h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*you have been brave enough to enter, but you are not sure if it was wise. Righly so! Justinside the door you find yourself in a large hall. It is dark so you light a candle you have found on the floor. Suddenly the whole mansion is alight with candles! Who lit them?
To your rightyou see a room with a lit fireplace. There are two large chairs in front of it. Someone appears to be occupying one of them......*

Mrrooooooooowwwww!!!

Mrow ow ooooowwwwww!!!

um....yeah.

kinda took away the darkness and the mystery there with two non-words. how do you do it kitty?

PHENOM

I'm howlin.

well in that case come sit next to my chair by this nice warm logfire. i promise the first person through that door is yours to eat if you so wish.

PHENOM

YAY!

*curls up by the chair and purrs*

*steps inside unaware of most things
hello anyone thair!!!

*there is a stirring from one of the large armchairs by the lit fire. a black robed figure stands inciting the image of DEATH. he turns to you but you don't see his face as it is hooded, but you think you just caught a glimpse of the eyes. they were a piercing glow of red! it is THE PHENOM himself who is about to speak to you.*

welcome young one. you come to battle with the demons of the forest. i will give you some advise. if you encounter any witches, run. they are never alone. you may use any weapons you wish to. for what ever good that will do. now go to the forest, and beware!

THE PHENOM

wepons...... WHY do i never remember the wepons
*remembers she has a sword she picked up somewhare
exept this one
oh well it is good enough

it is all you will need.

THE PHENOM

oh a lot of help this will be

*HDS arrives in the building*

Hello?

*looks around*

What now?

*starts to mull about while humming "And All That Jazz"*

*the only sound coming from the front room is that of the log fire and the tv, which is tuned into the rugby. occassionally a cheer from the occupant. *

4 trys in 15 minutes.

*HDS walks into the front room*

Hyia!

*PHENOM looks round from his seat.*

ah, take a pew my man. there's cold beer in the cool box.

walks into front room
*sits in large chair
england 28 italy 0
come on england........
offers to phantom

*Emerging from the shadows is Craxus.*

Hello...

hi would you like some

*Sits down, pulls a flask from his black trench coat, takes a swig*

Sorry, I can't stand beer.

sure, thanks

*Takes some , eats some *

Yummy!