Finally you get to see the answers - bet you've forgotten what the questions were now!

Quick Fire Round

Did You correctly match the food from the listed below?

I would provide some examples of the above in use, but we've a ridiculous number of words to get through.

Main Round

There are three possible answers listed for each word below, but only one is correct. Can You tell right from wrong?

Scaffling

• To stuff your face with scallops.
• To accidentally trap your scarf in a door.
• Scaffolding

Schollard

• Someone who can read and write.
• Coal bucket.
• Bollard for tying a schooner's mooring rope to.

Someone who can read and write. A Dictionary of Isle of Wight Dialect by WH Long (1886) contains this example of the word in context:

Well you, what I picked up when I was a bwoy, by hearen my wold granny zingen on 'en; but I never rayly learned one, 'cause I can't rade.

Ah, Keerter, there was no National Schools about when we was bwoys.

Noa there wudden't, but I went to a night school, I minds, dree times one winter, after I come hooam from work; but the vust two times the schoolmeyaster dedn't show at all, and t'other time, when a ded, we hadn't got no candle, zo I dedn't larn but very little, and never was nothen of a schollard.

The earlier A Glossary of Isle of Wight Words by Major Henry Smith and Charles Roach Smith (1876) spells the word 'Skollard'.

Scithers

• Scythe handle.
• Scissors
• A sieve.

Scroop

• Device used to pick up dog mess.
• A small scruple or doubt.
• Creaking or grating noise

Long provides these examples,

I can hear that keert-wheel scroop half-a-mile off; a must be graced when we gits into riekess.

I got a pair o'new shoes on, and they do scroop, I can tell'ee.

Well Tom, I never heerd thee try to zing but once, and then I thought it sounded like the scroopen o' our waggon wheels when they wants gracen.

The Smiths also include 'Skreak' for Creak.

Scuddick

• A subatomic particle, something minuscule.
• Steampunk guided missile.
• Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus.

Something very, very, very tiny, which Isle of Wight Dialect by Jack Lavers (1988) describes with the words,' A particle, an atom, the smallest coin', noting alternative spellings of 'Scruddick' and 'Scriddick'. Lavers quotes an election speech at Newport on 20th April, 1831:

I won't pay a scuddick towards taxes.

Good speech - direct and to the point. Long meanwhile provides these examples:

There edden't a scuddick on't left.

I can't lend ye tuppence, vor I hain't got a scuddick about me.

Incidentally, the Victorian guided missile was the Whitehead Torpedo; when launched it could be steered from shore towards its target.

Scrunge

• Grimy, oily grime.
• Squeeze or press
• A Scrooge or miser who lives by scrounging.

Simply to squeeze, with Long providing the example,

Don't keep on scrungen me up in the corner zo.

The Smiths spell this word 'Skrunge' and define it 'to squeeze closely in a crowd'.

Shat

• Measurement of toilet roll value.
• Large, dangerous, triangular-finned fish that prowls the Solent making 'Derr-Dah, Derr-Dah, Derr-dah derr-dah derr-dah der-dah' noises.
• Shall

'Shat' means 'Shall' with 'Shatn't' for 'Shall not'.

Shickshack

• Seaside shack, such as that she sells seashells on the seashore from.
• Wearing oak leaves and apples in May.
• Ship-shaped.

Traditionally oak leaves and apples were worn on Royal Oak Day (29th May) until Midday, in commemoration of Charles II hiding in an oak-tree to escape Parliamentary forces. Legends and Lays of the Isle of Wight by Percy Goddard Stone (1911) contains the poem 'Shickshack Day', with a few verses quoted below.

The twenty-ninth o' May

Es Zheckzhack Day,

Zo mount your oak my bwoys an' gie

A hip hooray!


Wold winter's gone away

-Vor zummer comes i' May-

Zo ivery one med joyful be

A Zhechzhack Day.


