h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I did nothing for my brothers birthday yesterday

It was the first time I decided to ignore him on his birthday. I thought I would send a card but after reflection I would have been sending it for me, not him. He made it clear no communication would be easiest for him, so sending him anything is against his wishes and would creat havoc. It also might keep false hope alive for me.
No thanks to false hopes...
He is not into birthdays so I doubt he will notice.

Christams he might, I have always baked him his favorite cookies, he said they meant more to him than any present. It meant a lot (to me)to give him something from the memories of Christmases past, some sort of positive family tradition.

Desertion is a common occurance from past.
Now it is his choice , his doing, his pleasure.

Thought HE would never choose this route
*grumble,mumble and stumble*

I'm so sorry abbi.

You make me realize how lucky I am.

Aww, Abbi dear, don't let your brother's grinch like behavior make you so sad. I know it is hard having a holiday with him estranged. Just remember that you are a wonderful person - you bring a lot of joy to my life.

JEllen

I'm sorry to hear that your brother wants no communication with you Abbi.

I don't mean this to sound trite, but maybe in time he will come to want you in his life again.
If not, then at least you know the situation and can then heal your own

Hi Abbi.I know what you are going thru,because i have a sister that does'nt want anything to do with me,and i dont know why..its been a few years ago now just after i lost my dad,she said she did not want to bother with me or my mom again and that was the week after his funeral, sometimes see her in the town she just passes me by,my eldest daught stopped her one day and asked her what we had done my sister just said to leave her alone....and thats what we have done.she never came to see my mom when she was ill in hospital.and she did not come to here funeral..i will never forgive her for that.

Sorry you have experienced it too Misty

Leo thanks and I do not consider it trite for you to say.

I have to give up hoping in the short run.
I do not need to focus on the hole,
and I cannot make it whole alone.
I think I am finally out of shock and just now accepting it as real.

Weird how somebody can despise a person or thing only to become that very thing. His mystifying choice has been made.

Thanks GB - your reaction is the good that can come of it

Ellen that is very sweet.

I wish your Holiday was a bit lighter.
Good Luck to your Mom and friend that are suffering.

They are lucky to have you around
I am lucky to know you.

Horrible as it seems, in this case, blood ain't thicker than water.

A hell of a lot of water separates us, but you have folks on here who love you to bits.

Sometimes i am actually quite glad i don't have family when i see the hurty stuff that goes on.





Terri

Same here. My family is rather...stretched with communications and I don't have any immediate family really except my parents and I'm not all that close to them. It makes me feel glad.

I'm real sorry you have to go through this abi. It sounds flippant to say it might blow over but you never know. Short term though you're right...it just needs to be dealt with. I know how strong you are so I believe that you will deal with this and come through stronger and even more wonderful

How your brother is treating you right now is weird and hurtful. I'm sure it will be hard to leave him alone this year for his birthday and xmas but it sounds like the right thing to do. Hard to give up hope too. But painful as it must be for you it is *his loss*.

I agree with Hellie, abbi "painful as it must be for you it is *his loss*" *sigh*.

Dear Abbi*,

I would not mind to be your brother. starts packaging himself xmas .

I reading your hootoo posting.

e-greetings
pheloxi

* sounds like agony aunt!

Dear abbi,you already know my feelings on this,we have discussed it.
I think you have dealt with the situation in the best way possible,and as much as it hurts you,maybe he ought to be thinking that there will come a point when YOU will be the one that wants no contact,because of what he's done.
People that hurt others as he has done never think that the tables could be turned,and tend to think they can pick up where they left off shuld they choose.Have a wonderful christmas,and enjoy all the that so many send your way.xx

Hi Abbi

you are being very brave, and sensible. There comes a time, when you must take a stand. I did that with my parents and we ended up with a much better relationship because of it. That could happen for you as well, but if it doesn't thats okay too.

I remember everything you wrote about what happened with your brother, and I think he has treated you very unfairly. There comes a time when you have to spend your energy on those who deserve it.

It is sad though, I bet he will miss those cookies, its sounded like such a sweet thing to do. Families are very difficult sometimes.

Good luck in taking your stand though.

Hi Abbi, I know what you are going through as regards to your brother
I have exactly the same problem with my sister!! who for some reason only known to her, as took an instant dislike to Mk2 ever since we got together

As far as I can see its her loss, as Mk2 has a wonderful personality, and gets on well with everyone she meets

When it come right down to it, I would rather share every minute of the time we have left together, than contact my twisted sister
Smudger,

I have a saying for you Abbi that I heard recently:

Don't go where you're tolerated - go where you're celebrated.

Hi, Leo,

What a brilliant sentiment and one well worth remembering for all of us. Life is hard enough without letting ourselves get hurt deliberately.

Abbi,

I am so sorry you have such problems. I have no brothers or sisters, and I have often wondered what it would be like. However, having heard of so many family feuds etc. I think I am probably better off on my own. Very happy families are wonderful things, but it is often hard work to keep them that way, and often means the same people making the sacrifices and effort all the time.

Enjoy the people who DO love you and value your friendship. Someone I know says, if you can't change it, put it away, and I think that is what you need to do. If he approaches you, you will then have to decide whether to mend bridges or not.

Happy Christmas, and an even better New Year,


Websailor

All very good wisdom here.
I do feel better after pasing THE day..

I respond well to sayings that I can repeat to myself.
Once I know they are true for me, they are soothing.
Thanks

Abbi, I have a sister with whom communication is strained. It takes an awful lot of energy worrying about what went wrong and being on my best behaviour when I see her (walking on eggshells). I would also prefer to distance myself but can't for fear of upsetting my mother. So much wasted energy!
I think a good punch-up would sort us out.
If only I wasn't a pacifist