h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee."
-Augustine
Chauncey

Well, I've got lots of favorite quotes but the two that I enjoy the most have to be>

1. All old people should be shot at birth - Scott Adams (not related to Douglas Adams)

2. Don't worry! We'll burn that bridge when we get to it - Richard Dean Anderson

I always wondered if they were related in any way....


'I'm free!' -Mr Humphries, aka John Inman

Hello everyone...Well this isn't a quote but, because I am a co-founder I am going to post this here. I just wanted to encourage all of you that are US citizens to go vote. Whether you vote for Bush or Kerry (I'd rather you vote for Bush, but...), your vote is still extremely important.
Thanks,
Chauncey

"There are two way's of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T. Washington

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." George W Bush

"I had a lover's quarel with the world"

- Robert Frost

Hmm. Perhaps we should have a 'Statements of the Obvious' thread.

One that annoys me no end is one from the former British Rail, "We apologise for the late running of this service. This is due to the late running of the previous service". i.e. not a genuine reason at all.

From Stephen Fry:
Countryside - I thought that meant 'killing Piers Morgan'

In my life why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?
Morrissey... ever the optimist...

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, (pause)"I drank what?!"

-Guess what the T. stands for.
-Er, Thomas?
-Edgar. You were close though. You were close, and you still are I'll bet.

I have two that are similar, and not sure which is the original:
You can't dance with the devil and expect to lead.
------------OR------------------
You can't ask the devil to dance, and expect to name the tune.

Anyone know which is correct, or at least, original? I believe it's from the X-Files, but if anyone knows an older source, I'd appreciate it.

'Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale of the moonlight?
I always ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it.'
-Jack Nicholson, Batman


Hitchhiker's Guide movie!! May 2005!! AUGH! SO HAPPY!

I've slept in dumpsters. I might have slept on babies.
Ruth in Citizen Ruth, directed by Alexander Payne a Nebraska native!!
Chauncey

they say tht drugs arent the answer but what was the question?

'The fact that there is no need for people to die of starvation and that people are dying of starvation is a fact of some importance one would think.' - Antonio Gramsci

'I've got an 'oriible 'eadache', she would say, but did not understand my father's wit when he said all she needed was a couple of aspirates.' - from Little Wilson and Big God by Anthony Burgess

'Heterosexuality is not 'normal' - merely common' - St Derek of Dungeness

'Infamy, infamy - they've all got it in for me!' - Kenneth Williams as Juluis Caesar in Carry On Cleo

'Comeclose and Sleepnow/ for in the morning /when a policeman disguised as the sun /creeps into your room /and your mother /disguised as birds/ calls from the trees/ and refusing coffee /run /all the way /home.' - Roger McGough

'Their starry talk's a wheen o' blethers' - from 'The Bonnie Broukit Bairn' by Hugh McDiarmid

....and the whole of this poem: http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/chicktow.html


NOTE TO WHIRLWIND (above) It always puzzles me why people think that Morrisey was miserable. One can only truly appreciate his songs when one realises how *funny* they are meant to be. I mean...If a ten ton truck/ smashes into us'....

Oops!

Not only did I miss out some crucial lines from 'Comeclose and Sleepnow' - but I attributed it to the wrond poet. It's by Adrian Henri. It should have read:

Comeclose and Sleepnow /for in the morning /when a policeman /disguised as the sun /creeps into the room /and your mother /disguised as birds /calls from the trees/ you will put on a dress of guilt /and shoes with broken high ideals /and refusing coffee /run /allthe way /home.

The full poem can be seen here: http://www.ugr.es/~mfalces/CRITICA_LINGUISTICA/DIARIO/Handout%201_10_graphological_phonological_%20deviation.htm (I slightly shortened it to avoid moderation for breach of copyright)

While I'm at it:
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, /dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix
- from Howl by Allen Ginsberg

"If you are stupid, you most shurely will suffer!"
-Jonas Nilsson

"There's nothing like a bit of success for getting you out of the house" - Elton John.

"Nothing succeeds like a parrot"

A.N.Onymous

Elton John quotes, eh? I've got a ton of those <she says while proudly displaying her Elton John's Dark Diamond t-shirt!).

'I'm always going to do what I want to do. And if somebody doesn't like it they can leave or go do what they want to do.'
'Rude vile pigs! That's what you are!'
'America has been my second home for many years. I've slept with half of it.'

And my favorite....
'I couldn't give a ! I make music, I don't ing make film! I hate ing videos; they're ing loathesome! And I'll tell you this, I'm not making this video.'