Twuz arter Wor'ster vray,

Wheer Crummell gained the day,

King Charles he hrode vor zafety wi'

A hip hooray!


Zo jine in, no nay,

'Tes Zheckzhack Day,

An' wi' us zing God zave t' King

Wi' hip hooray.

Show Hackle

• Being prepared to fight.
• To put something on display.
• To have a coughing fit.

Yes, to be ready to fight, an expression that comes from a cock's erecting
his hackles or neck feathers when about to fight.

The following is from Stone's short play George Morland. George Morland was a well-known landscape artist who painted many of his best pictures on the Isle of Wight. During the Napoleonic Wars and invasion panic of 1799, when he was out sketching one day he was assumed to be a French spy sketching a plan of the island, and was arrested by an ignorant militia-man (in real life a Dorset militia man - mainlanders, eh?). Even though Morland, famed for his realistic pictures of animals, had been sketching a spaniel and not anything of military importance. In the following quote from the play, the ignorant soldier is attempting to arrest a friendly gang of smugglers, shortly before he decides to arrest George Morland too.

Now laads, Doan't e zhow hackle or 'twull be the worse
Vor all. -Ztand back, I zaay.

Fortunately in the play politician John Wilkes strolls by and ensures Morland and the smugglers are all released, with the chief smuggler declaring that Morland, Bainter or no bainter, mates, I zaay ez good a chaap as e'er I met.. In real life Morland's pub landlord, Captain Plumbly of the Isle of Wight Volunteers, testified on his behalf. Stone frequently uses the phrase 'Show Hackle' in his poems, however as there's still a lot of words to get through I'll have to save them for another time.

Shute

• To partake in the production of excrement.
• To attempt to score a winning goal at the World Cup.
• Steep road or lane.

Also spelt 'shoot', although that spelling refers to young pigs and the Smiths even use 'Chute', 'Shute' is used in many road names to this day. Long uses the following example:

He ver'near auverdrode the dungpot gwyne down Newchurch Shute.

Maxwell Gray, the penname of Newport author Mary Gleed Tuttiett (1846-1923), uses the word in her novel The World's Mercy (1899):

'Oh, goo on with ee, Annie!' cried Joseph. 'You said I was to bide down bottom of shute for ee.'

Ah, the heart-warming, romantic tale of onraisonable young maade meets jackassen man who waits about dree good hours for her but whose patience is finally rewarded when at last she goo to church long with he. Gets me every time.

Shroke

• Shrivelled.
• Shrimp-flavour fizzy drink.
• High-pitched scream.

Long wrote:

They there apples be all shroke up to nothen.

Shrover

• Child going shroven on Shrove Tuesday.
• Someone who roams around.
• A special bus ticket allowing 24-hours' unlimited travel on any Southern Vectis Omnibus service.

The Smiths spell it 'Shrauvers', but children who go Shroven at Shrovetide (Shrove Tuesday) were given Shrauf-cakes or Shrove-cakes. They would then sing the Shroven song, which both the Smiths and Long quote (with some minor differences):

Sprack

• Brisk, nimble, active and also smart and spruce.
• Someone who personifies virtues such as Boldness, Caring, Confidence, Consideration, Contentment, Co-operation, Courage, Courtesy, Creativity, Determination, Dignity, Diligence, Discipline, Encouragement, Energy, Enthusiasm, Equality, Ethical, Excellence, Fairness, Flexibility, Forgiveness, Friendliness, Generosity, Gentleness, Graciousness, Gratitude, Helpfulness, Honesty, Honour, Humility, Idealism, Imaginative, Integrity, Justice, Kindness, Leadership, Love, Loyalty, Moderation, Motivation, Optimistic, Orderliness, Patience, Peace, Perseverance, Preparedness, Purposefulness, Reliability, Resilience, Respect, Responsibility, Self-discipline, Serenity, Sincerity, Support, Tact, Teamwork, Temperate, Tenacious, Thankfulness, Thoughtfulness, Tolerance, Trust, Truthfulness, Understanding, Unity, Virtue, Visionary, Wisdom, Wonder and Worth, but is particularly known for his modesty.
• To speak.

