h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: How To Be a Table-Dancer - A872787
Author: GTBacchus - Check out the h2g2 Maths Lab @ A895205 - U166086

This is the 4th (or so) version of an entry that began as A731477 a long time ago. I hope it will be found acceptable for the EG this time. The blockquotes are from the original entry, whose author is sadly no longer with us. I've tried to include information that had been requested in the last PR thread.

Whaddya think?

I think you've done really well with this GTB.

I think one of the problems with the original entry was that it appeared to promote women having sex for money in a commercial sense and I suspect the editors would have had problems with that. I did.

You've kept much of the original flavour. As it's contained mostly in block quotes, it is much easier to digest.

One of the original questions I asked myself when the original entry was in PR was 'how do you actually learn the routines?'. I suspect there's no real way to answer this apart from as is suggested in the entry, seeing what others do and having a creative imagination (and probably working out in the gym to get the necessary strength and flexibility). There was a film about the stripper 'Gypsy Rose Lee' which showed how she made a killing out of being sufficiently different from all the other strippers. I wonder if there is a link somewhere to that?

Can't see anything here that would stop it going in the EG, but then again, I'm not a Scout!
Nonetheless, well done for an informative entry
Oberon2001

It seems fine to me. I am curious why so much is in blockquotes though, this was probably mentioned in another PR thread, but i haven't read those.

Tango

I think you have done a wonderful job with a difficult task. No matter whether it is acceptable or not I thank you for that. I persoanlly have no problem with the entry as it stands right now. I think the nature of the thing has changed drastically since Lil submitted it for Peer Review that first time. I understand the details of all that will be lost on a lot of people who are just now becoming familar with the entry. I know so little of the process that it must go through for sub editing though. So whatever happens thank you for your effort, and for remembering Lil. It is a shame that she never had to chance to contribute more to this guide. She had knowledge about so much more than table dancing that would have been useful to anybody who read it.

>>I am curious why so much is in blockquotes though<<
It's snippets from the previous entries about table-dancing that weren't allowed into the EG, I believe. Apparently this is the 4th or 5th incarnation of this entry.
Oberon2001

Regarding the blockquotes, Oberon's right. Everything in blockquotes is the words of the original author, lilithcookie, and the rest is my stuff. I chose that format for a couple of reasons. First of all, the chief appeal of the original for many was its style and tone, and I wanted to preserve that. Second, I needed to add more information, and since lilithcookie isn't around to work it into her piece, I thought it best that I add it in a completely different voice, while allowing her prose to continue speaking for itself. Hopefully it comes across like I'm a sort of narrator, and she's the voice of experience, or something like that.

Perhaps I should footnote the first blockquote, explaining that a bit, so readers unfamiliar with the entry's history aren't confused.



Thanks, everyone, for your feedback so far. I'm especially gratified to hear from Lil's friends, here and in the old PR thread, that they feel I've respected the original version, as that was the challenge in making a new version. This is why you're not seeing the abortive version 3, for example.



ZSF, (hi! ), you asked about how an aspiring dancer would learn the routines - I really don't think there's anything beyond what it already says in the entry: watch and learn. If something brings a lot of tips, you do it again, but that's obvious.

The basic drill is to alternate between strutting around displaying oneself, and dropping to the stage for a few seconds of movements normally associated with intercourse, in a variety of positions. All in time with the music, of course. The only goal is to facilitate the fantasizing of your customers. (Sure, I've researched this. "So, you're a dance student, learning modern dance? Do you use any of that stuff in your routines here?" "No.") I could make that clearer in the entry, if it would be helpful?



GTB

Gypsy Rose Lee, eh? I'll have to look into that. I might just add a list of films at the bottom, and also include Striptease and Showgirls. Any others?

Good work GTB

I think the author's original tone is still there, but with a bit more context added.

It comes out very well and I think this should go into the EG.

Sprout

Not bad, but the original author wasn't very good on information and detail, or so it seems. I'm not sure if this entry can claim to tell you how to become a table-dancer, as it doesn't go into things like: how do you get paid? Is it cash in hand? Do you get to keep all your tips yourself or do some go to the management? How much flexibility do you have in the hours you work? Do you decide what to do or does the management?

Another note: this entry specifically describes the US experience. It's slightly different in the UK.

>>Strip clubs, or topless bars, or whatever you call them, exist everywhere there are men and women.

There are plenty of places that don't have strip clubs. Apart from anything else, in the UK you have to have a license granted by the local authority, and some authorities are more 'liberal' than others. Perhaps change to "exist in every community where there are men and women".

