h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A small store that looks sligtly dilapidated lies at one end of the road, over the door it states that this is the Duckman Industries Areospace and Arms Outlet store.


Inside it is a large room filled with broken Spaceship parts and stripped weaponry, it is dim and lights blink on and off ocassionally, Posters such as "DUCKMAN INDUSTRIES! TRY OUR NEW A925201 line of StarCrusers!" and "JOIN DISF! Nothing Can beat it! Poster number A925391"

Behind the counter a clerk in his mid twenties wearing a backwards baseball cap and a goatee sits engrossed in a computer which occasionally emists a Medievil type sound loud enough to slice through the Metal he has blaring out of a hidden sound system.

RMF

*Walks in, looking like Snape, and using a Black cane with a silver tip clacking on the ground, and a silver wolf's head clenched tightly in HDS's fist.*

Hiya, what kinda weapons you got here?

*Kid running the store looks up and ponders the question, he grabs a remote and shuts off the music*

How legal are you looking for?

*looks taken aback*

Legal? when one is arming oneself one hardly thinks of the legality of it. Why, when I was in Russia, I carried my custom Walther PPK with me at all times, and you aren't supposed to have any guns on your person or in your ownership.

*leaning forward mysteriously*

So what'duh'yah got?

Well, If your looking for sheer fire power, the last Mission just brought in this *Walks over to an alien looking weapon* The Finzaring 678, Banned in three galaxies, can disitigrae a planet at half a parsec on its stongest setting, or if its more rate of fire we have a recent overflow from ths DISF armory, The DI Mark-601 1908 rounds per minute, one problem though you must wear gloves with burn ratings of 5 thousand kelvin. We also have some intresting handguns that can do all sorts of wierd things to a persons genetic makeup... Or are you looking for something more specific?

those things that mess up people's genetics sound interesting, lets see some more of those shall we?

Genetic guns huh?

*walks into a back room and returns with a breifcase, sets it on the counter and opens it, revealing three not quite human looking guns*

Well this one here is a DI creation, real nasty, works on the principles of some chemicals here on the planet, whatever the projectile touches that is organic must be promptly removed before the genetic breakdow starts to spread.

This one is a nice on in that it sends a Super-Ether shockwave througout the body causing every single peice of DNA(The acid) to instantly break into peices, casung a slow and agonizing death as vital organs wither away, unable to repair themselves or replace dead cells

Finally we have the Nitogastic 50000, we found it on, ohhhm the thrid expidition, it's non lethal, but it is handy as it will revert all genetic material to its base form, reverses super-evolutions, umm pretty much any DNA that s not the same as the targets original will be destroyed, so this is great against Bio-enhancements or critters mutated by Bomb testing.

Hmmm, maybe not. I'll come back later. See yah.

Whatever dude...

*sits back down, puts music back on its loudist level and returns to his game*

*Nods, rurns, leaves*

*Walks in.*

You trade in octarine/boron carbide compounds? I need something magical that can withstand a railgun's acceleration...

*The cleack peels his eyes away from the Game he has been playing and pumps down the music*

Magicll, nah, we have stopped stocking magical stuff years ago, but we do have some of the failed experiments to nanotechnolisize Octarine, but the side effects are a bit bizzare and we wouldn't be resposible for whatever happened, how ever we do have some armor we picked up on mission *Picks up a clipboard and flisp through it* ummm, DIMSE-0044, and i beleive it does work, brand new also...