A word first recorded by A Glossary of Isle of Wight Words by Major Henry Smith and Charles Roach Smith (1876). Maxwell Gray's novel In the Heart of the Storm (1891) contains the word thus:

"Boys," said Mrs. Meade, giving him a kiss and carefully tucking in the bed-clothes he had dashed aside, "are made that lither and sprack they can't bide quiet long together, they're bound to be in some mischief, tearing and siling clothes, upsetting and breaking things, and stabbling¹ all over the house. I cried terrible when mine were took, but I do think to meself at times there was mercy in it. For however I could keep the house decent with four stabbling about, the Lord only knows."

It is also an Isle of Wight surname, used by Stone in his poem 'A Tally-Ho Day'.

For'ard on ! for he 's making for Troopers, of course

Twenty minutes and never a rest,

Ere hounds roll him over in Samborough-gorse,

And we toast him at Sprack's in the best.

The acknowledgements of Jack Lavers' Dictionary of Isle of Wight Dialect (1988) also mentions the name:

...Not forgetting Ernest Sprack of Apse, champion ploughman of the Island in 1935, whose love of his horses shone through an afternoon listening to his reminiscneces of a lifetime of farm work on the Island.

Ernest Sprack was my great-great-uncle.

Quick Fire Round: Winter and Weather

Like everyone else, who on the Isle of Wight doesn't enjoy talking about the weather. Can You identify the correct meteorological terms from those listed below?

Quick Fire Round: All Creatures Great and Small

Can You match the correct animals from those listed below? Bonus points are available if you make animal noises while doing it.

Another Main Round

Did You guess which is right, and see right through the incorrect options?

Sign

• Something of significance.
• To provide a caption for a picture or photograph.
• Intention

The Smiths provide the example,

I signs to goo to-morrow.

Simmen

• In my opinion.
• Nickname of the Simple Simon who spoke to the pieman.
• What the preacher gives at church.

Long provides the example,

'Twas middle Bargain Zadderday, and I run up agen 'en in Beeast Market, avore a got into the Red Lion. 'Hollo, mayet,' I zays, 'where'st thee spring vrom? where bist livin now, you?' ''Tes never you, Ned,' a zed, 'es it? Why I han't a zid thy wold physog² ever zunce last year. However dost git on, you?' 'Oh I be all right zo fur,' I zays, 'but where bist liven then?' 'Well,' a zed, 'I was liven at Nettlecombe, but I be liven now wi' wold varmer Stakebittle, down Lower Latchetts.' 'Thee doesn't zay zo,' zays I, 'and whatever hast got to do there?' 'Oh I onny keeps the kay o' the vuz house, and draves the ducks to water.' 'Tell'ee what 'tes, mayet,' I zays, 'simmen to me thee hast got a good aisy plaace, and thee'st better look out and keep 'en. But what dost git a year?' 'Zix pound,' a zed, 'but nor nammet, you.' I thought I'd heerd quite enough wi' that, zo I wished 'en good day, and went a little vurder on.

Sitten Britches

• Clothes with padded bottoms, worn when expecting to spend long times sitting on hard surfaces such as church pews.
• Visitors who have outstayed their welcome.
• Tablecloth.

People who have outstayed their welcome were said to have their sitten britches on. Good news for all you dandies and dedicated followers of fashion - next week's issue will also feature britches!

Skimmerton

• Skeleton
• Skimmed milk or cream.
• Someone who is very thin.

Also spelt 'Skimmurton' by the Smiths, but according to The English Dialect Dictionary ed. Joseph Wright (1906) this word is unique to the Isle of Wight.

Slaaback

• Riding a horse bareback.
• To fall over when climbing a slippery slope.
• Clumsy, loutish, ignorant person.

Long provides the following quote.

