h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, ok i'll comply
::trows out a pistol, three uzi,s, a combat knife, a small knife, 3 bottles of beer, a razor blade, a combat shoves, a billy club, 20 clips, a handful of rubber bands, 2 grenades(not armed), a toilet, and a small duck (also not armed)::
can i come out now?

*A shot goes off directly above Craxus's head, ricochetting off the wall and scattering a gun to the ground. A Terranic agent stands up.*

You! Agent! Catch!

*Tosses a large, highly advanced electronic device. Note, it uses a lot of batteries.*

::picks it up, causing all the batteries to fall out::

oh dear...

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!!

*Looks round at explosion coming out of oil refinery*

Oh ! I'm going to have to come back for you Craxus!

[Sniper] Ah, .

[Sniper] Command, this is bad. Our only agent's been reduced to a gibbering pile of emotional ruin, and the Helios you just sent in are rapidly reducing this bloct to rubble. We NEED armour, now! Tanks, artillery, this place is HOT.

*Runs up to Craxus.*

[Sniper] Sorry 'bout all this.

*Picks up Ranma, slings him over one shoulder, and runs outside.*

{an opening}
::dashes out and grabs rubberbands and shoots a volley at them at Craxus, targeting the eyes in particular::

DONT THINK IM OUT YET!
MWAHAHAHAH!!!

[Sniper] Dammit, come ON!

*Tugs on Ranma by one arm, who is furiously assaulting the enemy.*

[Sniper] This place is about to go critical! We've got to GO!

Ehhh, but we have a chance to capture him!

'Crackle' We read you Omega. Sending in division six.

*The sniper stares at the radio.*

[Sniper] Division SIX!? Those guys haven't ever finished a mission! You're mad!

Happy to hear you're glad. They'll be approaching in a few minutes.

*Craxus heres Terran. As Craxus heres it he says to Renamfreak, "Stay and I wont hurt you." Craxus shoots up the wall adjacent to the APC. Craxus rushs through the gun shot wall and jumps through it breaking it down. Craxus flys through the air and lands on the ground just in front of all the gun fire from the Terranic Soldiers. He rushs over to his motorcycle and starts up the engine. Reving the engine he signals to Terran to get outta here. Craxus speeds away going 150. Getting out of range from all the gunfire.*

Division Six? Those guys are a bigger bunch of drunks and losers than me!
Well be fine, we can take him into custody!

Dang he left, lets leave then.

*Drives off at top speed back to base*

*Drives off at top speed back to base*

*A slow rumble fills the air as a platoon of tanks block off the street exits.*

[Moron inside tank #1] Hoo-eee! (Because there's always one)

[Moron #2] Hey, Bill what's this here button do?

*Humourous farting noise.*

[#1 & #2] Hahahahahaha!

[Sniper] This is a disaster. Quick, let's leave while Six is busy laughing at the fart machine...

*Ranma and the Sniper run back to base.*

* MaW climbs into the APC, the points a finger dramatically at one of the helios gunships, concentrates very hard and generates a high-powered X-ray laser to cut right through the fuel tank *

*The copper's highly volitile fuel explodes, ripping the craft to shreads.*

[Gunship 2] Alpha is down! Requesting artillery at APC #2! Mow him down!

*Division Six's turrets rotate to point at the APC, and open fire, while the remaining two gunships launch another set of rockets, this time dead on.*

[MaW] Oh .