A Conversation for 'Subbies' Mess Hall

Some subbing advice

Post 1

Gnomon - time to move on

I'm subbing A History of Bollywood Part 1. It's very heavy going and I'm having to make a lot of changes, so I'm just here looking for reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

Original: A45253415
My version so far: A52491323

Consider for example the following sentence:

Raj Kapoor, whose real name was Ranbirraj Kapoor, elder brother of Shammi and Shashi Kapoor, father of Randhir, Rishi and Rajeev Kapoor and grandfather of actresses Karishma and Kareena Kapoor and actor Ranbir Kapoor (who is also known as Ranbirraj), was born on 14 December, 1924 and was the son of the actor Prithviraj Kapoor.

Should I break it up into lots of sentences, cut out a lot of the apparently irrelevant biographical detail or rewrite it as a table?

smiley - smiley


Some subbing advice

Post 2

AlexAshman


Definitely no tables - they don't appear on the mobile version of the guide. I'd say cut out the family details, or at least demote them to a footnote. smiley - smiley


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