Hast zid the fresh maade at varmer White's it, you? She es a gurt slaabacked thing, from what I can zee on her.³

Stone uses the word in his poem 'The Widow':

Leer! brencheese you'm a wanten ? 'Tis allus nammet time,

I louz, wi' you young slaabacks. Heer! mind thet tub o' lime.

Jest zletched to white the skillen⁴-No ! beer's vor
men, my zon,

Zpring water 's drink vor nippers-There! zee what you've a done,

Slackumtrance

• A poorly-harnessed horse cart.
• Slovenly or dirty woman.
• A slagheap.

The Smiths spell the word 'Slackumtrans'. Long writes,

I never thought much on her: she always was a gurt slackumtrance thing, to my
mind.

Snoodle

• Pot-based noodle snack - just add hot water.
• Someone snoozing.
• Nestle close together.

Long wrote in his Introduction:

For instance, - what a combination of common every-day phrases is necessary to ... give the full meaning [an Islander] comprises in the single word "snoodle." There is no doubt that by the gradual disappearance of the local dialects, various words and forms of expression are lost, which modern English replaces but imperfectly.

Fortunately the word is recorded for posterity not only in writing but also in spoken form, for the Oscar-winning Isle of Wight writer/director Sir Anthony Minghella uses the word in The Storyteller (1987) episode 'Hans My Hedgehog':

I want a baby to wrap in a bundle and sing to and snoodle with and hug to bits.

Stone includes the word often in his poetry, see last week's example under 'Randy'⁵. Long also tells of a case of pig-stealing tried many years ago at Winchester. The chief witness for the prosecution was asked by the opposing counsel why he was so positive in swearing to the stolen pigs, as all pigs were very much alike. The witness answered,

Why, I'll tell'ee vor why: cause I snoozled 'em, and could prid near undertake to zware to every heer on their backs.

The counsel and judge initially did not understand the term 'snoozled 'em' until it was found to mean that the witness had daily attended to the pigs as affectionately as if they were pets, tenderly rubbing and scratching their backs through all his leisure time. Finally a nice, happy and caring animal story from Long, hurray!

Snoach

• A snooty, snobby snob.
• Ploughing a snowy, frozen field.
• Snuffle and/or talk through the nose.

The Smiths spell the word 'Snoche' and define it as speaking with a nasal twang, while Long uses the following context:

I zay you, d'ye mind that 'ere Smith? ...A used to hay a miserable snoach wi' 'en, and lived at Caabum Bottom one time, - the plaace you know, you, where they makes Olmanecks, and putts in the rid letters down in the bottom of the well. One day Skaymer was out our way about zummet or nother, and was talken to meyaster and the bwoy (he's growed up now), and a zays, 'What be ye gwyne to make o'your bwoy here, meyaster?' 'Well,' meyaster zed, 'I can't hardly tell it; but mooast likely I sholl make a buttcher on 'en. ''If that's what ye meeans to do wi' 'en,' zays Skaymer, 'you'd better putt'n wi' wold Doctor Clarke down at Yarmouth, vor he's the biggest buttcher I ever zid, or heerd on in this country.'"

Sojer

• Staying somewhere briefly.
• A soldier.
• Lacemaking.

Spelt 'Soger' by the Smiths, Long gives a few examples of the word in his dictionary, including:

Here's a middlen start, you! Our keerter's ben and 'listed for a sojer.

"Izay you, wold Bob Cook's maade es run away long wi' a sojer, and there's the
deuce of a zet out about it.

Long later also quotes all of a traditional Christmas Bwoys play, which includes heroic characters such as the Valiant Sojer, John Bull, Father and Mother Christmas and 'King' George, who talks of having killed a dragon and won a married a princess, so is 'Saint' George in all-but name. They face the fearsome forces of a French Captain, Napoleon 'Beelzebub' Bonaparte and a Turkish Knight. George kills all the baddies, but a doctor resurrects them, so it all works out fine in the end. The Sojer's entance speech is:

Here comes I - the Valiant Sojer,

And Bold Slasher es my naame.

