffy: were did u get all diz
spike: hey! i did pay 4 it
buffy: kitten pocker?
spike: ya, but jst once or twice
buffy: hmmmmm, ok, u sleep on stone?
spike: ya, well, u no, i don get cold or anythin so its good
buffy: hmmmm, cool, do u mind if , well , wot woz that thing between u and harmony?

Spike: Oh that was more then two years ago, and...... well....you dont really wana here about that, it's.....erm a long story.

Buffy: Well we got all night.

Spike: Yeah......erm.....well it started of like this.... I was a vampire, she was a vampire, we were together for a couple of months, Drusilla came back. Harmoney thought i wanted Dru back but i didn't, Well you know what happened.......With the electric rode and the me telling you i love you, and then the Dru ganging up with Harm, and then Harm shooting me with an arrow.

Buffy: Oh. So ermm....

Spike: .....I Love You, still you know.

Buffy: (imbarced) Ermmm....




Spike go's over to Buffy and kisses her pasinatly.

Spike: Oh that was more then two years ago, and...... well....you dont really wana here about that, it's.....erm a long story.

Buffy: Well we got all night.

Spike: Yeah......erm.....well it started of like this.... I was a vampire, she was a vampire, we were together for a couple of months, Drusilla came back. Harmoney thought i wanted Dru back but i didn't, Well you know what happened.......With the electric rode and the me telling you i love you, and then the Dru ganging up with Harm, and then Harm shooting me with an arrow.

Buffy: Oh. So ermm....

Spike: .....I Love You, still you know.

Buffy: (imbarced) Ermmm....




Spike go's over to Buffy and kisses her pasinatly.

Spike: Oh that was more then two years ago, and...... well....you dont really wana here about that, it's.....erm a long story.

Buffy: Well we got all night.

Spike: Yeah......erm.....well it started of like this.... I was a vampire, she was a vampire, we were together for a couple of months, Drusilla came back. Harmoney thought i wanted Dru back but i didn't, Well you know what happened.......With the electric rode and the me telling you i love you, and then the Dru ganging up with Harm, and then Harm shooting me with an arrow.

Buffy: Oh. So ermm....

Spike: .....I Love You, still you know.

Buffy: (imbarced) Ermmm....




Spike go's over to Buffy and kisses her pasinatly.

buffy doesn't draw back
but spike does

spike: i'm sorry
buffy_: erm, no, its ok
spike: nop its not, shod neva hav happened
buffy: ya well, it doesn't matter

buffy kisses him agen

spike: wot r u doin?
buffy: sorry, u and dru? wot woz ur relationship, woz it jst killin ppl or the sex or wot? did u love her?

Spike: I loved her, but she had an affair with two demons, so i couldn't be bothered with her anymore.

Buffy: oh, how did you meet?

Spike: well, i got dumped by my girlfriend and Dru came over and she turned me into a vampire. I didn't really have a passion for killing i just did it for the food.

Buffy: Did you wana be turned into a vampire?

Spike: Well i miss going out in daylight but when i got turned i became strong i could feel the energy going through me. But i still miss being normal.

Buffy: I know what ya mean.

Spike: How?

Buffy: Well before i became the Slayer i had a normal life, but then i got pulled from my normal life into a vampire infested world. Where i was the only one who could save it. And plus all the strange going ons caused my perants to split up, and i didn't really help being vampire puplic enime number one.

Spike: Oh.

spike: well if it helps your not my enemy, and i'm a vampire
buffy: ya, thanks
spike: whats your death wish?
buffy: don't know
spike: you don't want to know how it feels to be a vampire?
buffy: i ´guess part of me does
spike: ya, thats how i felt

at giles house

xander: williow do you think we should call buffy
williow: xander get to sleep
xander: i can't, maybe i should go and check on her
williow: don't go anywhere
xander: but, sp.....
williow: what about spike? , buffy trusts him
xander: the guy is a vampire and he....... r.....
williow: xander! go to sleep! no more!

Xander: but......

Willow: ......Dont make me put a sleeping spell on you!!!!

Xander: Fine sleeping now ok!

Willow: Good!

Xander: Do you even know how to put a sleeping spell on people?

Willow: Xander!

Xander: Alright! alright! (Xander fell asleep)

Willow: Thank god for that, i thought i would of had to put a sleeping spell on him for a minute there.



Willow, Giles and Anya go down stairs.


(everyone talks in wispers so Xander wont wake up)

Giles: Right lets get down to busness shall we?

Anya: you know i just had a thought wheres Dawn?

Willow: She's sleeping over her friends house tonight.

Anya: Oh.

Giles: Ok lets get on?

Willow: yes

Giles: We need to find out what is going on with The Hellmouth.

Willow: Yeah, have you got any books or something?

