h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

yo mama is so fat she recently got her own postal code

yo mama is so fat her belt size is equator

yo mama is so fat that you have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot

yo mama is so fat that greenpeace tried to pull her into the sea when she was lying on the beach

My fave -

Yo momma's so fat she has other fat women in orbit around her.

Your mamma's so fat that when sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house

Your mamma's so bow-legged that when she runs it looks like and egg beater

Your mamma's so ugly she makes onions cry

Your mamma's so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her mother

Your mamma's so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of beef franks

Your mamma's like Crisco - Fat in the can.

Your mamma's teeth so yellow, when she smiles people tell her to spit out the orange

yo mamma is so stupid, if you add 10 points to her IQ you will have zero

Yo mamma's so old when god said, "let there be light," she hit the switch.

Your mamma's so fat, every time she turns round it's her birthday!

Yo Mamma's so ugly, if she dies they have to donate her body to science fiction

And science fiction donates here right back to you

Did we do this one? Yo mamma so dumb, she takes a ruler to bed to see how long she sleeps.

I'm not sure, good one, though!

My favourite one (told to me 5 years ago)

Your mamma is so big and oily when people found her belly-button, oil refineries had a field day.

What?

Nothing.

Don't lie to him/her/it. It's bad enough they did a bad joke and spoilt the run of things. Whoops. I just did it.

Look up playing the dozens for some more.

RULE ANARCHY.

??

Doesn't matter. I even confuse myself. I'll be beaming back to the mother ship now.
RULE ANARCHY.

Ah all is explained, you're delusional!

And How!

Back to topic, Ladies and Gentleman:
Your momma is so stupid that she said: If the next suicide doesn`t work I`ll kill myself