A Conversation for Talking Point: Schools and Violence

Bullying

Post 21

Tango

What i find it is, is the thick people are the cool people so everyone follows their example. smiley - sadface

Tango


Bullying

Post 22

Cakewalker

I think that can be partly down to inverted snobbery and no-one respecting what education can do for them. My partner's from Taiwan, and was horrified to hear what goes on in some British schools with regards bullying. Apparently it simply doesn't happen there - either that or she was lucky to go to a school of very well behaved youngsters. Their society demonstrates how positive education is, so you're not seen as being 'weird' if you try hard and succeed academically. Personally I think they go too far - in Britain if you succeed you're bullied by your peers, in Asia you can be put under tremendous pressure to succeed and failing can be devastating. A balance has to be achieved - failing shouldn't be seen as the 'career option' many people in Britain see it as being, but it's in the very nature of people that they're not all the same standard and this must be catered for, not hidden.


Bullying

Post 23

Smudger879n

Hi There, I saw a documentry on discovery about education in Japan, it was scarey!smiley - erm In some cases if a student does not reach his goal, or the goal his family have set him! They often comit suicide rather than bring shame to their familysmiley - wah Now to me that is just stupid, I mean I was by no means bright at school, but I did manage to go out into the world and earn enough money to bring up my family and indeed finished up as far as I wanted to go.smiley - cheersSmudger.


Bullying

Post 24

combattant pour liberte

At least they weren't shouting at you.
(And I hear metaphorical Conventry is good this time of year...)


Bullying

Post 25

combattant pour liberte

I think I saw that, or one like it. It was crazy, these kids had to do a test over and over again, and couldn't go to sleep until they passed. Some kids were driven to being hermits, i.e. refusing to leave their rooms for years.


Bullying

Post 26

combattant pour liberte

I agree. I'm proud not to be cool!
Oh and Tango--you're cool! smiley - smiley


Bullying

Post 27

Tango

I'm not "cool" and i know it, and i'm not bothered about it.

Tango


Bullying

Post 28

combattant pour liberte

I was merely saying you were an idiot, based on your hypothesis that cool people are idiots.


Bullying

Post 29

Tango

If P then Q does not imply if Q then P. In other words, i said idiots were cool, not the other way round.

Tango


Bullying

Post 30

combattant pour liberte

Fine. Any more interesting gramatical/sematical tidbits? smiley - smiley


Bullying

Post 31

Tango

That was logical.

Tango


Bullying

Post 32

Cakewalker

It'd be handy here if we had different words for 'cool' as in the stereotype Tango pointed out at the top of the page and 'cool' as in being respected by the person calling you cool (if you see what I mean) smiley - bigeyes Easy to misenterpret slang.


Bullying

Post 33

Tango

True, as far as h2g2 is concerned i use "cool" for the first one and "smiley - cool" for the 2nd.

Tango


Bullying

Post 34

emo_kid- that's meee alright!

is any body still having this conversation because i have a ponlem with a lot of bullies who unfortunatly for me i'm the victim because i dress differenty and have a diffrernt type of taste for music. HELP!!


Bullying

Post 35

emo_kid- that's meee alright!

is any body still having this conversation because i have a poblem with a lot of bullies who unfortunatly for me i'm the victim because i dress differenty and have a diffrernt taste for music. HELP!!


Bullying

Post 36

TRiG (Ireland) A dog, so bade in office

Well, the last post before yours was from 2003, but conversations on h2g2 never die, they merely slumber.

Hi again, emo_kid.

I recall some good conversations on "Ask h2g2" about bullying. I'll try to dig one up for you (with the conversation search broken, this can be difficult).

I was bullied a little at school, for not fitting in. But there was almost no physical violence, just a bit of name calling. And it was alright, because I did have friends. You don't need everyone to love you, and as long as there are some people you can rely on, you can look the rest of the world in the eye and tell it to get lost. Seriously, if someone you have absolutely no respect for doesn't like you, that's actually a good thing, isn't it?

What problems exactly are you having? In school or out? How old are you (roughly)? These will all affect the advice that people might offer you.

Anyway, emos are cool. In their own strange way, of course! Anyone who has the courage to be him-/herself is cool, really. (Did I just use the word /cool/?)

The only problem is that "I don't care what people think of me" can in itself become a pose. You do care what people think of you: you want them to think you don't care.

On the other hand, if there's physical bullying, not caring won't solve your problems. And if it's verbal bullying from a lot of people, not caring is near to impossible.

There's an excellent book called Bullies, Bigmouths, and so-called Friends. Look it up. Ask your local librarian. It might even be in your school library.

TRiG.smiley - ok


Bullying

Post 37

emo_kid- that's meee alright!

well there's pushing and tripping me up in the corridors in school. There's verbal abuse out side school. In school some people like to take my stuff in french and throw it out the window so I have to go all the way down there and all the way back up. Oh yeh my age is 14.
Thatnks for calling me cool smiley - smiley.

emo_kid_08


Bullying

Post 38

TRiG (Ireland) A dog, so bade in office

In work now, so can't chat.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bullies-Bigmouths-So-called-Friends-Alexander/dp/0340911840

Shall say more later.

TRiG.smiley - booksmiley - smileysmiley - cool


Bullying

Post 39

emo_kid- that's meee alright!

ok then! smiley - smiley


Bullying

Post 40

TRiG (Ireland) A dog, so bade in office

It sounds bad; worse than what I went through, certainly.

You probably can solve it. Almost definitely, actually, but perhaps not on your own. Draw on your supports. What supports do you have? Your parents? Your year head/form tutor/whatever? The school counselor, if there is one? Certain teachers? Also your friends, though its people with authority you want if you're going to try the tactic my mother suggested when I put this to her.

Here's a question for you: Do you enjoy school? Do you get anything useful out of going to school? I suspect the answers are No and Very little. It's hard to learn anything properly when you're being bullied. In that case, here's another question: Why do you go to school? What's the point?

The school has an anti-bullying policy. Every school does. (They may not implement it very well, but it does exist.) Tell them to use it. Go to your supports in the school: your headmaster, form tutor, or whatever, and tell them that this is their problem. They have a policy to stop bullying. Their policy isn't working. So it's up to them to fix it. And give them an ullitmatum: if they don't fix it, you're going to stop coming to school. Why go to school to be bullied? (You'll have to run this by your parents too, of course, but it's reasonable enough, so they should support you. It's part of the school staff's responsibility to prevent bullying. If they aren't doing their job properly, why should you be in the building?)

A note: Don't make threats you can't or won't fulfill. Don't threaten to stop coming to school unless you actually intend do that.

***

I listed 'certain teachers' among your possible allies. It's also possible that certain teachers don't like you, and are actually covertly (and perhaps unconsciously) encouraging the bullies. It's very hard to prove this, of course, but if you do have real evidence against a teacher, do bring it forward to the proper authorities.

***

TRiG.smiley - smileysmiley - hug


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