h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am a cameraman and several years ago I had to pick up a sound man at 6:00 to catch a flight to our location. It was a short flight on a two prop commuter so we left from the smaller airport which is quite informal. I parked the van (running) in front of the building and unloaded my gear and carried it in. I left the sound man to get his gear together and bought us both a coffee. He came in ten minutes later, we checked in and waited long enough to finish our coffees then boarded. As we took off I asked him for the keys. He said "I thought YOU parked it!" We returned 14 hours later the same day to find that the van had sat and ran out of gas in front of the terminal. The television markings had kept everyone away. Finally the security guard had phoned the television station and asked about it. Needless to say the following day was my worst day when I went in.

Oh dear...

Sure, you laugh. Should I tell my buddy Bert the sound guy you find us amusing?

BERT?

You actually work with someone called BERT?

BERT AND ERNIE! SESAME STREET!



That is hilarious!! That would make my day being able to go to work and get to call someone Bert...

Better yet, he has business cards that list his business name as "Not Ernie" and he looks so much like a certain Rolling Stone that he asks for money if you comment on it.

Oh wow. I am impressed. And I find that incredibly humourous...

Not Ernie.

My buddy Bert was one of the guys who spent the six weeks on a boat with me chasing whales. This from a guy who can't swim and slept in a life jacket.

Oh bless him. What a thouroughly humourous bloke.

A true *Cowboy* from Alberta but his life is not all roses. He's suffering from the same affliction as Sally. Another reason to have him as a friend.

So what is this mysterious affliction? My memory is failing me...is it just common dirt depression, or something worse? Depression is s**t as it is...hope it's not anything bad.

This is more public than I would like, but we are talking about deep, dark depression. Week long diving into the darkest, deepest, dankest depths imaginable. The thing that Zoloft, etc was designed for and which made many lives manageable. The soft, dark underbelly of life that more than 1/4 of the world has to live with in various strengths. The thing that makes people hang themselves or worse. Here be monsters.

Hmmm. I see. So have things improved any since we last approached the subject?

Talk to me elsewhere.

Stepping on toes again am I?

Not paying attention to where this conversation is...

Overtired. Got to go to bed soon

Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.


I have always found that to be the most bizarre of night time statements. *What? There are bedbugs? How do I stop them from biting me? Even if they don't I don't want to sleep here!!*

I know. It's so creepy. And dirty in a bad way.

And scary!

Night night...

There are two old guys who used to come in the pub where I used to work every single day called Bert and Ernie. They were of that age I had to explain it to them every single day and they never remembered the next day...

Know where the characters originated? They were taken from "It's A Wonderful Life"- the policeman and the cab driver. (Great little known trivia)