I'm jest returned vrom Denmark⁶,

For 'twas there I gaained my fame;

And wi' my soord and trusty spear

I hopes to win the geame.

Many's a battle have I ben in

To serve King George, our noble king.

I've fout by say, I've fout by land,

Until I could no longer stand.

But no discussion about sojers is complete unless I once again quote 'The Recruiting Sergeant' by Stone, this time verses 7, 9-11. The poem opens with the Sergeant trying to persuade a young bwoy to enlist:

'Lor when they zee my sojer laad,

Zo boold an' brave an' gaay,

They'll hev a vright-they'l niver vight.

But turn an' hrun awaay.



'Theer 's goold to git an' loot to zell.'

Zaays I, ' I med git goold :

Best ztop I vow an' mind my plow

Then be a sojer boold.



'Wi' zwords an' guns aw'm not acquent.

I'd liever use a zool.

'Ten't in my waay, my zargeant gaay;

Goo-dry another vool.



'None o' yer blood an' war vor me-

I'll baide at hoam I vow.

'Cuckoo,' zaays I, ' Goo to, zaay I-

I'll ztick to meyaster's plow.'

Somewhen

• Somewhere.
• At some time.
• Maths, adding of sums.

This word is still in constant, daily usage across the Island. Maxwell Gray In the Heart of the Storm used the word twice, writing,

I'm bound to tell ye, my boy, I knows that well enough. But wait a bit longer, say six months. It's nothing but right you should know somewhen. There's happy times for most of us.

Well! to be sure they've been off and on again this two years past; the captain he likes his pleasure, as is natural to a young man, but he'll hev to settle down and marry somewhen, and Miss Lonsdale isn't so young as she was. Their property joins too, the Suffolk property that is. And so they say they're engaged at last.

Incidentally, 'Nowhen' means at no time and 'Anywhen' at any time, although they are not in such common usage.

Spurticles

• Glasses.
• Stuttering.
• To rush, suddenly increase speed.

Spectacles.

Standvurder

• Demand made by a highwayman.
• Candlestick holder.
• Quarrel

Wold Jerry Bull ben dead now a good many years... a used to be a kind o'groom or coachman to Squire Rushworth, who lived at Freshwater one time. The Squire couldn't bear turnpike geats - they was jest putt up then; a wouldn't never paay if a could help it, and always had a deuce of a standvurder wi'the turnpike feller. 'Drave rish droo,' he'd zay to Jerry, 'I'll stand the racket on't.

Incidentally there were 52 turnpike toll gates between Newport and Yarmouth, the town next to Freshwater, so you can understand why Squire Rushworth got annoyed.

Sturtle

• A tortoise.
• Startle
• Meteorite or shooting star.

It almost certainly startles you to know that this word means 'startle', with Long providing this, the final example of the week, in which two fellers discuss the arrival of a Godzend (shipwreck) in a storm the previous night:

Hollo you! deds't get woke up last night?

I'll war'nt it, mayet; gullies, dedn't it blow and thunder and lighten! I was afeared to lay in bed, zo I turned out, vor I was regler sturtled like. But where be you off to this way?

Why, down shore you: a ship come in last night.

Ded there? then here's off long wi' ye; noo doubt we sholl pick up zummet or nother, mayet. Dost know what she's loaded wi'?

Oh, pineapples and oranges; or zomethen like it, - zoo Will Buckett toold me. The life-boat went out to 'em, and saaved thirteen; but vower on 'em got drownded.

You don't zay zoo! Well, the zooner we gits down shore the better, then.

So what have we learned this week? Not to take things for granted, true, but more important lessons too. We now know the value beyond measure of a good snoodle. We have also seen how Sir Anthony Minghella was unafraid to use Isle of Wight dialect in his professional life, and went on to be knighted and win Oscars.

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