h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*comes staggering out of trees holding empty bottle of malt.*

well, i gueesh i'll...i wil...will be headin on back to the farm for a lie down me thinks...*hiccup*...wheres the gate *spins around in over exagerated way looking for the gate* ok, which one o you pranksters stole the gate. i swear it was right here yesterady.

*the gate is in fact still there but crecahy is a tad drunk and is actually seeing 4 of them and doesn't know which one to walk towards.*

Creachy I will hold your hand and help you walk up to the gate, the right one. I hope are not going to see Hughe and Ralph when you are going through.

I have just witnessed a very strange football match. A system Lord - The Sherrif of Nottingham who looks like Brian Clough is arguing with imagery football players. It seem that this sytem Lord is as well.

jgl

musht be an ARSEnal fan, *takes jgl's hand* lead the way princess!

Creachy

jgl

ok i gotta ask. it has been noted you are a little soppy of late. who is the lucky guy you are trying to make fall in love with you?

*there is a distant whooshing noise when suddenly 3 deathgliders zoom past overhead. they do a u-turn and head back to the stargate position and begin firing on the woodsmen. they wipe them all out with merciless precision and begin to focus their attack on the SGC. Jaffa troops are approaching from 2 miles north. it appears the Go'auld have come to reclaim P3X489!*

BATTLE POSTITIONS!!!

*Craxus rushs over and heads into a bunker made by Chronos. He takes aim with his P90 as he looks through the scope and aims at the closest jaffa's face.*

*the jaffa fan out and take up offensive positions, the deathgliders comearound for a second attack and blitz the local area. the Jaffa begin firing at the SGC position.*

*Chronos turn on the missle array and targets the death gliders, then jumps into his modified death glider and takes off to dogfight with the attackers*

PREPARE TO DIE!

*Chronos targets Shal'pek's Glider and fires a guided missle at him*

*shal'pek,like a true god, does not actually fight himself, but you may be lucky enoughto be facing his first prime. the missile fired at glider 'A' is intercepted by some magnificent cover fire by glider 'B' which then falls in to position at the rear of chronos and opens fire!gliders A and Ccontinue to lay down cover fire on the SGC positionsas the Jaffa advance.*

*Chronos banks up and to the right avoiding getting shot up, then does a loop pulling many G's and lines himself up on Glider B from behind and opens fire with another guided missle and staff weapon*

*the glider is taken by surprise and hit. it explodes! glider C pulls off itsground attack and bee-lines towards chronos from a low altitude firing at his undercarriage.*

*Chronos takes a hit to the undercarriage and the newly attached missle launcher is useless, mad that he can no longer use his missles Chronos inverts the glider cuts the throttle and noses down pionting himself at the attaacking glider and opens fire with his staff weapons*

*using the wagging technique the glider is able to avoid most blasts but does take a hit to the weapons system rendering it useless.the Jaffa decides it is now a game of chicken!*

*Chronos loves chicken espically when he has energy weapons and the oncoming glider does not, Chronos fires at the approaching dead meat jaffa*

*who quickly turns into shish kebab. glider a takes the tactical retreat and the ground Jaffa start laying on heavy fire on the SGC position. they have also setup 2 large staff cannons and are opening upon chronos.*

*The missle battery on the roof of the bunker begins laying suppressive fire on the artilary*

*Chronos throttles back up and begins firing at the ground troops while flying low to the ground to avoid the artilary, Chronos is glad he renforced the armor on the glider as he is most likely taking small arms fire from the ground*

guys Shal'pek is actually in the CGE headquarters he's guiding the attack from here I'm doing my best to distract him

PS sorry Hussassan it's the beret and 'tach that got me confused

*goes off to try and seduce Shal'pek, it worked for Mata Hari*

Creachy here are some clues to his identity

He looks like a cross between a young Obi Wan Kenobi and Qui Gon.
He is a Jedi Knight.
He is strong in the Force.
He is a Terran.
His use of the light saber is masterful as Yoda and Mace Windu.
His Jedi Name is Poul Srich UrraG tnegrad - meaning The Silver One.


Katrine

Jedi Girl Learner Uses her hand held missile launchers to attack the Death Gliders with. JGL scores a hit with one.


JGL