h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have a friend who has tried to commit suicide more than twice because of pathetic and shallow name calling at our secondry school. She now realises that people at our age (15-16) should have grown up by now and she now ignores them.

But just walking around my school I saw the most pathetic display of bullying I have ever seen. Of course I had my fair share of dishing out name calling and pinching when I was in primary school but the things I saw were gangs of boys bullying one boy on more than one occasion. It's shocking.

Ever heard of karma? Let's just hope it works...

What is classed as bullying needs to change. I was ignored at every school I went to but the teachers' views were "oh well, we can't like everybody".

I still get that attitude now.

I myself am bullied at secondary school, and just because I am not "normal" in a few (all right, perhaps a lot of) ways: I started knitting at age 10 (remember that I am a boy), I like classical music,
I like railway modelling, I absolutely DETEST sports (except cricket), I enjoy schoolwork, and, above all, am very quiet. I have grouped together with some other boys in Year 7 to form a group called "The Boffins" . Needless to say, we are feared across the playground! By grouping together, we help each other out, and I would thoroughly recommend this for anybody who suffers from bullying. We are also lucky in having a "head of special needs" who is a teacher who will help in the case of bullying. I agree that bullying can be hurtful, even if it is verbal. If I am alone, I just tend not to react, just nodding occasionally, and pretending not to notice sarcasm in peoples' voices. It might also help that after reading Douglas Adams, I always have a towel on me!

It disturbs me how much originality and creativity a lot of kids must subdue in the face of bullying. Stick with your hobbies, 216547, your country needs you (this is not to say that you were planning to give them up - was just voicing support...). For the record, my interests as a kid included classical music and Lego and, yes, I did get ribbed for those and my dislike of sport. I'm sad to say I'm not really sure of an answer - I was part of a group, though we were a pretty varied bunch, and my response to the bullies of not showing emotion meant I wasn't great at showing emotion when it was safe to. The fact I was in a school large enough to allow me to spend my free time away from them doing what I wanted to do helped enormously, and that was down to great teachers putting in the effort and time to provide those opportunities. Ironically, I know the increased buraucracy and paperwork teachers have to tackle in the name of the government's meaningless league tables mean there's less time for teachers to help kids outside of lessons and so probably plays into the hands of the bullies Lets hope that politicians learn soon that good teaching isn't something that can be measured numerically.

*wondering what a knitted model train would look like *

I've actually been writing a paper on the subject of people hiding their creative interests and abilities. I've noticed it a lot at college (A-level). Although bullying rarely happens at A-level colleges, it's amazing how you can find very creative people (my college is a hive of creative writers, painters, photographers (me included), digital artists (Photoshop etc), musicians and other creative people in general). But as soon as you talk to them about it, they suddenly quieten down and try to bring the subject back to what they usually talk about (shoes, sex, pop music etc). I find it pretty disgusting that, as I'm interested in listening to what people have to say about something different. If they can talk with passion about a subject, preferably something creative (and not TOO technical, so as not to fry my brain...) then I'm up for listening to them.

Bullying Im afraid to say is not just a school thing, you will find bullies in every stage of your life. Even in old age there are bullies,I have even seen them in old folks homes. It is a sad fact that even by the time they reach that age, they still need to bully. I used to run transport taking the elderly to day hospitals, and on a few occasions I had to stop the vehicle to move someone away from a bully! You usually find that if you stand up to them, or show them up in front of the people they are bullying they will back down. It seems to be a thing that stays with them all through their sad lives.
Smudger.

I found at school the best way to think about bullies was a story of a girl who was very badly bullied, but kept on with her studies and eventually she got through uni and became a high flying business woman earning rediculously large amounts of money. and everyday she goes to Mcdonalds and behind the counter was the girl who used to bully her earning minimum wage stuggling to look after a load a screaming kids and slob of a husband in a council flat.

I suppose it a bit nasty but its nice to think that some people get some sort of pay back

Mostly it's just sad, though.

