The h2g2 Post 17.12.12

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A crest bearing the legend The H2G2 PostA crest bearing the legend The H2G2 Post

Posted: 17th December 2012

The Boiler Man from Porlock1

And all should cry 'Beware! Beware!

His flashing eyes, his floating hair!'

His spanner whirled about his head

Should close our eyes in earthly dread,

For he shall freeze our house with cold

Until we cross his palms with gold!
  –   Minorvogonpoet

h2g2 is many things: the place where we write the wonderful Guide. The place where you meet your friends. And above all, the place where creative Stuff happens.

Take jwf. (Please.) He's rewritten that poem at least three times. I finally threatened him with grievous bodily harm if he did it again, even going to the lengths of posting him the 'Niagara Falls' clip from Youtube as a deterrent. He subsided, gracefully. (Watching jwf do graceful things is one of the perks of this job.) But you need to read the poem – it's been worked on.

All of this material is must-read, from Deke's adventures on the kayaking front to Phoenician Trader's last (for now) cathedral review. Awix has been to the cinema, Willem's been outdoors (he's even got a mongoose in his garden, these days), and benjaminpmoore's been observing humanity. All as it should be.

I asked people to share their Christmas anecdotes, and you've been doing that magnificently. MVP, author of the brilliant jeu d'esprit above, tells us about her son Geoffrey's close encounters with a jolly old elf, while tucuxii lets us in on the ways in which meat-eating Christians ruin Christmas for their vegetarian atheist relatives. (You'll be glad you read this.)

There is the usual madness, visual and verbal. Test your wits against Galaxy Babe, our guest Quizmaster. I told her that only she could truly challenge you Trekkers out there. See if you can pass the galactic test.

You know our gmail address by now. If inspiration strikes, go with it, and send us the result.

Ignore the Boiler Man from Porlock.

Dmitri Gheorgheni




  • A Puck Christmas cover from 1914

  • Cyphostemma juttae by Willem





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1'A man from Porlock' refers to the mundane dork who interrupted Coleridge when he was writing his poem about Kublai Khan. When the poet got back to work, he was unable to remember the dream he had, and the world lost out. Unkind people have suggested that the Man from Porlock was Coleridge's dealer, but we ignore things like that.

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