There's no mention of the fact that the stage performances are very often 'in character', e.g. naughty schoolgirl (there was a time just after Britney Spears 'Baby One More Time' came out that all the girls were doing schoolgirl routines to this. I haven't been to a strip club recently but I expect that Christina Aguilera's Dirrty is the current popular choice!).

>>Getting the job isn't that hard

However, you *do* have to have a certain flexibility to be a stripper. If you can't do the splits, or at least raise your leg higher than your hip, you're not going to cut the mustard. So if you've never had any kind of dancing or gymnastic training, there's probably no point.

Note: in the UK, strip clubs and table-dancing clubs are two different things, as the table-dancing idea was imported from the States. Normal UK strip clubs don't have table-dancing or pole-dancing, just the stage show. Although this is slowly changing.

Might be interesting to mention that pole dancing is becoming a popular pastime and many gyms are starting to offer pole-dancing classes - for reasons of fitness rather than career development.

In UK clubs, guys either stand right in front of the stage, or skulk around at the back, rather than being evenly distributed around the club. The front of the stage is known as 'gynaecologists' row'.

Since table-dancing clubs have, er, tables, they can be evenly distributed around the club interior, so you don't have the set-up described in the paragraph above.

Anyway, its an interesting subject although you seem to have shied away from some of the more, erm, entertaining aspects - presumably in deference to Auntie's sensibilities.

Gubernatrix

Gubernatrix, hi.

That's some good feedback; thanks. I'm about to get on a bus, but when I get back to Dallas, I'll see about dealing with some of what you said, and also a couple of other things that have come up. Watch this space!

GTB

* puts his hand off the trigger *

Oh drat, and I was ready to fire away until I read the last posting

Right, it's been a long bus ride...

Give me a few days, and I'll do some edits, I promise.

Do let us know when you've made the changes, GBT!

I will, ZSF - I'm just trying to finish up my current subbing batch, and this is next on my list! Now that the holidays are over (and I survived), I'm able to put in more time here again.


GTB

*circles like a drawn to chum*

This is a great improvement and should go EG-ward as soon as you're happy with it.



- Jimi X

mmmm.... chum!

I'll let you know when I've done a round of edits in response to Gubernatrix' post. Maybe I'll work on that now...

Ok, Gubernatrix, I've taken some of your comments on board. Thanks again.



"how do you get paid? Is it cash in hand? Do you get to keep all your tips yourself or do some go to the management? How much flexibility do you have in the hours you work? Do you decide what to do or does the management?"

I added a section on getting paid, which answers some of this. It's so variable, there's not a lot I can say for sure.



"Perhaps change to 'exist in every community where there are men and women'."

or even '...exist in just about every community where there are men and women.'



"There's no mention of the fact that the stage performances are very often 'in character'"

That's a good point, and at the beginning of the final section, I've added a little bit about role-playing, and how it benefits the girls as well as the guys.



"However, you *do* have to have a certain flexibility to be a stripper. If you can't do the splits, or at least raise your leg higher than your hip, you're not going to cut the mustard."

Yeah..... you can't be immobile, but you don't have to be *that* gymnastic. I'm thinking of a lap-dance (or two) I had a few years ago. It was in a bit of a dive club, on a Tuesday afternoon, during something of a bender, but it sticks in my memory. The girl wasn't in great shape - she wasn't particularly thin, and was kind of slow-moving - maybe she could do the splits, maybe not - but she knew how to be *cute*, and how to work a customer. I remember her je ne sais quoi long after I've forgotten the gymnastic moves of plenty of other girls, and she managed to make some good tips from me that day. The business is sales, and anyone will tell you that believing in your product is the number one rule in sales. If you KNOW you're sexy, then you are.

All the same, I added a sentence somewhere in the bit about getting started, complete with a nice pose to visualize.



"Note: in the UK, strip clubs and table-dancing clubs are two different things, as the table-dancing idea was imported from the States. Normal UK strip clubs don't have table-dancing or pole-dancing, just the stage show."

I've noted more clearly that setups vary widely from club to club.



"Might be interesting to mention that pole dancing is becoming a popular pastime and many gyms are starting to offer pole-dancing classes - for reasons of fitness rather than career development."

Fascinating. Footnoted.




"In UK clubs, guys either stand right in front of the stage, or skulk around at the back, rather than being evenly distributed around the club."

Losers. Get a table, have a drink, relax already. Don't they have tables? I'm gonna have to check out a club next time I'm over there.




"you seem to have shied away from some of the more, erm, entertaining aspects - presumably in deference to Auntie's sensibilities."

Gosh, I'd hate to deprive anyone of the joy of finding out some things for themselves!



Anyone like the changes?


GTB

Cool - like it a lot!

If she's happy, I'm happy.


Have at it, Scouts!