There were several bullies at my form at school, and I was one of their targets. It used to bother me in years 7 and 8, but then I just realised that they weren't going to get anywhere. Some of them were really annoying me once, pushing me down the corridor. I turned round, waited until there were lots of people around (we were just leaving class), and then really shouted at them. They didn't expect it. As far as they knew I was a quiet person who would not stand up for myself. I had embarased them in front of everyone, and they never bothered me again.

The sad part of the story is what happened to some of the others in my form. They never stopped being 'bullies'. They left school at GCSE. Two of them have been in prison for joy riding, one for offending a police officer, and another is still in prison for assisting in a murder.

I'm at university now, but when I went home for Christmas I saw one of the people who used to buly me until I shouted at them. They were working in a clothes shop and hadn't got good grades at A-level. I didn't feel I was getting payback. I felt sorry for them. All those people I knew could of made something out of their lives, but it will be very hard for them to make a come back now.

Bullies often feel powerless (believe it or not) and by forcing others to feel powerless it increases their self-esteme.
Unfortunately this doesn't help the victims.
I often ask the victims of name calling (I'm a high school teacher) "Why do you care what a mindless bully thinks of you anyway?" It puts in a bit of perspective. I always try and intervene. Both for the victim and for the bully.
I often ask the bully if they enjoy being hated. Fear is not respect. Then I help them find ways to fix the problem. Often this involves tapping into their talents. Doesn't always work, but I hate failing kids, and both victims and bullies need support.

After a lot of bullying against me, I decided to do what most people at school do when people hit them: retaliate.

And now for some reason I am now 'mental' and a 'girl-beater' (what would tou do if a crazy girl whacked you over the head with a metal crutch?).

By the way, I'm a sixteen-year-old boy almost out of secondary school.

Another point. It is ridiculous that the UK government's response to high expulsion figures was to make it almost impossible (in some cases) to expel people: remember those boys who phoned death threats through to their teachers who won an appeal against being expelled.

cbl, you have to admit though, you aren't entirly "sane"...

Tango

There seems to be a connection between the dislike of sport and being bullied. A few people have mentioned it.

It was the that way for me: no love for sports of any kind... but I did enjoy things of a more 'cerebral' bent, so I was a librarian, helped with the tuck shop, worked in the lighting gallery of the arts theatre... that sort of thing.

I also very rarely fought back: I'd just stand there whilst people laid into me. I was very much of the opinion that it was pointless to fight back since that would just provoke them. Very occasionally, I would lose my temper: I realise now that this is just what they were trying to get to happen... it was referred to as 'having a fit'.

Frequently there seemed to be so many 'agressors' that I wondered if they laid on coaches sometimes so that bullies from other schools could come along to join in.

Things only really calmed down when there was a big rumpous over my being given death threats cut out of newspaper: although it took quite a while before I told anyone that I was getting them. When I look back now, it seems very weird. I'm sure that had I told someone earlier it would never have got as bad as it did... but then again fear tends to keep the mouth shut.

I'm alright now though...

G.

I don't think the link is between disliking sport and being bullied. Rather it is a 2 step link, people that bully are normally "low achievers", therefore the bully "high achievers", "high achievers" often dislike sport, so therefore bullies bully non-sporty peeps. QED

I was bullied and didn't like sport, so i fit the hypothesis. I didn't retaliate much (beyond trying to block their punches or whatever). I did tell teachers when it happened at first, but i found that they didn't do anything, and the bullying just increased because you had "dobbed them in".

Tango

To Tango
And you are a prime example of sanity are you, Tango?

CBL

Dear Tango

You should take of leaf out of good old Mental Alex's book (that's my real name my the way, everyone else).

CBL

Sanity? Me? Never. How boring would that be?

Which leaf do you mean?

Tango

The crazy, mental, over-retaliation leaf.

I was often given the "silent" treatment by the whole school. They can't all have been thick. They just decided I was different in some way and that was that.