h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lots of 'em. Mostly small though:

Three inch on my left inside thigh- fell out a tree onto an upturned fallen branch.

One inch on my right knee- fell off a rope swing into a river and cut it on stones.

Two inch V shape on sole of right foot- wading in a brook with no shoes, so cold didn't realise I'd done it- someone else noticed the trail of blood when we got out.

One inch, back of right hand, three of- hand, meet glass window. Drunk, didn't notice, woke up next morning with hand glued to bedroom carpet.

Circular, back of right hand- some bloke that fought like a total girl dug his finger nail in and wouldn't let go.

One inch, right inside wrist- dunno.

Shoulder blades, both, number of- body, meet glass window.

Two inch, chin- fell off bike.

Left knee two inch- rolled under barbed fence, running from police.

Sle and top of foot, circular. Put garden fork through foot, aged 7.

Left hand, back of, multiple- see barbed wire incident.

Nose, broken, three times. Skiing accident, two of, fight, one of.

Ribs, cracked, multiple. Fight two of, bike accident, one of.

Think that's about it.

that's hard to beat!!

Icm long on thumb where my Brother tried to cut it off with an axe. I think I was 3 or 4

Inside thigh - Ripped it open on a barbed wire fence after running through the bulls padock. I was about 10 then and Mum put iodine on it . I still remember the sting of the iodine!

Small scar on my bottom. Climbing on the wood pile aged 2 with my brother and sister I slipped and sat down - hard!!

Rather large scar on left buttock: attempted insertion of thirty-foot sculling boat....


In 1997 I was out for a trip in my sculling boat before a planned outing in a four later that evening. About 15 minutes away from the boathouse on my way back, I met someone coming the other way. An occupational hazard when you spend most of your time facing the wrong way. Unfortunately we saw each other too late and collided.

Rowing boats are supposed to have a rubber ball fitted on the end, for reasons that were all too obvious at the time, but his had fallen off some time earlier. So, after pulling his boat out, we sculled back to the boathouse. Fortunately, both from a point of view of avoiding infection and of not unduly upsetting me with the extent of my injury, my lycra all-in-one did not have a hole in it, so I was peeling it down in the changing room to determine the damage when the second member of the four walked in:

"Ah, we'll not be going out tonight then."

But he did give me a lift to the hospital.

Similar disturbing story, I still have a scar on my right shin after getting a bar b q stuck on my leg whilst getting off a boat.

This is it possibly the most exciting scar story ever!!!!!!

On the back of my left hand I have the a scar from a quite seriously painful burn. The cause of this was a biro.

Yes I know what you're saying "A biro....?"

It is very posible to make the point of a biro extremely hot through friction, this involves a demented ammount of very fast scribbling. One of my school friends did this for long enough to run out the ink in his pen! And then touched the point to my hand. It HURT. REALLY HURT. REALLY REALLY HURT. Don't try it, you wont like it, trust me. The only good thing is that my so called friend couldnt feel his wrist for three days.

The scar is about 2mm X 2mm and almost invisible but I know its there.

I am surprised I have not managed to get myself on the Darwin Awards sites.

I have burnt myself several times, with an iron (I was distracted and went over my hand forward and backward), while cooking, while camping and once at work on a hot plate of about 150 oC. All resulted in large blisters, and incapacitation for a period of time.

I've had third degree sunburn once or twice.

Then I slashed my ankle with a razor while trying to shave my legs.
(Lack of sleep and severe sunburn combined with an old fashioned razor you had to tighten and I forgot to)

I crushed my foot in an exercise bike and had to have it stitched, got a black eye while scuba diving, and tore the muscles in my arms while trying to water ski.

I have nearly drowned twice and once was up to my shins in mud and an ants nest while a not so friendly buffalo wandered past. It turns out I was allergic to the ants or at least after the entire colony took a bite became allergic.

I have fallen down a flight of stairs while sober nett injuries, torn back muscles, twisted ankle, bruising on arms and face.

I have been in four car accidents one ended up with me in hospital for a suspected broken back.

As a child I fell off the steps of the house down one flight onto my back.
When my relatives were going to England on a liner my Dad was carrying me and the gangway gave way. He got injured I just remember swinging over very dirty looking water and being unable to breathe. (Dad was hanging onto me very tightly!)