Anya: (loudly) Why couldn't Xander be here for this?

Willow: (quietly) Shhh.... because we dont want him poping up with Anti-Spike coments while we're trying to figure out what is happening with The Hellmouth.

Anya: (quietly) Oh.





At Spike's Crypt the conversation continues between Buffy and Spike.



Buffy: Would you every if you had the chance go back and not be turned, you know go somewhere else after you got dumped and not meet Drusilla?

Spike: I duno, i mean, if i didn't get turned i wouldn't be here i would be dead.

Buffy: Hummmm.... would you rather of lived a normal human life and die or live a vampire life and live forever?

Spike: Well nobody likes to die but it would of been good if i could live a normal human life, but im glad i became a vampire, because i would never of meet you if i hadn't.

buffy: yes well, we are enemies
spike: ya, well, i was a rght sad case back than

theres another shake

it lasts only 1 min

at the house

williow: ok we need help
giles: yes quite right, are you all ok?
anya: ya
giles: there not all going to be that small
williow: if you had let me finish i would have said spike
giles: what about him
williow: i.........
anya: you haven#t fallen for him too have you?
williow: NO, HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD HAVE AN IDEA ABOUT THIS, ad besides buffy is already there

giles: well i hate to admit it but your right, lets go
anya: i'll just wake xander
williow and giles: NO!
anya: why not
williow: xander....... spike........ not a good mix
anya: well what are wegoingto do with him?
giles: wll spose he better come

they leave

at spike's...........

buffy: yes well, we are enemies
spike: ya, well, i was a rght sad case back than

theres another shake

it lasts only 1 min

at the house

williow: ok we need help
giles: yes quite right, are you all ok?
anya: ya
giles: there not all going to be that small
williow: if you had let me finish i would have said spike
giles: what about him
williow: i.........
anya: you haven#t fallen for him too have you?
williow: NO, HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD HAVE AN IDEA ABOUT THIS, ad besides buffy is already there

giles: well i hate to admit it but your right, lets go
anya: i'll just wake xander
williow and giles: NO!
anya: why not
williow: xander....... spike........ not a good mix
anya: well what are wegoingto do with him?
giles: wll spose he better come

they leave

at spike's...........

Spike: Bluddy Shakes! are you ok Buffy?

Buffy: yeah, im fine are you ok?

Spike: yeah.


Theres a knock at the door.......


Buffy: I wonder who that could be, are you exspecting anyone?

Spike: No, Shall i anwser the door?

Buffy: You might aswell.

Spike: ok.



Spike goes over to the door and opens it.



Willow: Hi, ermmm..... Buffy's there right?

Spike: Er.... yeah come in.

Willow: Thanks. (Willow, Giles and Anya walk in)

Spike: Monkey Boy's not with you then?

Willow: No we thought it would be best if Xander stayed at home asleep. Hey Buffy

Buffy: Hi Will, What are you guys doing here?

Giles: We need help, well Spike's help acherly.

Spike: (serprised) My help?

Giles: Yes, We need to find out what's going on, with the Hellmouth and shakes.

Spike: Oh. Well i dont really know is there anything i can do?

Giles: Could you posable go to the Hellmouth or somthing?

Spike: Well i duno, i'll try and sneek in.

hmmmmmm, xbuffyxangelx how can that work? doesn't the hellmouth open? and something comes out? how can you sneak in? and em monley boy lol, did follow, im confused, sorry, i get confued easily

Well the Hellmouth is opening becaise of the shakes and Xander was called Monkey Boy once.

ok wait forget Spikes line at the end.

ok confused now! i know monkey boy is xander, i trying to say that he did fllow to spike's read my last entry, hehehehe, i think we are a littl confused, lets start again, like form when i last wrote my bit, than you write yours so i can understand a little better (l, so bad at that) and it might et a littl clearer, what do you say?

Spike: Bluddy Shakes! are you ok Buffy?

Buffy: yeah, im fine are you ok?

Spike: yeah.


Theres a knock at the door.......


Buffy: I wonder who that could be, are you exspecting anyone?

Spike: No, Shall i anwser the door?

Buffy: You might aswell.

Spike: ok.



Spike goes over to the door and opens it.



Willow: Hi, ermmm..... Buffy's there right?

Spike: Er.... yeah come in.

Willow: Thanks. (Willow, Giles and Anya walk in)

Spike: Monkey Boy's not with you then?

Willow: No we thought it would be best if Xander stayed at home asleep. Hey Buffy

Buffy: Hi Will, What are you guys doing here?

Giles: We need help, well Spike's help acherly.

Spike: (serprised) My help?

Giles: Yes, We need to find out what's going on, with the Hellmouth and shakes.

Spike: Oh. Well i dont really know is there anything i can do?

Giles: Could you posable go to the Hellmouth or somthing?