h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*opens cupboard*

*pulls out flagpole*

*sets it up on highest point*

Um, RD...where's the flag?

:Blows flag on top of pole:
There ya are!

*In the classic fashion of Vash the Stampede, Mystrunner runs around making 'ooh!' 'Aak!' and 'Ee!' noises, ackward poses, and a fool of himself.*

*BOOM*

*wanders out from the CHOPPERS forum, still in his hand*

What was that? Have we won yet?

Sorry just practising

Oh, don't mind me. I was just wondering.

*sits down with and surveys the battlefield*

Looks like we did win

*wonders if someone who spent most of the time tied up by the villains is entitled to assume the 'our work here is done' pose*

wow, you heros sure have syncronized online times... plus, I'd like to see a butterfly try to carry an assault rifle

*The combat virgins get instantly distracted by the swarms of butterflys, leaving NYC alone to charge ahead and deal with... six heros. SIX heros?! With powers like instantaneous matter transferral, the ability to control the weather, the tectonic plates, and even more weaponry than NYC?*

*Time to make the villainous escape! NYC pulls a hole from his pocket, drops it on the ground, and hops into it. The hole disappears and so does he*

*Meanwhile, Cherry slides, bounces and rolls down the hill; cuts, bruises, scratches, and dust galore. Her assault rifle with sky blue highlights slides down slowly after her and meets her at the bottom, but why worry about that when there's a ready-use cannon here, too? She hops over to it, bloodlust on the minds, and aims at the first figure she can find, which is apparently putting up a flagpole in the distance...*

NO!!!!!!
::Weather Girl walks determinedly towards Cherry and buries her under a pile of snow. Rains on the cannon 'till it rusts::

RUN, SARGE!!!
::Flies away on a storm cloud::

cannons don't rust in the rain...

*Cherry, knocked down by the pile of snow, grabs the controls for the cannon to keep from suffocating. The cannon swings upwards from her force, and... *accidentally* fires in the general direction of Weather Girl*

Accidentally, my
::Throws yet another pile of snow on Cherry and makes cannon ball explode in mid-air with lightning bolt::

*appearing from behind a not yet vapourised rock*

excuse me?

Yes, Greg?

I think I might be treading on thin ice here, and probably a lot of other stuff as well, but why are there lots of people trying very hard to kill each other seemingly at random? I was just going for a walk the shooting started and i had to hide behind this rock to avoid being turned into jelly.

::Thickens ice under Greg's feet::

Thanks how did you do that?

*Cherry is buried under a pile of snow, which isn't very conducive to being ALIVE per se, but some do persevere... ...and here we see a glimmer of hope, or rather a great many bullets whizzing out from the oddly-placed pile of snow. Seems Cherry found her gun. The pile destabalizes, and cascades further down the hill, releasing Cherry - who, as any combat virgin would be, is quite homocidal at the moment*

*faints in amazement after realising that someone (post 288) has actually read CHOPPERS Handbook Part I*

*Screams at the sight of the avenging virgin, darts behind a hillock.*