I shut a door onto my own foot and took the top off my big toe, and my hand got caught in a door with some nerve damage that thankfully healed.

I lost the top off another toe and the nail when I dropped a heavy metal pipe onto it. We managed to reattach the top but the nail had to fall off in its own time.

When I tried to surf I got severly dumped and then smacked on the head by the board as it bounced into the water and back out again. Got kicked in the face by a fellow body surfer and had my lip split open.

Assorted gashes into the soles of feet from rocks/glass in water holes (once when I jumped into a small water hole to get a baby that had run away from her Dad and was in the process of drowning, so much for being a heroine).

Broken a few toes but no other bones I seem to bounce well.

The usual falling off of bikes with lots of contact with the road.

Last night I managed to burn my thumb, graze and cut (10 cm) my leg on the corner of a coffee table and cut a toe when walking in the dark. All in the space of about an hour.

So I think I have managed to do a bit of damage to myself. Although some of your accidents seem more dramatic then mine.
I am just unco ordinated.

Cheers
Gecko

Whoops just forgot I have a 10 cm scar on my leg below my knee where a dog had a go at me. Friendly sort of mutt, lived behind me and when ever I went into the back yard the fence would rock as he threw himself at it. Got out one day and I was walking past the front of the house when he did.

How could I forget that?

Gecko

Only three.

One from appendicitis operation, so doesn't really count.

The other two are from cracking my head open on two different occasions.

Once in a friend's garden, tripping and hitting a garden wall, and the other from tripping over at a wedding reception. I was the page boy and the resulting flow of blood covered the lovely frilly shirt front. Oops.

David

I have a few,

About a six inch one on the back of my head, after someone took a dislike to me and tried to level it out with a spirt level,
and the remains of a large hole in my foot, caused by that good old school boy game of splits we were using a graden prong my best friend at the time hit my foot i didnt know why he was crying and pointing at my foot untill i looked down then i joined in with him, had to get the abulance men to pull it out, harmless school holidays used to be so much fun,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,NOT

My childhood doesn't sound nearly as eventful.

I have one on my hand from managing to gouge myself with my own fingernail, one on my ankle from slicing off some of my skin while shaving my legs, and one that isn't exactly a scar, but I have a small dent in my left temple from flipping over the handlebars of my bike when I was about 5.

Hmm - where to begin? I'll start on my feet and work my way up.
Feet: None on my left foot, a scar on each of my toes on my right foot from a recent bike accident, a small scar on my right ankle from walking bare-foot onto glass.
Knees - a scar on each knee, both the size of a 50p piece, from getting run over when I was 8, a larger scar on my left knee from jumping on my bed, missing the mattress and hitting the steel frame, 3 weeks after I'd been hit by the car
Groin: a 6-inch scar on my scrotum acquired from an operation
Hands: 15 small scars between them from various sharp implements. A 7-inch scar between my ring and index fingers from a spade
Arms: Various feline-induced cuts. An inch-long cut on my left arm from falling on a steel strip. A scar the size of a 20p piece from another recent cycling accident.
Face/head: Scar just above my eyebrow caused by play-fighting and at the very top of my head a 3-inch diameter scar from an injury that happened while I was still in the womb

A 50p sized dent in my left shin, caused by standing on a bar stool to put things away on a very high shelf, falling off, catching shin on corner of desk as I went down... Took such a chunk out.

Scar on left knee from when I fell over running along a gravelled road. I was in my twenties, and I still howled like a toddler.

Scar on right knee where I caught it on a broken spring sticking out of the back of a car-seat, while trying to climb out of the back seat of said car.

Two red raised round bumps on left leg, burns from cinders blowing off a bonfire.

Twelve inch neat white line horizontally across lower abdomen, from having huge great cyst removed.

Little white scar on left wrist - trying to catch glasses falling off a shelf.

Little white scar on left fore-finger - moment of carelessness with the bread-knife.

Tiny line on right side of forehead, caused by falling over the Complete Works of William Shakespeare and hitting head on bookshelf.

Hmm. Average or not? My partner has one scar and one scar only, a round shiny mark on his ankle. He was blown of his feet during the Famous Gale of 1987 and scraped all the skin off. This being the Hurricane That Will Not Be.

My other half's no good control subject- he's ex-army. He's got a couple of jock-off scars on his leg from a hand granade.